The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: FiddyBeowulf on February 19, 2012, 09:52:40 AM

Title: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on February 19, 2012, 09:52:40 AM
From the woman to what her boy friend was doing to what he found while doing it.

The Wrongness!!! (http://www.anorak.co.uk/289852/strange-but-true/lover-finds-dead-cat-beneath-fat-womans-bottom.html/)
(http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/amanda-simmons.jpg)

Quote
AMANDA Simmons, aka Mandy Mountain, of Charleston, West Virginia, weighs 55stones (770 lbs.).  She says that when her lover went to inspect her chub at close quarters he spotted a cat (avoid obvious joke – ed). The cat was dead. Mandy had sat on it.

Says Mandy, 25:

    “Poor little Buttons must have suffocated when I rolled over. I never even noticed. ‘It wasn’t even my kitten – I was looking after him for my neighbours. My boyfriend was going down on me when he shrieked and leapt back, sobbing.”

You might suppose he was made of tougher stuff.

He’s lucky he got out alive…

 :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: mamacags on February 19, 2012, 09:59:14 AM
Oh my gosh!!!  So nasty!
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: RightCoast on February 19, 2012, 11:54:21 AM
At least she paints her toenails...
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: obumazombie on February 19, 2012, 11:59:17 AM
Someone does. I can't imagine it's her though. I've heard of chubby chasers, but it would be like chasing a parked car.
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: IassaFTots on February 19, 2012, 12:26:14 PM
Fiddy, that deserved a spork alert.  For. Shame.
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: MrsSmith on February 19, 2012, 12:51:44 PM
Fiddy, that deserved a spork alert.  For. Shame.
Yep... lunch is running late, so I showed this to my hubby.  He's fine with waiting a while now.   :rotf:
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 19, 2012, 12:53:26 PM
Yep... lunch is running late, so I showed this to my hubby.  He's fine with waiting a while now.   :rotf:

You could cut down on food expenditures by continuing to show him this, ya know . . . :evillaugh:
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: FreeBorn on February 19, 2012, 01:01:29 PM
Hadn't planned on seeing my lunch again today but damn, there it is.

Gee, thanks Fiddy!  :hammer:

"My boyfriend was going down on me when"... OMG! I can't even begin to imagine.

(http://www.talking-scuba.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/divehelmet.jpg)

Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: obumazombie on February 19, 2012, 04:47:19 PM
Men of Honor.
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on February 19, 2012, 06:43:01 PM
Hadn't planned on seeing my lunch again today but damn, there it is.

Gee, thanks Fiddy!  :hammer:

"My boyfriend was going down on me when"... OMG! I can't even begin to imagine.

(http://www.talking-scuba.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/divehelmet.jpg)


Well think about this. How bad does she smell that she or her boyfriend (  :puke: ) did not notice the smell of a decaying kitten?

Enjoy supper.   :evillaugh:

 :-)
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: JohnnyReb on February 20, 2012, 08:09:43 AM
"Surfice it to say", Nadin needs to expand on this one.
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on February 20, 2012, 10:57:27 AM
Men of Honor.

She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and it was like that all night long...offer, honor, offer, honor...

 :rimshot:
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: Gina on February 20, 2012, 11:15:08 AM
 :lmao:  I just sucked a sunflower seed up my nose from my mouth.  THAT IS HORRENDOUS!   :lmao:
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: FreeBorn on February 20, 2012, 11:27:07 AM
Well think about this. How bad does she smell that she or her boyfriend (  :puke: ) did not notice the smell of a decaying kitten?

Enjoy supper.   :evillaugh:

 :-)
(http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pictures/Fat-Lady-Loses-Dog-446.gif)

I skipped dinner yesterday, thank you very much!

Just think how long it took that poor little kitten to die nine times!
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: CG6468 on February 20, 2012, 11:29:16 AM
All kinds of straight lines here. But I will not go there. Nope. Not me. Never do it
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on February 20, 2012, 11:38:47 AM
All kinds of straight lines here. But I will not go there. Nope. Not me. Never do it

You got your LOLcats, and you got your DOAcats...
Title: Re: This story goes from wrong to wronger to wrongest.
Post by: Gina on February 20, 2012, 12:07:17 PM
were there maggots?