The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 07:03:31 PM

Title: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 07:03:31 PM
Ok, someone gets out of their car, comes on to your property at 11:30pm and smashes the snowman your kids built. You get a partial plate but know who's car it is (because they live down the street from you). What do you do?  (give me funny and mean) :popcorn:

Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on February 11, 2011, 07:10:02 PM
If the car has lift-up door handles...

...wipe dog-shit up into the handles.



Suntan lotion on the windshield is good too.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 07:11:26 PM
If the car has lift-up door handles...

...wipe dog-shit up into the handles.



Suntan lotion on the windshield is good too.

vaseline works great under the windshield wipers.......just put gobs under the blades and then just sit back and fantasize about when they will need to use those wipers  :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: mamacags on February 11, 2011, 07:13:41 PM
I would let the air out of their tires.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 11, 2011, 07:15:19 PM
Get a can of sardines and pour down the fresh air intake for the passenger compartment (the grill looking thing below the wipers) or use milk and do the same. Come summertime...... car will be uninhabitable.

Get a  tool to remove valve stems from tires and remove all four valve stems. Discard removed valve stems.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DixieBelle on February 11, 2011, 07:15:30 PM
How old is your kid? If they are of an age to play along, go knock on their door and have your kid wail and scream and cry "YOU KILLED MY FROSTY!!!!!"
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: mamacags on February 11, 2011, 07:15:48 PM
Fill out catalog requests from online porn stores with their address
Call the mormons and tell them you want to speak to them at their address
Spread fertilizer on their yard in the shape of a body part in the spring.  They will have it forever.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 11, 2011, 07:17:28 PM
Spray Round Up in a pattern or words of your choice......
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 07:19:57 PM

I would let the air out of their tires.
:cheersmate:  We are so alike it's scary......except I have bigger boobs

I also thought about stuffing their mailbox full of snow and put the snow man's eyes and nose that in the form of a face so when they opened it they would know where it came from
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DixieBelle on February 11, 2011, 07:26:52 PM
Oh I like it Gina!!! Do it!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 07:30:24 PM
Someone's tweaking!!!! :stoner:

(http://www.funny-games.biz/images/pictures/1937-snowmen-army.jpg)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 11, 2011, 07:57:35 PM
Fill out catalog requests from online porn stores with their address
Call the mormons and tell them you want to speak to them at their address
Spread fertilizer on their yard in the shape of a body part in the spring.  They will have it forever.

Not Mormans.  Jehovah's Witnesses.....Seriously. 

On the same note as the fertilizer, grass killer. 

And forget the tires.  They might think of you first. Mineral Spirits or Fingernail polish on the paint job.  Spelling out something like "I love Men.." 
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 08:02:03 PM
Not Mormans.  Jehovah's Witnesses.....Seriously. 

On the same note as the fertilizer, grass killer. 

And forget the tires.  They might think of you first. Mineral Spirits or Fingernail polish on the paint job.  Spelling out something like "I love Men.." 

brake fluid in a squirt gun, works great :naughty:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Boudicca on February 11, 2011, 08:37:25 PM
All great suggestions.  May I add, wait a week or two until they think they've gotten away with the crime.  Then, hit 'em.

Buy an inflatable dummy, or rent one from the DUmp, knock it around some, maybe spread some ketchup all over the "body", leave it on their front lawn in the wee hours, then have an accomplice call in an anonymous report of a dead body at your neighbor's.
Don't forget to wipe any fingerprints off the dummy.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 11, 2011, 08:47:58 PM
brake fluid in a squirt gun, works great :naughty:

Waiting is key, if you do it soon, they have you pegged.  Patience is a virtue, or so I have heard.   :whistling:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 11, 2011, 08:54:49 PM
Waiting is key, if you do it soon, they have you pegged.  Patience is a virtue, or so I have heard.   :whistling:

what does your name mean?   everytime I see it I think it says "I hassa farts"   :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 11, 2011, 08:57:29 PM
what does your name mean?   everytime I see it I think it says "I hassa farts"   :lmao:

That is by far the best yet.   :cheersmate:

Everyone else thinks something about tater tots.   :mental:

Acronym:  I am so sick and F-ing Tired of this shit.   O-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 11, 2011, 09:11:58 PM
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"......

Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: CG6468 on February 11, 2011, 09:12:29 PM
Crazy Glue under the wipers is always good..........  :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: dandi on February 11, 2011, 10:24:41 PM
If you know where they work, take a loaf of Italian bread, tear the end off, slide it down the antenna, let the birds take care of the rest.

Best part?  No evidence at the end of the day.

 :-)

Or you could burn their house down.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: chitownchica on February 11, 2011, 10:32:49 PM
Banana in the tailpipe.

Yeah, I just watched Beverly Hills Cop again.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DefiantSix on February 11, 2011, 10:40:05 PM
If you know where they work, take a loaf of Italian bread, tear the end off, slide it down the antenna, let the birds take care of the rest.

Best part?  No evidence at the end of the day.

 :-)

Or you could burn their house down.

This your kid, Wasp?  :-)

(http://pedimanipause.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/gsimage1.jpg)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 11, 2011, 10:44:28 PM
Bananas don't work, but a potato does....... ;)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: chitownchica on February 11, 2011, 10:49:32 PM
Bananas don't work, but a potato does....... ;)

Good to know for future reference  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: dandi on February 11, 2011, 11:17:33 PM
This your kid, Wasp?  :-)

(http://pedimanipause.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/gsimage1.jpg)

My youngest, the princess...

 :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Airwolf on February 12, 2011, 12:07:06 AM
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"......

Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan

I was thinking of that very quote. Now if only there was a way to make 100 tiny snowmen in a few hours and leave them on the lawn. Do that for a few days straight and watch them freak.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Evil_Conservative on February 12, 2011, 12:08:25 AM
Do you have a paintball gun?
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 12, 2011, 12:08:42 AM
This your kid, Wasp?  :-)

(http://pedimanipause.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/gsimage1.jpg)

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  I have so seen that look in my daughter's eyes.  
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Tucker on February 12, 2011, 09:14:09 AM
Ever heard of the book "Don't get mad, get even"?

It's worth a read. These guys are pros.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TexasCop on February 12, 2011, 11:08:06 AM
We had a case recently where pranksters took sidewalk chalk and literally drew THOUSANDS of penises all over this kid's house, sidewalk, driveway.....well, any surface possible.  Then in the roadway they drew in big letters, "WELCOME TO THE PENIS PALACE" with an arrow pointing to the house covered in penises.  It's just chalk and not permanent, but it takes some time to clean up.....enough time to where all the neighbors will see the new neighborhood Penis Palace!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: FreeBorn on February 12, 2011, 11:15:47 AM
Well I've got 600 ft of garden hose here, a full 200 yards. It might take the better part of the night but that azzhole would awaken in a glistening ice palace like a goldfish in a bowl. I mean everything, from the mailbox to the weather vane to the back fence, entirely encapsulated. See you in the spring jackoff!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TexasCop on February 12, 2011, 11:16:44 AM
Well I've got 600 ft of garden hose here, a full 200 yards. It might take the better part of the night but that azzhole would awaken in a glistening ice palace like a goldfish in a bowl. I mean everything, from the mailbox to the weather vane to the back fence, entirely encapsulated. See you in the spring jackoff!
:lol:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 12, 2011, 11:38:20 AM
Crazy Glue into the car locks might work.  I like the sardines in the air intake.  'Course, if you had the time, removing all of the lug nuts on the car, except for one per tire, might work.  When all four tires decide to leave the car, it's going to be a cast-iron bitch to get tow hooks or prongs under it . . .
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: vesta111 on February 12, 2011, 12:15:51 PM
:lol:


How old are the people that did this,   a factor to figure in.

If teens then forget them go for the parents, they may get the message to control their kids in a way nothing else helps.

Lets see, find out where the parents work and slap on a bumper sticker reading, " A proud member of MBLA, send us your boys

."Take out a one week add in the local paper stating a time and date for the local MBLA  meeting using their address.

Get a letter printed, addressed to the Father that says that if he cannot control his kids, more is to come and send it FedEx with return address of Bill Aryes. SIGNED FOR.

These may be great parents that have no idea what kind of Hooliganism the kids may be into so tread carefully.

If these are kids the object is to get the parents FULL attention.  If the parents are the kind of folk that think that busting up a snow man on private property is no big deal, then you have kids in the making that think nothing of trashing public or private property by whim.

When Parents are subject to kids that paint Giraffe, break windows and run amok, most parents will cry they had no idea what the kids were doing and get in a huff when anyone asked them about this.  I cannot control my child they say, but when it comes to their being placed in a bad spot, be sure they will try .

To be fair to the parents and stop their monsters who are to them "good Kids"  give them some of their own inside knowledge as to what their own "good kids" are doing to others.

I wonder what a mother who has a son that deals drugs out of her home and says she cannot stop this activities would do if every day she found her front and back doors blocked by dog, human and cat shit with a sign in the middle with her child's name on it.   Bet that activity stops on second day.






Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Evil_Conservative on February 12, 2011, 12:29:24 PM
We had a case recently where pranksters took sidewalk chalk and literally drew THOUSANDS of penises all over this kid's house, sidewalk, driveway.....well, any surface possible.  Then in the roadway they drew in big letters, "WELCOME TO THE PENIS PALACE" with an arrow pointing to the house covered in penises.  It's just chalk and not permanent, but it takes some time to clean up.....enough time to where all the neighbors will see the new neighborhood Penis Palace!

:rotf:

I mean, it's immature... but funny.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 12, 2011, 12:47:24 PM
Crazy Glue into the car locks might work.  I like the sardines in the air intake.  'Course, if you had the time, removing all of the lug nuts on the car, except for one per tire, might work.  When all four tires decide to leave the car, it's going to be a cast-iron bitch to get tow hooks or prongs under it . . .

I don't think physical harm was in the equation.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 12, 2011, 12:49:11 PM
I don't think physical harm was in the equation.

 :lmao:  I was going to say wait outside in the morning and when they are unlocking their car door bash them in the head with a crowbar  :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 12, 2011, 01:13:24 PM
:lmao:  I was going to say wait outside in the morning and when they are unlocking their car door bash them in the head with a crowbar  :lmao:

It ain't subtle, or sneaky, but effective nonetheless. 
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 12, 2011, 02:49:00 PM
I don't think physical harm was in the equation.

I said nothing about physically harming them . . . O-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 12, 2011, 02:49:38 PM
It ain't subtle, or sneaky, but effective nonetheless. 

Not only that, it tends to discourage repeat offenses.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: debk on February 12, 2011, 04:28:27 PM
Absolutely do nothing to touch the mailbox.....it's a federal offense if you get caught. Years ago, we had a problem in our neighborhood with kids bashing the mailboxes in the middle of the night with ball bats. Guy across the street, who is now the current Chief of Police with the city, was first a career FBI agent...his was frequently hit. If he had caught them, he would have had them arrested. Instead he buried steel spikes upright in cement all through the flower bed at the base of the mailbox. Mailbox was only hit once after those spikes went in.  :-)

You don't want to do anything that will do permanent damage to anything. If you are caught, you may have to pay the damages. The sardines in the air intake of the car is a good one, so is the bread on the antenna. The bird poop will harm the finish on the car, but the key is that YOU didn't do it...the birds did.

Golf balls tossed into the gutters so that they clatter down in the middle of the night can be quite disturbing to a soundly sleeping person.  :whistling:

Cat poop dumped all around the house into the mulch is quite odiferous. Can't be seen either. 

Wait a few weeks though.... :naughty:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 12, 2011, 04:36:54 PM
summer it gets quite hot here so I am wondering if I leave some fish in a bucket of water to rot a little then pour the water around their front door........they would be nailed with flies until it rained.   Wonder is that would work?
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: LC EFA on February 12, 2011, 04:54:53 PM
Jar of chicken intestines in the trunk under the spare tire. Leave no headspace in the jar. Come summer when it starts to get nice and warm said jar will divest its contents all over the trunk.

(I learned this from a friend who forgot said jar on returning from a fishing trip one time and only discovered it after it burst).
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 12, 2011, 05:01:20 PM
Jar of chicken intestines in the trunk under the spare tire. Leave no headspace in the jar. Come summer when it starts to get nice and warm said jar will divest its contents all over the trunk.

(I learned this from a friend who forgot said jar on returning from a fishing trip one time and only discovered it after it burst).


That's a good idea. However, they'd have to gain access to this neighbor's trunk. Waiting and watching might work, but they might get caught.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 12, 2011, 05:02:37 PM
Jar of chicken intestines in the trunk under the spare tire. Leave no headspace in the jar. Come summer when it starts to get nice and warm said jar will divest its contents all over the trunk.

(I learned this from a friend who forgot said jar on returning from a fishing trip one time and only discovered it after it burst).


my brothers put a dead fish in the hubcap of his friend's father's Dodge dart :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: T-Monay820 on February 12, 2011, 06:35:12 PM
:lmao:  I was going to say wait outside in the morning and when they are unlocking their car door bash them in the head with a crowbar  :lmao:

Or just shoot them. Then you wouldn't even have to leave your house. Just open the window.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 12, 2011, 06:46:32 PM
Or just shoot them. Then you wouldn't even have to leave your house. Just open the window.

Ohhhhhhhhh good idea!  I'll get Kitteh to do it

(http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e20/mhm21/cat_gun.jpg)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TVDOC on February 12, 2011, 07:00:11 PM
My personal favorite is to "Superglue" all four tires on their car to a blacktop street (yes it works if both surfaces are dry).  Requires a lot of Superglue, but it's funny as hell when they attempt to drive off.......

To get it  loose they'll have to saturate the area with acetone, which will also leave the city with four nice potholes to patch.

doc
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Chris_ on February 12, 2011, 07:02:50 PM
:rofl: I'm going to have to remember that.  How much superglue?
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TVDOC on February 12, 2011, 07:07:13 PM
:rofl: I'm going to have to remember that.  How much superglue?

It requires about two one-ounce containers per tire.......just squirt it under the tread (front and back of each tire), and capillary action does the rest.  Three minutes later, that car ain't going anywhere.

doc
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: CG6468 on February 13, 2011, 08:34:17 AM
Had a neighbor once who was a card-carrying idiot. At the time, I had access to various chemicals. A favorite "get back atcha" was thioglycolic acid, aka Mercaptoacetic acid. Unless it's stored under refrigeration, it will decompose into an acid that smell just like skunk piss. And I mean JUST like skunk piss.

Well, I skunkpissed this neighbor's driver's door after he screwed with me one last time, between the door and the window. Couldn't even see it.

He traded the truck that week. And it really smelled bad..........
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: vesta111 on February 13, 2011, 09:09:38 AM
Had a neighbor once who was a card-carrying idiot. At the time, I had access to various chemicals. A favorite "get back atcha" was thioglycolic acid, aka Mercaptoacetic acid. Unless it's stored under refrigeration, it will decompose into an acid that smell just like skunk piss. And I mean JUST like skunk piss.

Well, I skunkpissed this neighbor's driver's door after he screwed with me one last time, between the door and the window. Couldn't even see it.

He traded the truck that week. And it really smelled bad..........

Good Grief, some of you guys are going to jail.      We are talking about some idiots that wrecked a kids snow man, not people that fire bomb you in the night.


CG6, any sporting store up here carries fox scent for hunters.  This stuff smells much worse then skunk and only a drop is needed.

These are draconian punishments for a kids prank, Get the hell up off your butt, go outside and help the kids rebuild the darn snowman.
The darn thing will melt is a day or two anyway.

Save the big stuff for when the kids destroy something of yours like a mail box or steal your hubcaps, vandalise something of value of yours--- Pick your battles very carefully, From the news today where a rancher caught 20 illegals destroying his property and now has to pay THEM for catching them and turning them into the police, keep the law in mind--anyone can sue a ham sandwitch.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TexasCop on February 13, 2011, 09:49:51 AM
vesta, I get the impression that they're just joking.  I doubt most people posting would do any of the things they suggested.  And if they do, hey, job security for me.  :)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: thundley4 on February 13, 2011, 09:56:38 AM
I've seen some funny things done to cars and trucks at work.  Heavy duty grease smeared on windows, shrink wrap covering an entire car, packing peanuts filling the inside of a vehicle, a big Obama sign taped on the back of a tailgate, gay pride signs put on the back or front of cars.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TexasCop on February 13, 2011, 10:06:02 AM
Just add a little accessory to the back of their car.  I mean, come on, who ever really looks at the back of their car??
 
(http://images8.cpcache.com/product/rainbow-pride-lesbian/375859508v4_225x225_Front.jpg)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on February 13, 2011, 10:58:23 AM
Dig out a "Calvin and Hobbes" collection and look at the snowman strips for inspiration.  I see something like a snowman 'fatality' laying across his hood, with a charcoal-briguet expression of shock and agony on his face, or in his driveway with a tiremark across the midsection...
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DefiantSix on February 13, 2011, 02:35:10 PM
Just add a little accessory to the back of their car.  I mean, come on, who ever really looks at the back of their car??
 
(http://images8.cpcache.com/product/rainbow-pride-lesbian/375859508v4_225x225_Front.jpg)

Did that little ditty come with that 'bimmer' of yers?!?!   :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 13, 2011, 02:43:14 PM
Did that little ditty come with that 'bimmer' of yers?!?!   :-)
:lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 13, 2011, 05:53:03 PM
(http://i381.photobucket.com/albums/oo257/cnlawrence/merryxmas.jpg)

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  PURE AWESOMENESS! :lol:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DixieBelle on February 13, 2011, 08:12:30 PM
:rofl: just in time for Valentines Day.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DixieBelle on February 13, 2011, 08:13:08 PM
Just add a little accessory to the back of their car.  I mean, come on, who ever really looks at the back of their car??
 
(http://images8.cpcache.com/product/rainbow-pride-lesbian/375859508v4_225x225_Front.jpg)
OMG! We put a rainbow Superman "S" sticker on the back of guy's jeep once. Comedy Gold!!!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 13, 2011, 09:31:48 PM
Jar of chicken intestines in the trunk under the spare tire. Leave no headspace in the jar. Come summer when it starts to get nice and warm said jar will divest its contents all over the trunk.

(I learned this from a friend who forgot said jar on returning from a fishing trip one time and only discovered it after it burst).


Damn, I didn't know that chickens had intestines. I just sorta figured they splattered.  :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Starring Emma on February 13, 2011, 10:07:46 PM
:cheersmate:  We are so alike it's scary......except I have bigger boobs

I also thought about stuffing their mailbox full of snow and put the snow man's eyes and nose that in the form of a face so when they opened it they would know where it came from

I like this idea!  Make it wet snow so it freezes solid.  Remember though messing with US mail can be a federal crime.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: NHSparky on February 13, 2011, 10:21:19 PM
The best revenge won't hurt them or their property--remember, they didn't harm anything besides a snowman--but will really screw with their heads.

Unfortunately, you can't do this one anymore, but back in the day, ping pong balls in the gas tank really screwed with people.  Don't know what you can use these days since they won't fit.  Swapping around the plug wires would be good if you can get under the hood.

Dog crap on the doormat is always a good one too...they wipe their feet thinking they're cleaning them off, when in reality...

If you know these people's e-mail address you can have a field day with them.  Oh, how much ghey pron spam can one inbox hold?

Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Starring Emma on February 13, 2011, 10:25:15 PM
Go to the section at the library that has all the magazines and take out a subscription card from every magazine in the library.  They're all post paid so just fill them out with their name and address.  Check the box that says "bill me later"  In about two months they'll be getting magazines from Boys Life, Ebony, Bug World, Mother Earth News....
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 13, 2011, 10:57:05 PM
The best revenge won't hurt them or their property--remember, they didn't harm anything besides a snowman--but will really screw with their heads.

Unfortunately, you can't do this one anymore, but back in the day, ping pong balls in the gas tank really screwed with people.  Don't know what you can use these days since they won't fit. 


I was going to suggest that earlier, but I remembered that modern vehicles have the downsized apertures and anti-theft devices in the gas filler tube.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: FreeBorn on February 13, 2011, 10:57:36 PM
The best revenge won't hurt them or their property--remember, they didn't harm anything besides a snowman--but will really screw with their heads.

Unfortunately, you can't do this one anymore, but back in the day, ping pong balls in the gas tank really screwed with people.  Don't know what you can use these days since they won't fit.  Swapping around the plug wires would be good if you can get under the hood.

Dog crap on the doormat is always a good one too...they wipe their feet thinking they're cleaning them off, when in reality...

If you know these people's e-mail address you can have a field day with them.  Oh, how much ghey pron spam can one inbox hold?


A friend of mine runs an automotive shop. He told me about a pretty slick trick he discovered in a customer's gas tank. Apparently this girl must have really irked somebody, she had intermittent car trouble with her New Cadillac, would run fine and then act like it ran out of gas, then be fine again for awhile. Hundreds of dollars later after several trips and no answers from the Cadillac dealer she brought the car to my friend's shop. He was stymied too at first but finally dropped the tank, the one thing the Cadillac service guys hadn't done. What he found in there revealed why things would be o.k. for awhile and then "run out of gas" again.
There was a McDonald's wax paper cheeseburger wrapper in the gas tank. It wasn't hard to put two and two together at that point. Somebody wadded it up and stuck it down the pipe into the tank. Once it was in there it unwadded itself into a flat sheet and wandered around on it's own, apparently now and then it would get sucked up against the sending unit intake screen and block it, then fall away. Pretty slick caper I thought.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: JLO on February 13, 2011, 11:47:25 PM
Fill out catalog requests from online porn stores with their address
Call the mormons and tell them you want to speak to them at their address
Spread fertilizer on their yard in the shape of a body part in the spring.  They will have it forever.

GENIUS! :cheersmate:

You're GOOD!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: dandi on February 14, 2011, 09:26:40 AM
There was a McDonald's wax paper cheeseburger wrapper in the gas tank. It wasn't hard to put two and two together at that point. Somebody wadded it up and stuck it down the pipe into the tank. Once it was in there it unwadded itself into a flat sheet and wandered around on it's own, apparently now and then it would get sucked up against the sending unit intake screen and block it, then fall away. Pretty slick caper I thought.

Classic!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Wineslob on February 14, 2011, 10:10:34 AM
THIS:   http://www.liquidass.com/


works quite well.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 14, 2011, 01:58:43 PM
Dog crap on the doormat is always a good one too...they wipe their feet thinking they're cleaning them off, when in reality...

Put a load of the freshest dog manure you can find into a brown paper lunch bag.  Bring it to said doorstep.  Light it on fire, then ring the doorbell.  Most people will stamp it out with their foot. :pokingpoop:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 14, 2011, 02:37:38 PM


that ain't funny, Gina. Seriously. That is not funny at all.  :p

Bitchslapped. And you'll probably get more from others.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Godot showed up on February 14, 2011, 03:58:57 PM
If you know where they work, take a loaf of Italian bread, tear the end off, slide it down the antenna, let the birds take care of the rest.

Best part?  No evidence at the end of the day.

 :-)

Or you could burn their house down.

That is GREAT!!! H5! I am going to use this one on some neighborhood finks I know.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: TexasCop on February 14, 2011, 05:43:05 PM
Y'all, seriously, please stop talking about messing with mailboxes as a federal crime.  Sure, if you steal mail out of it and use it to steal someone's identity, the Postal Police will come get you.  However, blowing up a mailbox or tearing it up with a baseball bat will likely result in a ticket for misdemeanor damage.  There are no secret federal gestapo police ready to pounce on every torn up mailbox in this country.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Chris_ on February 14, 2011, 06:30:07 PM
Let my dog pee on the driver's seat.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 14, 2011, 09:04:37 PM
Y'all, seriously, please stop talking about messing with mailboxes as a federal crime.  Sure, if you steal mail out of it and use it to steal someone's identity, the Postal Police will come get you.  However, blowing up a mailbox or tearing it up with a baseball bat will likely result in a ticket for misdemeanor damage.  There are no secret federal gestapo police ready to pounce on every torn up mailbox in this country.

Oh hell TC, you done let the dogs out now.  No worries, my days of mailboxing are long gone.  I would probably end up breaking my arm.     :whatever:

My step dad was a postal inspector, he told me that a long time ago, but he told me he had "eyes everywhere" and I believed that. 
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 15, 2011, 02:47:59 AM
Y'all, seriously, please stop talking about messing with mailboxes as a federal crime.  Sure, if you steal mail out of it and use it to steal someone's identity, the Postal Police will come get you.  However, blowing up a mailbox or tearing it up with a baseball bat will likely result in a ticket for misdemeanor damage.  There are no secret federal gestapo police ready to pounce on every torn up mailbox in this country.

so if I put an electrocution device on it to shock these mother's that keep putting their lawncare pamplets and crap on the outside that would be fine?
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: DefiantSix on February 15, 2011, 10:10:25 AM
so if I put an electrocution device on it to shock these mother's that keep putting their lawncare pamplets and crap on the outside that would be fine?

When I worked for Dominoes as a kid, I was a lazy SoB and instead of getting out of the car and walking a block to hang door hangers, I'd pop 'em in the mail boxes.  My manager came down on me like the wrath of God, and I had to go back around, take 'em all OUT of the mailboxes, and go put 'em on the damned doors.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: namvet on February 15, 2011, 10:18:48 AM
boy.....you people are vicious. remind me never to piss off anyone here
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 15, 2011, 10:19:54 AM
boy.....you people are vicious. remind me never to piss off anyone here

why do you think everyone has so many bitchslaps?   we can't get ahold of you so that's our outlet  :whistling:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: namvet on February 15, 2011, 10:22:39 AM
why do you think everyone has so many bitchslaps?   we can't get ahold of you so that's our outlet  :whistling:

I was wondering about that. so if you piss someone off you get a bitch slap????
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 15, 2011, 10:25:52 AM
I was wondering about that. so if you piss someone off you get a bitch slap????


nah, I slap everyone.  It's "Good Morning" to you. :cheersmate:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 15, 2011, 10:26:18 AM
I was wondering about that. so if you piss someone off you get a bitch slap????


Not necessarily.  Here, BS's are given out for just about any reason, if you piss someone off, they will tell you, then BS you.  But, you could be minding your own business,  and someone will come along and BS a whole thread.  It happens.    Or you can always get in a BS fight.  Kinda like food fights, but without the mess to clean up.   :whatever:

But, whatever you do....never EVER EVER bitch about your BS count.  It will go up exponentially after that.  
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 15, 2011, 10:26:22 AM
I was wondering about that. so if you piss someone off you get a bitch slap????


No. Sometimes you get a bitchslap or three just because you're breathing.

Or you request them.

Either way works with me.  :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: debk on February 15, 2011, 10:28:01 AM
I was wondering about that. so if you piss someone off you get a bitch slap????


Most of the bitchslaps are done in fun, unless one whines about them, then they are piled on.

High 5's are given over nice events in someone's life or mentioning another's, quick comments - serious, sarcastic, funny, or good finds on the internet or news.

Don't worry, if you piss someone off...they will tell you. They may still BS you, but you will know if you piss someone off.

Not a lot of subtlety around here, most people are pretty upfront.

Smilies are here for a reason. They express emotion, so it's a good idea to use them to make sure someone knows your intent, and not take what you post differently than what you meant.

Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: namvet on February 15, 2011, 10:48:58 AM
ok im whinnin'. lets have it

did some research here

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MVXStsAc8o[/youtube]
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 15, 2011, 10:51:26 AM
BS for you!  And, for the record, I have had 2 BS's since I responded to you.  See how that works? :-)

Makes me look like a badass.   :rotf:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 15, 2011, 11:04:45 AM
BS for you!  And, for the record, I have had 2 BS's since I responded to you.  See how that works? :-)

Makes me look like a badass.   :rotf:

I've bitchslapped you only once, but I don't remember why. Of course, not remembering why I did anything is my usual defense.  :whistling:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 15, 2011, 12:30:45 PM
I've bitchslapped you only once, but I don't remember why. Of course, not remembering why I did anything is my usual defense.  :whistling:

Well then how do you remember you even BS'd me?   :lmao: :lmao:

More'n likely I was being nice to Thor.   O-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 15, 2011, 04:30:02 PM
Well then how do you remember you even BS'd me?   :lmao: :lmao:

More'n likely I was being nice to Thor.   O-)

Good point. It was probably the Thor thing. Anybody being nice to THAT asshole needs to be THOROUGHLY bitchslapped.

 :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 15, 2011, 06:52:14 PM
Good point. It was probably the Thor thing. Anybody being nice to THAT asshole needs to be THOROUGHLY bitchslapped.

 :-)

I'm WATCHING you!!!
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: IassaFTots on February 15, 2011, 09:02:11 PM
I'm WATCHING you!!!

I ain't done nothin.  Jus sayin........
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 08:00:28 AM
I'm WATCHING you!!!

 :rotf:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 16, 2011, 08:05:18 AM
:rotf:

damn, Eupher,  who took them away?  :lmao:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 08:06:07 AM
damn, Eupher,  who took them away?  :lmao:

Who do you think? Hammer-man, of course!  :mental: 
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 16, 2011, 08:18:11 AM
Who do you think? Hammer-man, of course!  :mental: 
:-)

I may give them back, IF you're nice.......
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 08:24:47 AM
:-)

I may give them back, IF you're nice.......

I'm always nice!  (in a smart-ass kinda way....)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on February 16, 2011, 08:31:31 AM
I'm always nice!  (in a smart-ass kinda way....)

No he isn't!!!!  check out this pm he sent me
Quote
Hey Gina!

Stay away from Thor!!  I'll tell ya more about him later, gonna blackmail him soon with some pictures  :naughty:

btw, you are such a ray of sunshine.  I wake up every morning singing songs about rainbows.   Thanks for that.

 :fuelfire:
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 16, 2011, 08:31:35 AM
I'm always nice!  (in a smart-ass kinda way....)

 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Nahh, just a smart ass
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 08:32:30 AM
No he isn't!!!!  check out this pm he sent me
 :fuelfire:

 :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:

the pictures I have of Thor are so ugly the camera refused to display them.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Thor on February 16, 2011, 08:34:31 AM
No he isn't!!!!  check out this pm he sent me
 :fuelfire:

Ohhh......:puke:

:lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:

the pictures I have of Thor are so ugly the camera refused to display them.

At least I didn't BREAK your camera......
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Godot showed up on February 16, 2011, 09:26:38 AM
Most of the bitchslaps are done in fun, unless one whines about them, then they are piled on.




Dissing football is another BS attractant. Wonderful game, football. King of sports. My word yes.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: njpines on February 16, 2011, 09:44:46 AM
Dissing football is another BS attractant. Wonderful game, football. King of sports. My word yes.

BS for lack of sincerity!


 :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 09:51:23 AM
BS for lack of sincerity!


 :-)

football? Ain't that that sport in which a bunch of fans riot, loot, and plunder the stadium? Or is that the one where the morons drink a bunch of beer out in the parking lot, go in the stadium, take their shirts off in sub-zero weather, and paint their faces with makeup to look, well, manly?

I get 'em all confused......
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Godot showed up on February 16, 2011, 09:51:57 AM
BS for lack of sincerity!


 :-)

I knew someone would bite! Thanks for the nice even 50, nj!*








*Which is, I'm fairly sure, about to disappear.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 09:53:28 AM
I knew someone would bite! Thanks for the nice even 50, nj!*








*Which is, I'm fairly sure, about to disappear.

not by me, but I did alter the mathematical proportion by h5ing you.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Godot showed up on February 16, 2011, 09:56:33 AM
not by me, but I did alter the mathematical proportion by h5ing you.

S'okay, I did a screengrab (it was the 100/50 I wanted). And H5--I mean BS--I mean--shit, Euph, you've got me seriously confused on what constitutes a good thing for you these days.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: njpines on February 16, 2011, 10:04:53 AM
I knew someone would bite! Thanks for the nice even 50, nj!*








*Which is, I'm fairly sure, about to disappear.

DAMMIT!!!   :thatsright:


 :rotf:

Hi5 for the reel-in, BTW
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 11:09:18 AM
S'okay, I did a screengrab (it was the 100/50 I wanted). And H5--I mean BS--I mean--shit, Euph, you've got me seriously confused on what constitutes a good thing for you these days.

just keep thinking those good thoughts and you'll arrive at the right decision.

WELCOME.

WELCOME TO ZOMBO.COM

EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

ON ZOMBO.COM.....

 :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: njpines on February 16, 2011, 11:13:56 AM
football? Ain't that that sport in which a bunch of fans riot, loot, and plunder the stadium? Or is that the one where the morons drink a bunch of beer out in the parking lot, go in the stadium, take their shirts off in sub-zero weather, and paint their faces with makeup to look, well, manly?

I get 'em all confused......

BS because you forgot the batteries to whip at the other team's fans . . .


 :-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Eupher on February 16, 2011, 11:22:08 AM
BS because you forgot the batteries to whip at the other team's fans . . .


 :-)

thank God - a bitchslap. It had been several hours since my last one and I was getting a little dizzy.
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: JLO on March 15, 2011, 12:20:23 AM
Ok, someone gets out of their car, comes on to your property at 11:30pm and smashes the snowman your kids built. You get a partial plate but know who's car it is (because they live down the street from you). What do you do?  (give me funny and mean) :popcorn:



So what revenge did you decide on, or are you still waiting, Gina?  You received so many good ideas  :-)

Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: Gina on March 15, 2011, 09:12:35 AM
Well I didn't do it but I heard that their prized hedges along the sidewalk got sprayed with Roundup.  It's just a rumor though so it might not be true. O-)
Title: Re: What do you do?
Post by: JLO on March 15, 2011, 10:32:49 PM
Well I didn't do it but I heard that their prized hedges along the sidewalk got sprayed with Roundup.  It's just a rumor though so it might not be true. O-)

Aha!  That could be done very discretely, indeed!  You got a lot of VERY funny ideas!   :lmao: