The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 09:43:07 PM

Title: I've been fired!
Post by: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 09:43:07 PM
I had my five year evaluation today, and apparently I am not living up to my contractual agreements in quality of performance.
As evidenced by:
1.  I rip off bandaids.  "Do you rip bandaids off everybody?  That hurts you know!"  "Now my bump hurts worse because you ripped off my bandaids"
2.  I steal.  For example, buying take out chicken and refusing to let starving child in car seat eat in the vehicle on the way home.  "I am staaaaaaaaaaaarving!  You stole my chicken!" 
3.  I stifle creativity, exhibit A:  Refusal to allow said child to play outside in a snow storm wearing orange socks and flip flops, hawaiian print shorts and a sweatshirt.
4.  I am inflexible:  "When I am 18 and you are dead and its my house I will stay home and watch cartoons all day whenever I want"

The list of my shortcomings goes on and on, apparently in the five years I have had this position of Mama I have failed miserably.  I was told this evening that I was no longer needed to be Mama, and that if I wanted I could be Grandma, but that she  was going to be trying to find a new mama.
 :bawl:

Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 09:45:21 PM

I got a 4.6 out of 5.
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 09:49:57 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."
oh I like that idea!
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Duke Nukum on March 31, 2008, 09:50:10 PM
Kids and animals are the most demanding bosses which is why W. C. Fields cautioned against working for them.
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 09:51:14 PM

I am down to a 5.2 . . .

 :-) :-) :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: ReardenSteel on March 31, 2008, 09:54:20 PM
Made me think of this old toon...

http://calvinethobbes.free.fr/english/c_elections.html

Not to worry. As soon as someone else tries to run for "mom", the child will come back to their sences. (such as they have them.

Best.
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Chris_ on March 31, 2008, 09:56:20 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 09:57:59 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 10:02:17 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Pretty much!!

<---------HILARIOUS Avatar you got there shadie!!!
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 10:04:07 PM

I think that she is pretty much unbribable, at this point.

Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Chris_ on March 31, 2008, 10:21:11 PM
I had my five year evaluation today, and apparently I am not living up to my contractual agreements in quality of performance.
As evidenced by:
1.  I rip off bandaids.  "Do you rip bandaids off everybody?  That hurts you know!"  "Now my bump hurts worse because you ripped off my bandaids"
2.  I steal.  For example, buying take out chicken and refusing to let starving child in car seat eat in the vehicle on the way home.  "I am staaaaaaaaaaaarving!  You stole my chicken!" 
3.  I stifle creativity, exhibit A:  Refusal to allow said child to play outside in a snow storm wearing orange socks and flip flops, hawaiian print shorts and a sweatshirt.
4.  I am inflexible:  "When I am 18 and you are dead and its my house I will stay home and watch cartoons all day whenever I want"

The list of my shortcomings goes on and on, apparently in the five years I have had this position of Mama I have failed miserably.  I was told this evening that I was no longer needed to be Mama, and that if I wanted I could be Grandma, but that she  was going to be trying to find a new mama.
 :bawl:


Easy solution...next time you are asked for something, tell them you've been fired.  They'll have to find someone else to do ...whatever...  You no longer work there.     :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 10:26:54 PM
i am actually enjoying my forced retirement from mamahood
it will give me some time to look at options, polish the old resume, spend some time working on me...take a little breather...
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Chris_ on March 31, 2008, 10:36:24 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Pretty much!!

<---------HILARIOUS Avatar you got there shadie!!!

Thanks.... can you believe the hate that I am feeling from this crowd?  :p
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 10:46:48 PM
Yep! :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: asdf2231 on March 31, 2008, 10:59:45 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)

(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/Blogstuff/Vampcow.png)

(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/smileys%20and%20fun/cats/289959688_8fc76e3cda_s.jpg)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 11:02:55 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)

(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/Blogstuff/Vampcow.png)

(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/smileys%20and%20fun/cats/289959688_8fc76e3cda_s.jpg)

the cows are real.

Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: asdf2231 on March 31, 2008, 11:13:40 PM
Quote
the cows are real.

But not the silly vampire cows!

Or is there a story there that requires me to apologise to you and then be afraid of Moos in the dark?
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 11:53:23 PM
Quote
the cows are real.

But not the silly vampire cows!

Or is there a story there that requires me to apologise to you and then be afraid of Moos in the dark?
we've talked about this, you keep scaring him with the cow pictures and you are dealing with the nightmares!
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on April 01, 2008, 05:33:02 AM
Think of it as a temporary layoff, not a firing.  You'll be back at work as soon as the Boss reaches ROP on sammiches.

 :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: jtyangel on April 01, 2008, 05:46:23 AM
My almost 4 year old fires his parents regularly. He says he wants us to leave 'his house'. When either of us goes to put on our coat or shoes and says, "Ok, we'll see you later then." He starts crying "no" and barricades the door.  :evillaugh:
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: bijou on April 01, 2008, 06:59:44 AM
So if you're fired can you claim welfare payments?  :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: VivisMom on April 01, 2008, 07:33:09 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Chris_ on April 01, 2008, 07:35:35 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
When I was in high school, my mother tried going on strike.  It didn't last very long...she was very OCD about keeping everything in the house in perfect condition.  We easily out-lasted her.   :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: VivisMom on April 01, 2008, 08:01:15 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
When I was in high school, my mother tried going on strike.  It didn't last very long...she was very OCD about keeping everything in the house in perfect condition.  We easily out-lasted her.   :-)

That might get me (eventually-I'm not really OCD about cleaning), but I think when the kid ran out of food or clean clothes, I'd be rehired.  :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: asdf2231 on April 01, 2008, 09:46:16 AM
Quote
the cows are real.

But not the silly vampire cows!

Or is there a story there that requires me to apologise to you and then be afraid of Moos in the dark?
we've talked about this, you keep scaring him with the cow pictures and you are dealing with the nightmares!

I'm starting to wonder if there isn't some "X-Files" back story that involved bovine abductors and an exam table...  :devious:

(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/shortbus/1.jpg)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Chris_ on April 01, 2008, 11:30:24 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
When I was in high school, my mother tried going on strike.  It didn't last very long...she was very OCD about keeping everything in the house in perfect condition.  We easily out-lasted her.   :-)

That might get me (eventually-I'm not really OCD about cleaning), but I think when the kid ran out of food or clean clothes, I'd be rehired.  :-)
My mother was on strike less than 24 hours before she just couldn't stand it anymore.  There were a couple of dirty glasses in the kitchen sink and the sheets had not been ironed.   :uhsure:
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: MrsSmith on April 01, 2008, 08:01:18 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Yes it is...but then you get to become a Grandma, and your grandkids get SO even for you.   :-)
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: dutch508 on April 01, 2008, 08:46:02 PM
I had my five year evaluation today, and apparently I am not living up to my contractual agreements in quality of performance.
As evidenced by:
1.  I rip off bandaids.  "Do you rip bandaids off everybody?  That hurts you know!"  "Now my bump hurts worse because you ripped off my bandaids"
2.  I steal.  For example, buying take out chicken and refusing to let starving child in car seat eat in the vehicle on the way home.  "I am staaaaaaaaaaaarving!  You stole my chicken!" 
3.  I stifle creativity, exhibit A:  Refusal to allow said child to play outside in a snow storm wearing orange socks and flip flops, hawaiian print shorts and a sweatshirt.
4.  I am inflexible:  "When I am 18 and you are dead and its my house I will stay home and watch cartoons all day whenever I want"

The list of my shortcomings goes on and on, apparently in the five years I have had this position of Mama I have failed miserably.  I was told this evening that I was no longer needed to be Mama, and that if I wanted I could be Grandma, but that she  was going to be trying to find a new mama.
 :bawl:




Two words:

Military Pre-school
Title: Re: I've been fired!
Post by: Lacarnut on April 01, 2008, 08:51:17 PM
A couple of days of vienna sausages & sardines will get you re-hired.