The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on July 18, 2010, 09:28:17 PM
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As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.
And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.
Which isn't going to be small change.
There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.
For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.
And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).
I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.
I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.
The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:
Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest
I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.
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I would try Farm Show, Countryside, and Backwoods Home; bill them as mammal repellant, and thus of some valuable use in protecting stored grain and feed from the depredations of rodents.
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:lmao:
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As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.
And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.
Which isn't going to be small change.
There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.
For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.
And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).
I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.
I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.
The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:
Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest
I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.
I don't see Science Digest in there, you poet has found feet on Mermaids.!!
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You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.
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I would try Farm Show, Countryside, and Backwoods Home; bill them as mammal repellant, and thus of some valuable use in protecting stored grain and feed from the depredations of rodents.
Hey, Backwoods Home is a great magazine! The rather conservative alternative to Mother Earth News. I really don't want to open the current issue and find Piggy's insane, boring nonsense.
Cindie
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You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.
I'm thinking that you'd limit it to the gay mags, as CPig's "poetry" would turn straights gay. :gay2:
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I tried to friend her on Face Book but she didnt take the bait :lmao:
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You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.
I'm not having much luck finding the current addresses of the publications I mentioned above (not yours, sir, but the ones I listed), other than for the Watchtower; I have a portfolio of the California piggy primitive's love poems--eleven of them--and so I'm sending them to the Watchtower, to see if they bite.
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Don't forget MAD Magazine, Frank.
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Out Magazine -- definitely find a market there...
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Hey, Backwoods Home is a great magazine! The rather conservative alternative to Mother Earth News. I really don't want to open the current issue and find Piggy's insane, boring nonsense.
Cindie
Sure is, I gave my sis and bro-in-law a gift subscription at Christmas to wean them off the hippy-dippy bullshit. You might like 'Countryside and Small Stock Journal,' it's pretty good too, a bit slicker and not quite as conservative compared to BWH, but not a bunch of Leftie feel-good BS with a few crumbs of useful info like 'Mother Earth News.'
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Dog's Life
Horse Manure Monthly
Furry Living
Pron Appetite
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High Times
This way they are so stoned that they don't know the difference.
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The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:
Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest
I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.
Ummm....aren't all of these very very "select" magazines? Except for The Watchtower? :confused:
:tongue:
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After reading Subway Cat's recent musings:
PSTD: Living because someone else was mean to you.
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Frank, you are one sick sick mother effer.
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Frank, you are one sick sick mother effer.
Well now, at a 15% commission, and I figure the Watchtower would be willing to pay $500 for each poem, and there's eleven erotic poems. Fifteen percent of $5500 isn't just beans.
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As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.
And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.
Which isn't going to be small change.
There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.
For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.
And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).
I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.
I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.
The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:
Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest
I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.
Frank...most of thoses mags are out of business now...
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Frank...most of thoses mags are out of business now...
Oh.
Well, at least the Watchtower's still in business.
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Oh.
Well, at least the Watchtower's still in business.
Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......
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Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......
Well, with a circulation of 40,000,000 per month, and printed in 183 languages, the Watch Tower could make the poetess California piggy primitive famous.
Internationally famous.
The poetess California piggy primitive would have a larger notoriety than just among half a dozen denizens of a darkened coffee-house in an isolated valley in California.
In fact, since the poetess California piggy primitive's work is so.....ground-breaking, so.....nouveau, so.....avant-garde, so.....revolutionary, so.....innovative, so.....ahead of its time, when dealing with the Watch Tower magazine, I'm going to not only insist upon $500 per poem, but also that the poetess California piggy primitive be featured on the front cover, shown in her diaphanous gown.
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Well, with a circulation of 40,000,000 per month, and printed in 183 languages, the Watch Tower could make the poetess California piggy primitive famous.
Internationally famous.
The poetess California piggy primitive would have a larger notoriety than just among half a dozen denizens of a darkened coffee-house in an isolated valley in California.
In fact, since the poetess California piggy primitive's work is so.....ground-breaking, so.....nouveau, so.....avant-garde, so.....revolutionary, so.....innovative, so.....ahead of its time, when dealing with the Watch Tower magazine, I'm going to not only insist upon $500 per poem, but also that the poetess California piggy primitive be featured on the front cover, shown in her diaphanous gown.
Going to really have to shrink that picture in order to fit it on the cover.... :uhsure:
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Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......
Not for me it isn't.
Answer the door in a white shirt and tie, saying, "Hi; :-) I'm Elder [DefiantSix] with the Church of Jesus Christ of"....
Funny, that's usually as far as I get before they light their hair on fire and run from my doorstep as if the devil himself was after them. :confused:
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Not for me it isn't.
Answer the door in a white shirt and tie, saying, "Hi; :-) I'm Elder [DefiantSix] with the Church of Jesus Christ of"....
Funny, that's usually as far as I get before they light their hair on fire and run from my doorstep as if the devil himself was after them. :confused:
All I do is tell them I am Catholic.
It works quite well.... :-)
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Not for me it isn't.
Answer the door in a white shirt and tie, saying, "Hi; :-) I'm Elder [DefiantSix] with the Church of Jesus Christ of"....
Funny, that's usually as far as I get before they light their hair on fire and run from my doorstep as if the devil himself was after them. :confused:
I'm thinking handing out a copy of one of CPig's poems oughta do the trick just as fast AND you would't have to get dressed up either.
Don't forget to give Frank his 15% though. :-)
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All I do is tell them I am Catholic.
It works quite well.... :-)
That works for me, too.
Every time.
Of course, I really shouldn't have to say anything, as when I first open the door, immediately behind me is a medieval Ukrainian icon of St. Michael the Archangel, the Warrior of God.
But if they're persistent enough to come inside, on the living room walls, on which hang 62 custom-framed portraits of English kings and queens--the place is an art gallery, I've been accused of--and some other miscellaneous portraiture, right next to that of Charles de Gaulle, there's the once-standard Catholic depiction of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, staring at them.
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That works for me, too.
Every time.
Of course, I really shouldn't have to say anything, as when I first open the door, immediately behind me is a medieval Ukrainian icon of St. Michael the Archangel, the Warrior of God.
But if they're persistent enough to come inside, on the living room walls, on which hang 62 custom-framed portraits of English kings and queens--the place is an art gallery, I've been accused of--and some other miscellaneous portraiture, right next to that of Charles de Gaulle, there's the once-standard Catholic depiction of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, staring at them.
:hi5:
We haven't had any since we moved to this house....I guess they aren't willing to walk all the way down the drive.
Either that, or they came one time when I wasn't here, and M told 'em if they came back, they'd be met with a gun. :whatever:
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:hi5:
We haven't had any since we moved to this house....I guess they aren't willing to walk all the way down the drive.
Either that, or they came one time when I wasn't here, and M told 'em if they came back, they'd be met with a gun. :whatever:
What Pray tell is wrong with at least reading their magazines, just give them a couple of bucks ,take their tracks, say you are busy close the door.
Interesting reading there. These people are at least allot like the Mormons on their bikes that were allways the first people to welcome us to a new town.
I found it most interesting that when I was at the Holocaust Museum in DC that one whole section was devoted to the Witnesses that came very close to intire annihilation in Europe.
I bought some of the key chains that had a triangle of different colors for Jews, Gypsies, Gays and in the Museum store . On the back there was engraved " Never Forget"
What did these people do to deserve the gas chambers ?? WHO will be be NEXT.?
AHA-- perhaps the Christians, seems the Muslims are really on a roll to destroy that faith.
When we ignore the people that in the past see history repeating itself today, we become blind to the fact that even if we do not agree with the doctrine, we give a nod to the Muslims that want to destroy them also.
Puts us in the same place that Christians were in when they advocated destroying the Jews and on Easter and Christmas then went to celebrate the birth and death of the King of the Jews.
Insanity, remember the Hail Marys, had she come back to life in that time she would have been the first to go into the ovens. Then Joseph and Jesus himself.
Yes frank, I am having a bad day.
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Sure is, I gave my sis and bro-in-law a gift subscription at Christmas to wean them off the hippy-dippy bullshit. You might like 'Countryside and Small Stock Journal,' it's pretty good too, a bit slicker and not quite as conservative compared to BWH, but not a bunch of Leftie feel-good BS with a few crumbs of useful info like 'Mother Earth News.'
Thanks for the info DAT and Cindie. I have been buying the occasional Mother Earth News, if they have a subject I am interested in, but the huggy feelie stuff makes me ick. I will have to look for BWH.
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I find a string of profanities, giving 'em the stink eye and pointing at the Absolutely NO Soliciting sign on the front door works every time. :-)