The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: terry on April 23, 2010, 08:23:58 AM
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bamademo (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Wed Apr-21-10 10:33 PM
Original message
For the first time in my life I have to be responsible
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My father recently died after a long illness. My little Mother is not all there due to stroke and Alzheimers. She's not that far gone and doesn't require nursing home care yet. Our estate is not alot but in 6 figures, however it I put her in the nursing home the State of Alabama will take all the assets so that puts me in the position of being the oldest divorced sibling and I have to take care of her. IN order to protect my inheritnce, I have to take care of her for at least three years or Bama willl come after me for Medicaid. I've never had to be this responsible in my life. I've raised kittens and puppies but not a Mom. I'm so freaked out.
Anyone else been through this?
bamademo (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Wed Apr-21-10 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Unless the new Medicaid system changes, they can go back 3 years...
And get my assests. So in case I want to lose an 6 figure estate, yes, I have to take care of her. I can put her in assisted living for Alzheimers for 1 or 2 of those years If I have too but it will cost $$.
I'm selfish but I've lived a relativety carefree lifestyle since the 70's. I was married and had live in relationships but I've shunned heavey duty resposponsibility. Now I have it and it's freaky. I don't want it but if I want the Estate, I've got it.
Book Lover (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr-22-10 02:51 AM
Response to Original message
27. Um, it's not your inheritance; it's your mother's property.
Time to sit down, stop freaking out and grow the hell up. Lesson #1 for today for you is stop using the possessive pronoun for everything that you yourself have not purchased or made with your own hands. "Our estate"? No, it's your mother's property and belongings.
By the way, this is the talking to you've apparently needed for some time.
Link (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=8192699&mesg_id=8192699)
He/she gets called on the unbelievable selfishness and does not return to the thread.
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bamademo
I'm selfish but I've lived a relativety carefree lifestyle since the 70's.
... and you're a member on Skin's island, too. Boy, what were the chances?
.
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Wow, this person sounds like my brother.
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Another post by this lovely person...
Raise your kids right folks, or this could be you. If you don't raise them right be very careful who you give power of attorney to.
bamademo (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Apr-13-10 08:41 PM
Original message
Is there a forum of DI for dealing with Alzheimers patients?
My Dad recently died and Mom has about 5th stage Alzheimers. I have to move in and take care of her to get the house ready to go on the market. She argues about everything with me and says it's my house and you can't do anything without my permission. I reply yes I can and there's nothing you can do about it. I shouldn't engage with arguements with her but she was always so controlling and I never got along with her. I have to keep her out of the nursing home for 3 years or the state can get all our assests if I put her in a nursing home. She's not bad enough that she has to go into one right no but she requires looking after. I have Power of Attorney. I'm trying to repair the house and relandscape to put the house on the market and she fights me every step of the way. She keeps saying it's her house and I can't do a damn thing without her permission. I acutally can. Lost my patience with her and told her she had Alzheimers and I could do whatever I wanted. Really upset her and made her cry. I'm a bitch from hell but I don't care. I've never really gotten along with her and I don't give a shit what she wants anymore. I'm sacrafising my life right now to move in and take care of all this stuff but I'm sick of her arguements.
Feeling like Biggest Bitch in World. But I have this unreasonable anger towards her and it was there before the Alzheimers. Pretentious Southern Belle controlling bitch type mother.
link (http://http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=9330890)
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I saw that and read both threads. Man, you really gotta be the lowest of the low for all the Dummies to not even share a kind word.
What trash.
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I've shunned heavey duty resposponsibility.
Have you heard? Those teabaggers misspell ALL their signs!!!!!!1111!!!!
If bamademo thinks that she's a bitch from hell, she should meet karma.
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Any surprises that a DUmmy would act this way?
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Wow, this person sounds like my brother.
I have an old friend who's not much of one anymore. He has/had exactly the same attitude. Before both his parents passed, he constantly referred to "his inheritance". Turns out his older sister got the estate. Unfortunately she gave him a portion of the estate which he promptly blew in 3 years..........................over 500K. The asshole had the gall to call me on the phone and tell me his "woes" of how he blew all the money on a money stealing whore, and could I send him 20 bucks till the end of the month?
Guess what my answer was.
We haven't spoken since.
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I love it when the mask slips fully away from the little craven bastards.
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That DUmmy is demonstrating the attitude democrat politicians have toward the American public.
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How can anyone act like that is beyond me
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How can anyone act like that is beyond me
Entitlement Syndrome. Its where the Entitlement Zombies will come from when the checks stop coming.
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Of course, not all of them are put off by the poster's behavior. Some offered condolences and support. Others are wishy-washy, trying not to offend the poster.
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Another member of the sex, love, and dope crowd checks in.
Southern Belle controlling type my ass, that poor old woman did the best she could to make something out of that stupid assed DUmmie of a daughter and now that's who she's left with to take care of her.
Wouldn't that be great? Lose your husband while losing your mind, watching one of your own children come in and have you be the least of their concern, knowing that when you are gone all that you have worked for will be nothing more than a source of quick money to a do nothing leech.
It's a wonder this poor woman has not swallowed the barrel of a gun...
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Another member of the sex, love, and dope crowd checks in.
Southern Belle controlling type my ass, that poor old woman did the best she could to make something out of that stupid assed DUmmie of a daughter and now that's who she's left with to take care of her.
Wouldn't that be great? Lose your husband while losing your mind, watching one of your own children come in and have you be the least of their concern, knowing that when you are gone all that you have worked for will be nothing more than a source of quick money to a do nothing leech.
It's a wonder this poor woman has not swallowed the barrel of a gun...
...and I'll bet hard earned cash that this daughter was given the most by her parents.
I know from experience. The one that gets the most wants/expects the most for the least amount of effort.
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...and I'll bet hard earned cash that this daughter was given the most by her parents.
I know from experience. The one that gets the most wants/expects the most for the least amount of effort.
Yep, I have one of those myself. I am honestly hoping that he's not the one who's left to care for me or his mother when we're old.
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I have often wondered how my brother and I turned out so different. My Mom explained it to me not so long ago. Both of my brothers were/are libs but my brother that died had drive and actually wanted to take care of himself. He decided one day he wanted to live in New York so he packed up, moved from Omaha, NE and stayed at the YMCA until he got a job (which he got with in a week). He got an apartment and moved in a few weeks later. He borrowed some money from my Mom for the deposit and first months rent and paid it back with in a year. He was successful until he married his wife. It went down hill about a year after he married her.
My other brother has always felt entitled. He just turned 49 in January and lives with my dad. He does work but has no desire to "move up" in the company (which he has worked for for at least 16 years), to get a new job or better himself. He did go to college and borrowed over 60k and does nothing with the degree. His intent was to go into photography so he bought all of the equipment which was expensive as hell (on credit) yet he has not earned one red cent from any of his photography (he graduated several years ago). He gives excuse after excuse why he can't do it. He hasn't touched his camera in well over a year. He refused to do weddings or other events because it isn't what he wanted to do with his photography. He wants to make coffee table books. Who in the heck is going to buy a coffee table book from someone who is an unknown? He also likes to do shocking stuff, like the Piss Christ crap. He idolized that guy. When he came to my house for Christmas he admitted that he had no self esteem and he wished he had done more with his life. This is what I think has happened to DU. For the most part the majority of them are like my brother (or worse) and have no self esteem at all. Everything is someone else's fault and they never take responsibility for any of their actions. My brother charged all of his camera equipment knowing he was going to file bankruptcy. He saw no problem with doing that. After all, the big bad CC companies gave him all that credit so it was their fault. He was really upset when he found he couldn't file on his student loans. He borrowed more than he needed, he blew what he didn't use for school. He has nothing to show for it. He did just get a "new" (new to him but used) car. It's an SUV. I had to laugh at him (and it did out loud) as he was the one who told me that everyone should be forced to drive cars that get over a certain gas millage and his SUV doesn't come close. My step-dad had to co-sign for him. He is 49 years old and needed a co-signer.
So anyway, back to the intent of this post. I asked my Mom why he turned out the way he did. My Mom got pregnant when she was 16 and had to get married. She said she grew up right along with my brother. She made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was letting my grandma (my Dad's mom) take over in a lot of instances. My grandma would bribe my brother to do everything. She also tried it with my other brother and me but by then my Mom had wised up and put a stop to it. My grandma would then do it behind my Mom's back. My grandma kind of took my brother over and acted like he was her son. If my brother didn't want to do something she either bribed him or gave an excuse for him. He got all of his money from my grandma and he never had to do anything for it. My Mom doesn't completely blame my grandma, she said she screwed up with him a lot. She admits that my brother is not "normal".
The attitude from the OP in this DU thread sounds like it could be written by my brother. He wouldn't even recognize that he was being a "bitch" like the OP did. The line between right and wrong is that blurred for him. He actually is a nice person but is so self absorbed and screwed up that the average person can't over look it to see that he means well. I can't see it most of the time because his other personality traits are overwhelming. I think I have said this before, if he was not my brother I would not choose to be around him or even know him.
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That is probably one of the best posts I have seen in a long time.
I was :popcorn: the whole way through.
So its Granny's fault.
:banghead:
Just kidding.
Grandparents are inclined to spoil grandkids, so that situation was messed up from the start.
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That is probably one of the best posts I have seen in a long time.
I was :popcorn: the whole way through.
So its Granny's fault.
:banghead:
Just kidding.
Grandparents are inclined to spoil grandkids, so that situation was messed up from the start.
You don't know my grandma, she is another one that would take more words than I want to type to explain. I guarantee you that you have never met anyone like her before. She uses money to either bribe or punish. Back when they used to have party lines she would listen to what the neighbors would talk about then call other neighbors and tell them. Think Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched and take her times 10, throw in some mental disability and you have my grandma.
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Wow.
How did you turn out so well?
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Wow.
How did you turn out so well?
Ha very funny.
My grandma didn't basically raise me like she did my brother.
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:innocent:
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I feel really sorry for the mother in this story. Alzheimers is a horrible disease and her daughter is definitely not fit to care for her. My grandfather suffered with this for 10 years before he died. He went from being the nicest person in the world to a combative angry man who no longer resembled his former self. Of course, he couldn't help it. He was really no longer there. My parents cared for him for years, and finally had to put him in an alzheimers unit because they could no longer physically handle him. Broke my dad's heart to have to do it.
Imagine this scenario with an angry bitch of a daughter who has already claimed what she mistakenly thinks is her inheiritance. I don't understand these people. Also, I thought all DUmmies wanted to tax inheiritance at 100%. Their claim is that children did nothing to earn it, so why should they get the wealth? DUmmie should practice what she preaches.
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I'm sacrafising my life right now to move in and take care of all this stuff but I'm sick of her arguements.
And how many years of her life did she SACRIFICE (see DUmmy I know how to spell that word) for your ingrate butt?
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Funny, I was always led to believe that the surviving spouse is always first in line, regardless. Such as it was with my father--what he had left (and he took quite a beating financially in 2007-09) went to his wife. I was happy just to be there with the rest of the family to remember him and say goodbye.
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DUmmy bamademo is a vicious snake. I hope when her mother dies there's a thorough autopsy. The chance her death will be from natural causes sounds slim.
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Funny, I was always led to believe that the surviving spouse is always first in line, regardless. Such as it was with my father--what he had left (and he took quite a beating financially in 2007-09) went to his wife. I was happy just to be there with the rest of the family to remember him and say goodbye.
Even in the original Plymouth Colony wives (widows) were apparently given at least a third of the estate/property. It was their due.
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How sad. My mother and I dont't get along face to face (we do better on the phone) but I would never treat my mother like this. You never treat flesh and blood like that.
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What a bitch!!!
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There's an abortion I could have supported.
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There's an abortion I could have supported.
retroactively.
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retroactively.
:agree: