The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on October 13, 2009, 08:52:59 PM
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So...
...I buy a microwave sandwhich of the typical variety. You know, the ones that say "Microwave for 5 minutes then allow 3 days to cool".
Well, in addition to these instructions the last line says, "Fold sandwhich halves together and enjoy."
"Enjoy"?
What if I don't enjoy? What if I call the 1-800-Y-WE-SUCK comment line and say, "I didn't enjoy it." Are they going to tell me, "That's because you didn't follow the directions.
Why is the onus suddenly on me?
This shit keeps me up a night, man.
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Maybe they were talking about yur threesome when they said fold the two sammich halves and enjoy.... :naughty:
....these are the types of things that plague my mind.
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Did I kill snuggle's thread? :thatsright:
Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
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Did I kill snuggle's thread? :thatsright:
Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
Ha! Yes I remember those Swanson pot pies. I remember the days before microwaves, when it took 50 full minutes to cook one in the regular oven, then it would scald you if you even tried to eat it without it cooling for 15 - 20 minutes. How did we ever survive without the microwaver devise.
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Ha! Yes I remember those Swanson pot pies. I remember the days before microwaves, when it took 50 full minutes to cook one in the regular oven, then it would scald you if you even tried to eat it without it cooling for 15 - 20 minutes. How did we ever survive without the microwaver devise.
I think it taught us patience. I remember full meals of leftovers being cooked on the stovetop or in the oven. Sometimes you had to wait more than 45 seconds to eat! :p
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Yes and then we had to actually do dishes and clean up the kitchen instead of just throwing out the wrapper. I don't really miss that.
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Yes and then we had to actually do dishes and clean up the kitchen instead of just throwing out the wrapper. I don't really miss that.
True that. :-)
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Did I kill snuggle's thread? :thatsright:
Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
I just had 2 pot pies for dinner. delicious. had to blow on every molten bite.
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I just had 2 pot pies for dinner. delicious. had to blow on every molten bite.
They never seem to cool off do they?
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Did I kill snuggle's thread? :thatsright:
Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
Which is why to this day I refuse to eat one. One to many of those were served to us as a kid.
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Which is why to this day I refuse to eat one. One to many of those were served to us as a kid.
Try Marie Callenda's.....her chicken pot pies are great....way better than the Swanson ones we ate as kids....
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Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:
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Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:
The other half eats them for lunch during the winter. Personally, I prefer Marie's chicken and noodles... (oink, oink :-))
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Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:
I already had one
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So...
...I buy a microwave sandwhich of the typical variety. You know, the ones that say "Microwave for 5 minutes then allow 3 days to cool".
Well, in addition to these instructions the last line says, "Fold sandwhich halves together and enjoy."
"Enjoy"?
What if I don't enjoy? What if I call the 1-800-Y-WE-SUCK comment line and say, "I didn't enjoy it." Are they going to tell me, "That's because you didn't follow the directions.
Why is the onus suddenly on me?
This shit keeps me up a night, man.
Why doesn't Google Maps have an "avoid ghetto" option?
Is it really safe to sign an e-mail to your boss, "Regards" when T and G are so close together?
Why don't obituaries tell you HOW someone died? It'd be a lot more interesting.
Why do you like all the songs on your iPod, unless it's on shuffle, then it's about 1 in every 15 songs?
Why are school zones 20 mph? That's like optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.
What would happen if you ran over a ninja?
Why are you asking ME these stupid questions?
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I used to wonder why 7-11's had a locking door. I don't anymore. This summer, we had a power outage. The poor 7-11 dude had to guard the store by locking the door, and yelling "We No Open!"
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What about that thing on the package that says "Open Here"? What I if I want to go to another room and open it?
(H/T, George Carlin)
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Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:
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Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:
Do they still say "Do not use while in the shower", or was that hair dryers?
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What about that thing on the package that says "Open Here"? What I if I want to go to another room and open it?
(H/T, George Carlin)
...another sketch from George Carlin, from going through a drive-thru window (fast food, bank, etc.)
"Have a nice day, sir."
"WTF??? What if I've just had 5 nice days in a row, and don't ****** want another one? Now what? You've put all this pressure on me to have another nice day. What if I don't want to?"
:lmao:
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Do they still say "Do not use while in the shower", or was that hair dryers?
I think it was boom boxes.
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...another sketch from George Carlin, from going through a drive-thru window (fast food, bank, etc.)
"Have a nice day, sir."
"WTF??? What if I've just had 5 nice days in a row, and don't ****** want another one? Now what? You've put all this pressure on me to have another nice day. What if I don't want to?"
:lmao:
I'm due for a shitty day!!!!
And on that subject....
....I'm going to take a sh*t! Well don't take one of mine! I only have two left and the weekend is coming up! Take a sh*t? Don't you leave a sh*t?
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"Snot - the original rubber cement."
"A house is nothing but a big pile of stuff with a lid on it. You have to put a lock on your house. Why? Well, when you're out buying more stuff for your house, you don't want them to steal the stuff you already have. Why is it they steal only the 'good' stuff?"
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Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:
Ask my ex-wife....... :loser:
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Ask my ex-wife....... :loser:
I have to admit I have frequently burned an ear or my forehead over the years with a curling iron....not because I don't know that it's hot.....but because I'm a klutz and lack coordination.. :thatsright:
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I have to admit I have frequently burned an ear or my forehead over the years with a curling iron....not because I don't know that it's hot.....but because I'm a klutz and lack coordination.. :thatsright:
You sure it ain't because your hair's on fire? Red hair an' all....
:blowkiss:
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You sure it ain't because your hair's on fire? Red hair an' all....
:blowkiss:
red hair just fires up the temper......just ask the other half.
We're snarling around here today....big time. I think it's a combination of we are both tired, busy with work, and the damn continual rain. :therock:
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What would happen if you ran over a ninja?
Are these real ninjas or DU ninjas?
Why is there braille on drive up ATM's?
Most important...................
Maybe threesome when they said fold the two sammich halves and enjoy.... :naughty:
....these are the types of things that plague my mind.
DISCUSS!!!!!!!!
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We're snarling around here today....big time. I think it's a combination of we are both tired, busy with work, and the damn continual rain. :therock:
Have you tried screwing?
That usually helps.
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What's with this sign?
(http://www.victorystore.com/signs/property_management/images/slow_children_at_play_sign.jpg)
Does it mean there are retarded children in the area?
*Yes. I'm going to Hell now.
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What's with this sign?
(http://www.victorystore.com/signs/property_management/images/slow_children_at_play_sign.jpg)
Does it mean there are retarded children in the area?
*Yes. I'm going to Hell now.
I have asked my wife that question....and gotten "The Look" in return.
Then again, one of my favorite TV ad tag lines is, "Nothing beats a Toyota". I take it literally. :-)
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I have asked my wife that question....and gotten "The Look" in return.
Great minds....
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What's with this sign?
(http://www.victorystore.com/signs/property_management/images/slow_children_at_play_sign.jpg)
Does it mean there are retarded children in the area?
*Yes. I'm going to Hell now.
I remember a skit on some comedy show done about that sign. You can imagine what it entailed. It was many years ago, so it didn't cause the outrage that it would now.
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Did I kill snuggle's thread? :thatsright:
Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
Jesus! I lived on those damn things in my 20s! :lmao: That and large curd cottage cheese! :lmao:
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Jesus! I lived on those damn things in my 20s! :lmao: That and large curd cottage cheese! :lmao:
Large curd cheese is just wrong!
I lived on spam and canned hash when I was a young'n. My dad would cook it up and then poach some eggs. I can't tell you how many dinners were spam and eggs or hash and eggs. :-)
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Large curd cheese is just wrong!
I lived on spam and canned hash when I was a young'n. My dad would cook it up and then poach some eggs. I can't tell you how many dinners were spam and eggs or hash and eggs. :-)
Hey! Whatta you got against large chunks? :therock:
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I still have scar tissue on the roof of my mouth from a pot pie eaten in the 70's.
But the Swanson Creamed Chipped Beef and the Turkey Tetrazzini were pretty good.
My father bought one of the first microwave ovens that came out. My step-mother was not much of a cook, and decided to make a meatloaf in it. It came out like grey Skippy dog food. She also fed us Hamburger Helper every single night for two years, and this was back when there was only one or two flavors of the crap. I still feel like puking when I smell that stuff cooking.
The upside is, I learned to be one hell of a cook.
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I can live on TV dinners and pot pies and Ramen Noodles and bologna sandwiches
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Large curd cheese is just wrong!
I lived on spam and canned hash when I was a young'n. My dad would cook it up and then poach some eggs. I can't tell you how many dinners were spam and eggs or hash and eggs. :-)
I didn't even LIKE Spam until I was stationed in Hawaii. Swear to gawd they could make it taste wonderful. Spam musubi, spam and eggs (with rice, of course), spam plate lunch, spam saimin, spam kelaguen...you get the idea.
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Something else I can't understand: using popular songs for ringtones.
Boss: Why the hell don't you answer your phone?
MSB: I love this song!
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Something else I can't understand: using popular songs for ringtones.
Boss: Why the hell don't you answer your phone?
MSB: I love this song!
I don't understand why people talk on their cellphone like no one can hear them. WTF? I have heard so many conversations I wish I never did...
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I don't understand why people talk on their cellphone like no one can hear them. WTF? I have heard so many conversations I wish I never did...
I think some people do it on purpose, and there are some people that are genuinely retarded.
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Something else I can't understand: using popular songs for ringtones.
Boss: Why the hell don't you answer your phone?
MSB: I love this song!
I have a co-worker who has the theme from the original Dragnet tv show as the ringtone when his ex-wife calls.
:-)
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I have a co-worker who has the theme from the original Dragnet tv show as the ringtone when his ex-wife calls.
:-)
My BIL put a ringtone on my sisters cellphone of a jihadi screaming alalalalalalala allahu akhbar, better answer before I blow you up...lalalala
It rang once when she was in dialysis... embarrassing I bet.
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I have a co-worker who has the theme from the original Dragnet tv show as the ringtone when his ex-wife calls.
:-)
I had the same ringtone when I was going through my divorce. :evillaugh:
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I had my ex-wife's number programmed with Wagner Ride of the Valkyries........
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I had my ex-wife's number programmed with Wagner Ride of the Valkyries........
You were married to Brünnhilde ? :-)
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I had my ex-wife's number programmed with Wagner Ride of the Valkyries........
And did she have "The Rodeo Song" for your number? :-)
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You were married to Brünnhilde ? :-)
Let's just say...
...it's over.
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I had my ex-wife's number programmed with Wagner Ride of the Valkyries........
My brother uses the music from The Wizard of Oz....the stuff they played when the wicked witch was flying around (when his ex calls). If it rings long enough, you get "I'll get you my pretty". :rotf:
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I have a co-worker who has the theme from the original Dragnet tv show as the ringtone when his ex-wife calls.
:-)
One of my co-workers has a hissing/fighting cat for his wife. Her cell phone has a braying donkey for when he calls.
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I had my ex-wife's number programmed with Wagner Ride of the Valkyries........
Which gives me an idea for my soon-to-be-ex...the I-95 song.
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One of my good friends has the "Approaching the Death Star Song" for his ex.
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I have yet to figure out how to assign a ring tone to people in my address book and could not care less just how to do that. :clueless:
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Is there any doubt that men are from Mars and women are from Venus?
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Is there any doubt that men are from Mars and women are from Venus?
some doubt it because those planets are uninhabitable... as if that matters.
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some doubt it because those planets are uninhabitable... as if that matters.
:hammer: :hammer: :hammer:
you just proved my point.....arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
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:hammer: :hammer: :hammer:
you just proved my point.....arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
lol
:tongue:
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lol
:tongue:
:blowkiss:
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:blowkiss:
aw shucks