The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM

Title: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: bijou on September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Butt_Bandit_terrorises_town&in_article_id=306495&in_page_id=2)

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Lord Undies on September 12, 2008, 10:06:42 AM
Quote
McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was 6 feet tall (1.8 meters tall) or slightly taller, and slender.  He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look.

Maybe it's the ghost of Freddy Mercury.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: franksolich on September 12, 2008, 10:38:52 AM
Oh my.

I thought they had caught him last year; at least he disappeared from the Nebraska newspapers last year, and my assumption, apparently erroneous, was that they caught him.

Valentine, Nebraska, is at the top of the state, in the middle, and is about mid-point between where dutch508 was born and raised, and where I currently live.  Valentine is the only big city in northern Nebraska, between South Sioux City at the far east, and Chadron (population circa 6500) nearly 500 miles west.

I have many fond memories of Valentine.

Rooms for patients in the hospital there are not identified by number, but by cattle-brand.

Valentine's a great place, but I've always been hesitant to say so, for fear it would inspire the primitives to visit.  But as the hot dog primitive, the "weinerdog" primitive, has already been there recently, ruining it, I guess it's not possible to do much more harm to its pristine and glorious glory.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 12, 2008, 10:43:23 AM
Any chance that DUmmy wienerdog is 6 feet tall,  with a dark complexion?
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: franksolich on September 12, 2008, 10:47:18 AM
Any chance that DUmmy wienerdog is 6 feet tall,  with a dark complexion?

Nah, the hot dog primitive is a femme, allegedly a nurse, and lives in southeastern Nebraska.

This is what got me when the hot dog primitive described her vacation this summer, in northwestern Nebraska and southwestern South Dakota; she had the effrontery to disturb the peaceful beauty of the Niobrara River.

And here, the hot dog primitive lives on, or near, the Missouri River. 

I think the hot dog primitive should have floated down the Missouri River, not the Niobrara River.

Or vacationed in Vermont.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Chris_ on September 12, 2008, 11:30:15 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Butt_Bandit_terrorises_town&in_article_id=306495&in_page_id=2)

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: bijou on September 12, 2008, 11:39:48 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Butt_Bandit_terrorises_town&in_article_id=306495&in_page_id=2)

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
It was a bit cheeky of me to post it, but it's too funny not to.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Chris_ on September 12, 2008, 11:41:23 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Butt_Bandit_terrorises_town&in_article_id=306495&in_page_id=2)

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
It was a bit cheeky of me to post it, but it's too funny not to.
Yeah, these stories are exposed only once in a blue moon.   :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: NHSparky on September 12, 2008, 02:38:23 PM
I suspect it's just another crank out on the streets at night.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: jinxmchue on September 12, 2008, 03:56:04 PM
Wonder if this guy goes to school.  All this lewd behavior might cause him to fall behind.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: MrsSmith on September 12, 2008, 06:30:58 PM
Oh my.

I thought they had caught him last year; at least he disappeared from the Nebraska newspapers last year, and my assumption, apparently erroneous, was that they caught him.

Valentine, Nebraska, is at the top of the state, in the middle, and is about mid-point between where dutch508 was born and raised, and where I currently live.  Valentine is the only big city in northern Nebraska, between South Sioux City at the far east, and Chadron (population circa 6500) nearly 500 miles west.

I have many fond memories of Valentine.

Rooms for patients in the hospital there are not identified by number, but by cattle-brand.

Valentine's a great place, but I've always been hesitant to say so, for fear it would inspire the primitives to visit.  But as the hot dog primitive, the "weinerdog" primitive, has already been there recently, ruining it, I guess it's not possible to do much more harm to its pristine and glorious glory.

It sounds like he quit when it got too cold...but decided eventually to start again.  I'm betting some resourceful Nebraskan will figure a way to trap him. 
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 07:59:02 PM
I derriere anyone to press their bum upon a storefront window. I was groin to do something similar, butt, I fear I would make an ass of myself.  :-)

baDABum!
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:01:44 PM
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.













Badonkadonk.  :p
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:07:14 PM
Quote
'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town


Anyone else saddened by all the gluteus violence in the news these days?   :p
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:08:19 PM
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.

Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned....  :evillaugh:













Badonkadonk.  :p
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: dutch508 on September 12, 2008, 08:13:02 PM
They have ass-ed everyone in Valentine, butt no one can ID him...

Looks like it's time for plan Number TWO!


 :tongue:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:13:55 PM
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.

Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned....  :evillaugh:


Grabbing a seat to see that posterior.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM
I don't know, something stinks.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:16:02 PM
They have ass-ed everyone in Valentine, butt no one can ID him...

Looks like it's time for plan Number TWO!


 :tongue:

Aint you from Nebrasska?  :lmao:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:18:59 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:20:34 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: dutch508 on September 12, 2008, 08:21:54 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)

Don't just sit there on your ass!
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:22:46 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)

It's not like you to be bringing up the rear end of a pun thread? I hope your getting enough sleep and not falling behind.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:27:55 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: dutch508 on September 12, 2008, 08:29:35 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

Oh...whacha gonna do? Spank me!?

 :naughty:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:36:16 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

What's up your fanny? You are usually on these games like a pirate on booty.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Crazy Horse on September 12, 2008, 08:53:58 PM
I thought when I read this thread that Schade was visiting Nebraska...........I shit you not

It had butt and bandit in the title.

Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:54:53 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

Oh...whacha gonna do? Spank me!?

 :naughty:

You guys are so funny.... always acting naughty so as to procure a spanking from me.  :-)

:asssmack:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:56:32 PM
I thought when I read this thread that Schade was visiting Nebraska...........I shit you not

It had butt and bandit in the title.



I am a bandit in what way?

No, CH, Ima coming for you and I will rescue you from $5/gallon gas and bring you north, where I will have unfettered access to your ... unfetteredness.  :evillaugh:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:57:41 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

What's up your fanny? You are usually on these games like a pirate on booty.

Funny you should ask.... there was a camera up there a few weeks ago..... pictures to follow.  :evillaugh:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 09:01:23 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

What's up your fanny? You are usually on these games like a pirate on booty.

Funny you should ask.... there was a camera up there a few weeks ago..... pictures to follow.  :evillaugh:

Did they tell you when an intestine stops being an intestine and starts being an a-hole? On second thought, I don't want to know.
 :thatsright: :p
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Airwolf on September 12, 2008, 09:01:33 PM
My older brother Dennis did this one time to his neighbors out in Pennsylvainia when it was cold and got stuck to the patio door .
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 09:08:57 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

What's up your fanny? You are usually on these games like a pirate on booty.

Funny you should ask.... there was a camera up there a few weeks ago..... pictures to follow.  :evillaugh:

Did they tell you when an intestine stops being an intestine and starts being an a-hole? On second thought, I don't want to know.
 :thatsright: :p

It's surreal looking at the inside of your colon.  :lmao:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 09:09:56 PM
My older brother Dennis did this one time to his neighbors out in Pennsylvainia when it was cold and got stuck to the patio door .


Dennis! What do we do about Dennis? Was it a frontal or a back?  :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 09:13:15 PM
Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned.... 

Sorry, just could not wait any longer. (http://www.easyvigour.net.nz/fitness/pGluteITB.gif)  :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Airwolf on September 12, 2008, 09:15:54 PM
My older brother Dennis did this one time to his neighbors out in Pennsylvainia when it was cold and got stuck to the patio door .


Dennis! What do we do about Dennis? Was it a frontal or a back?  :-)

His backside. He didn't bother to look before he planted and got to attached to the metal part of the door that seperates the doors.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 09:25:10 PM
Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned.... 

Sorry, just could not wait any longer. (http://www.easyvigour.net.nz/fitness/pGluteITB.gif)  :-)

Release your innergeek!  :-)
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 09:25:58 PM
My older brother Dennis did this one time to his neighbors out in Pennsylvainia when it was cold and got stuck to the patio door .


Dennis! What do we do about Dennis? Was it a frontal or a back?  :-)

His backside. He didn't bother to look before he planted and got to attached to the metal part of the door that seperates the doors.

 :lmao:
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 09:32:59 PM
Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned.... 

Sorry, just could not wait any longer. (http://www.easyvigour.net.nz/fitness/pGluteITB.gif)  :-)

Release your innergeek!  :-)

My geek is an outie.  :( LOL
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: Airwolf on September 12, 2008, 10:48:27 PM
My older brother Dennis did this one time to his neighbors out in Pennsylvainia when it was cold and got stuck to the patio door .


Dennis! What do we do about Dennis? Was it a frontal or a back?  :-)

His backside. He didn't bother to look before he planted and got to attached to the metal part of the door that seperates the doors.

 :lmao:

The worst thing is he is a former Naval Aviator. One would think he could land anything he wanted, anywhere he wanted.
Title: Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
Post by: jinxmchue on September 13, 2008, 09:51:13 AM
Are the butt jokes over?









 :(

Crap.