The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: mrclose on October 07, 2016, 04:52:17 PM
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Jordan Parkes wants to look just like his idol Kim Kardashian.
Dubbed the ‘male Kim Kardashian’ Parkes, 24, has already spent a whopping $200,000 to look like the reality TV queen. Now, he’s undergoing his third nose job.
“I showed my surgeon photos of Kim Kardashian as she has the perfect nose,†he told the Manchester Evening News. “It’s taken me three nose jobs but hopefully I have what I want now, as the surgeon warned me that it would not be possible to have any more nose surgery.â€
But because of his notoriety, Parkes no longer has to spring for the face-altering procedure, receiving huge discounts to help promote the procedures.
That said, the path to a Kardashian-like mug has been a minefield. He once had to have a mystery filler from China removed from his lips and swelling from surgeries lasts a long time.
“My lips are amazing now thanks to cosmetic couture in Manchester; they reduced them for me a few months back. I still have filler, but I no longer self inject, I leave it to the professionals,†the Brit told the newspaper.
“My eyes are sagging a bit and I’m really noticing it in my selfies on Instagram. I cannot wait to see what I look like when I get to Kim’s age of 35.â€
Parkes says looking like the big-bottomed beauty is his hobby -- and “passionâ€.
http://www.torontosun.com/2016/10/07/british-man-spends-200k-to-look-like-kim-kardashian
(http://i64.tinypic.com/16blj5z.jpg)
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Like the dummies, this fool probably wonders why people laugh at him. Says he is british, assumes he lives there. Spent 200 big ones to do this. Fool is 24. He could have invested that in an index mutual fund and be rich by the time he is 60. Instead he will be working for scraps in a freak show.
Some people just should not be allowed to have large sums of money.
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Dear god that boy is deformed! That picture is going to give me nightmares for a week. :o
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Subway cat would be proud.
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http://www.torontosun.com/2016/10/07/british-man-spends-200k-to-look-like-kim-kardashian
(http://i64.tinypic.com/16blj5z.jpg)
His lips look like hemorrhoids.
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British man. :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
I'm sorry. What was the topic, again?
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His lips look like hemorrhoids.
...with paste on Graucho eyebrows. WT ..... (I know I know...)
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...with paste on Graucho eyebrows. WT ..... (I know I know...)
Imagine him saying, in Boy George's voice, "Shay the shecret word and win fifty dollarsh."
No, it would be more like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert. "Hayba manba."
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Subway cat would be proud.
Probably jealous, too.
BD, I think that The Brit boi should worry about hearing the words, "Allahu Abkar." It's probably going to be said right before the Kardashian Klone gets its' head removed. The story with the picture makes said individual a prime target. :runaway:
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:puke: OMG, he blends creepy and gross, and then delves a half dozen levels deeper! :puke: No self-respecting cat would drag THAT in! :puke:
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Imagine him saying, in Boy George's voice, "Shay the shecret word and win fifty dollarsh."
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
^5
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As "two-baggers" go, his bags would have to be body bags ... zipped up ... with the zippers sealed full length with epoxy!
Oh! And I wonder what his forum name is on Labour Underground?
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Jordan admitted that it all began when he was a teenager.
He explained: “It started when I was 19 and got my eyebrows tattooed on.â€
At the time, he admitted to using his student loan money to pay for his procedures.
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz-tv/hot-tv/535286/Jordan-James-Parke-kim-kardashian-lookalike-student-loans-plastic-surgery
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http://www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz-tv/hot-tv/535286/Jordan-James-Parke-kim-kardashian-lookalike-student-loans-plastic-surgery
Since he's made himself all but unemployable, UK taxpayers will likely end up paying for his surgeries.
Tattooed eyebrows? :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: I remember a beautiful coworker some years ago. Very beautiful, but her tattooed eyebrows were very disturbing.
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His lips look like hemorrhoids.
Heard the old saw "If I had a face like yours, I'd shave my ass and walk backwards". I never believed it was actually possible.
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Heard the old saw "If I had a face like yours, I'd shave my ass and walk backwards". I never believed it was actually possible.
With a face like that he wouldn't be allowed on radio!
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Steve numbers would still hit it.
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Steve numbers would still hit it.
Like Tobin backing a trailer up to a loading dock.
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Like the dummies, this fool probably wonders why people laugh at him. Says he is british, assumes he lives there. Spent 200 big ones to do this. Fool is 24. He could have invested that in an index mutual fund and be rich by the time he is 60. Instead he will be working for scraps in a freak show.
Some people just should not be allowed to have large sums of money.
Talk about trainwreck! :mental:
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Talk about trainwreck! :mental:
Up in the thread someone posted a link that said this fool spent his student loan on this!
At least UGP has mental problems has a reason. This fool is just a damned fool... and a deeply indebted one at that.
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http://www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz-tv/hot-tv/535286/Jordan-James-Parke-kim-kardashian-lookalike-student-loans-plastic-surgery
The British government needs to toss his ass in the clink for fraud.
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(http://i64.tinypic.com/16blj5z.jpg)
His lips look like hemorrhoids.
It looks like someone implanted heirloom tomatoes onto Groucho Marx:
(http://inucherry.com/images/gourchomarx.jpg)
(http://urbanfarmcolorado.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/tomato_mortgage_lifter.jpg)
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It looks like someone implanted heirloom tomatoes onto Groucho Marx:
(http://inucherry.com/images/gourchomarx.jpg)
(http://urbanfarmcolorado.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/tomato_mortgage_lifter.jpg)
:rofl:
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"“My eyes are sagging a bit and I’m really noticing it in my selfies on Instagram. I cannot wait to see what I look like when I get to Kim’s age of 35."
Considering that he/she/it looks like a deformed freak now, I'm guessing that by then, he/she/it will look like something you might see on an episode of 'The Walking Dead.'