The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 01:09:12 PM

Title: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 01:09:12 PM
Quote
chalmers (285 posts)

Porn has ruined my relationships with women (It's the other way around for me.)


My parents never gave me "the talk" (then why not blame THEM, you stupid moron?) so I learned about sex through pornographic magazines that I found at construction sites  (Yeah, it's a little-known fact in the Grainger catalog is a section of dirty magazines. Right next to the gojo hand cleaner. I mean, COME ON. You wandered around construction sites looking for PORN? ) left behind by the workers ("OK, honey, you have your thermos and your lunchbox? Wear your hardhat...I don't want to visit you in the emergency room later. And you better put sunscreen on. I'll have dinner waiting for you when you get home. Oh, wait, one more thing: do you have your porn?" ). Of course those images created an idealized unrealistic image of women in my young mind. (Compared to DUmmy chicks? Agreed.) So much so that I often turned down the advances of females in high school (Those weren't women, those were girls.) whom I felt didn't live up to that sexy, voluptuous standard (The you're either a sexist or a homo, or both, because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax). These were women who probably liked me but I rejected them because I felt they were not attractive enough by the standard set by porn. (And they probably had confusing genitals...nothing that would fit up your butt.)

Something really needs to be done about sex education in this country (no, just your house) and the puritanical standards that don't allow people to openly talk about sexual relationships needs to be set aside for a more enlightened approach (like wandering around construction sites looking for dirty magazines, right?) to this biological issue which is ingrained in us all.

Cool story, bro. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027528880)


Oh my heavens. DUmmies, if you're trying to make a point about something, can you at least try to make yourselves not look so creepy and nasty and stupid in the process?

Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: thundley4 on January 14, 2016, 01:16:16 PM
Seriously? Blaming porn for unrealistic expectations of women? Look at any fashion rag or magazine directed to women.

Even their supposed everyday moms make the DUmmies look like bedraggled Muslim abused goats.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: DLR Pyro on January 14, 2016, 01:20:05 PM
Quote
chalmers (285 posts)

Porn has ruined my relationships with women
so this is your excuse for turning gay?
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 01:21:14 PM
Seriously? Blaming porn for unrealistic expectations of women? Look at any fashion rag or magazine directed to women.

Even their supposed everyday moms make the DUmmies look like bedraggled Muslim abused goats.


     No kidding. Men's mags photoshop moles and birthmarks off of tits. Women's mags make their thighs and arms skinnier. Adolescent girls read women's mags, not men's mags. Female body issues and shaming come from other women, not men.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Maverick1987 on January 14, 2016, 01:26:06 PM
Oh my heavens. DUmmies, if you're trying to make a point about something, can you at least try to make yourselves not look so creepy and nasty and stupid in the process?

Unpossible

Quote
...because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax

 :lmao:

Banned, you have a way with words.  Thank you for your contributions here  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 14, 2016, 01:39:43 PM
What a homo.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 01:50:15 PM
What a homo.


     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
     
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 01:51:25 PM

Banned, you have a way with words.  Thank you for your contributions here  :cheersmate:

     That is highly kind of you, my man. I writes 'em like I sees 'em, is all. The Dummies are infinite ridicule conception. It's just too easy.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Carl on January 14, 2016, 01:56:55 PM
In other words they just seized his home computer and he is at a library setting up a defense for what they are going to find.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 14, 2016, 02:11:34 PM

     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
   

You really hit it out of the park with that line about laying pipe.

Well done!
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 02:13:04 PM
You really hit it out of the park with that line about laying pipe.

Well done!

     It's a challenge to keep my brethren amused with new material. All in a day's work.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 14, 2016, 02:15:31 PM
Apart from a few of their more pathetic specimens the OP is being roundly mocked.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 14, 2016, 02:46:55 PM
     It's a challenge to keep my brethren amused with new material. All in a day's work.

I understand. I will sometimes try new material here before I use it on the ray-de-oh. I also poach good material here to use on the air- with attribution, of course.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 14, 2016, 02:56:20 PM
I understand. I will sometimes try new material here before I use it on the ray-de-oh. I also poach good material here to use on the air- with attribution, of course.


     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: landofconfusion80 on January 14, 2016, 03:23:21 PM

     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.
Judging by his pipe laying comment..... you'll feel it
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: dixierose on January 14, 2016, 03:34:09 PM
In other words they just seized his home computer and he is at a library setting up a defense for what they are going to find.

H^5.

 :rofl:
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 14, 2016, 03:38:53 PM

     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.

Count on it! My six loyal listeners will laugh their asses off.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: SVPete on January 14, 2016, 04:25:45 PM
 :bouncy: I think this is a  :bouncy: , and not a very good one. Unless this character is a sexagenarian (pun not intended) or older, didn't he have sex-ed in junior high (or earlier)? I'm just over 60 and we did. :bouncy:

 :bouncy: Unless his school days pre-date the mid-late 60s, girls' skirts, dresses, and pants ... at school and in the malls/stores ... . Whatever he saw in magazines, he would have seen reality rather clearly and plainly, almost every day for years. :bouncy:

Whatever kind of perv or misfit he became, the responsibility is his. And he won't get any better until he accepts that responsibility.


:ownit:
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: I_B_Perky on January 14, 2016, 04:51:11 PM
Quote
...because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Now that there was funny... don't care who ya are!!!

H5 Banned.  You made me LOL!
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on January 14, 2016, 09:40:27 PM
Peace, Love, Dope!

(http://i.imgur.com/EhnTX.jpg)


:ownit:
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Movie buff- The Sequel on January 15, 2016, 06:01:13 AM
One of the far Left's more insidious goals is to sexualize children at increasingly younger ages, which seems to be what the DUmmy's promoting here.
What he talks about doesn't really seem to do with not having proper sexual education, but more to do with not having a healthy mental image of what women's bodies should be like, which I think is a rather different matter.
Still, he ignores that fact and uses it to attack those of us who have enough of a sense of decency and decorum that we don't like talking about sex in the lewd, shameless, obsessive kinds of ways that the Left does.

Peace, Love, Dope!

(http://i.imgur.com/EhnTX.jpg)


:ownit:

People like this DUmmy believe that third graders should have mandatory sex ed classes which would include mandatory field trips to events like that.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 15, 2016, 07:12:26 AM
Peace, Love, Dope!

(http://i.imgur.com/EhnTX.jpg)

That looks like a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but why are they wearing headset mics?
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Zathras on January 15, 2016, 08:38:02 AM

     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
   

Well, that explains why Pittstain's writings are so long and rambling.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 15, 2016, 10:15:24 AM
Well, that explains why Pittstain's writings are so long and rambling.

His are 'half pithy.' :whistling:
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Duke Nukum on January 15, 2016, 12:21:50 PM
I don't know how old this Chalmers primitive is but it seems to me that all of America got a free and Progressive sex ed course when Clinton occupied the White House whether we wanted it or not.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: fatboy on January 15, 2016, 12:34:09 PM
I don't know how old this Chalmers primitive is but it seems to me that all of America got a free and Progressive sex ed course when Clinton occupied the White House whether we wanted it or not.

This is true. But on the other hand, Adam and Eve figured it out without the help of a public education system.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: fatboy on January 15, 2016, 12:42:02 PM
Porn may not be perfect, but it's got this going for it.....


Quote
Response to chalmers (Original post)

Thu Jan 14, 2016, 07:52 PM

Prism (4,951 posts)
91. Porn made me a better gay man

My Catholic parents weren't exactly about to explain the choo choo's to their closeted son.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 15, 2016, 01:37:28 PM
Quote
Response to chalmers (Original post)

Thu Jan 14, 2016, 07:52 PM

Prism (4,951 posts)
91. Porn made me a better gay man

My Catholic parents weren't exactly about to explain the choo choo's to their closeted son.


     "Find another homo, take him behind a dumpster, and ram him in the ass" doesn't have the same ring as explaining the natural and respectable process of courtship and procreation to a child. But that's just me talking.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Big Dog on January 15, 2016, 02:16:39 PM

     "Find another homo, take him behind a dumpster, and ram him in the ass" doesn't have the same ring as explaining the natural and respectable process of courtship and procreation to a child. But that's just me talking.

What in the hell are "the choo choos"? Is that some kind of homo code?
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: I_B_Perky on January 15, 2016, 03:22:16 PM
What in the hell are "the choo choos"? Is that some kind of homo code?

I was wondering the exact same thing. 
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 15, 2016, 04:07:27 PM
I was wondering the exact same thing.


     This is probably something you don't really want to see. Something Johnny Ola would probably have to show you.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: SVPete on January 15, 2016, 04:26:35 PM
What in the hell are "the choo choos"? Is that some kind of homo code?

You could always Google it, but it'd change your Internet experience for months to come.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: Bad Dog on January 16, 2016, 04:22:38 PM
I don't know how old this Chalmers primitive is but it seems to me that all of America got a free and Progressive sex ed course when Clinton occupied the White House whether we wanted it or not.
I expect there is a reasonable chance it didn't make it past the third grade.
Title: Re: DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on January 16, 2016, 06:04:09 PM
Well...nobody ever accused DUmmies of having any sense where sex and relationships are concerned.

It isn't like proof was needed, though it does prove what we all already know.



CMD