DUmmies Discuss Ancient grasswipes

[GOBUCKS]

A DUmmy mentions the History Channel show about Vikings, and somehow it devolves into a discussion of the grasswipe Judy Smith clan:

Sun Mar 3, 2013, 10:40 PM
Brigid (9,847 posts)

Wow, the Vikings were some seriously tough people!
Watching that new show on History, and one of the first things that happens is a woman kills three would-be rapists with a set of fireplace tools.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018321716

Mon Mar 4, 2013, 01:55 PM
a la izquierda (7,177 posts)

4. My husband's family also comes from Normandy...
But way, way back ( 1066).

Response to a la izquierda (Reply #10)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 03:39 PM
pipi_k (15,592 posts)

18. How do you
find all this stuff out?

I know a lot of times people actually visit the archives in the areas they're looking for, which isn't possible for me.
 
I was using Ancestry.com but ran into lots of dead ends, or, worse...totally false information

Clearly, those scam artists who used to peddle "Coats of Arms" have moved into the ancestry business, and have snagged poor addled Judy grasswipe:

Response to pipi_k (Reply #18)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 05:03 PM
grasswire (36,311 posts)

26. I have been able to go way back on ancestry.
A couple of lines as far back as B.C.

Many other lines to the Middle Ages.

Oddly enough, the one I'm stuck on is my great grandfather in Ontario. Can't find his parents.
 
And yes, researching on ancestry has its downside, as there are a lot of errors and you have to confirm by other sources.
 
BTW, you know there is a genealogy group on DU?

Now, you know that grasswipe Judy, in her late 60s, has claimed to have great-great-grandchildren. Her clan breed like hamsters.

Considering their breeding habits, in the grasswipe world "B.C" probably means Before Carter.

Response to pipi_k (Reply #2)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 02:45 PM
grasswire (36,311 posts)

9. yeah, just the names of some of my ancestors are clues

The Skull Cleaver, for one.

If you want to see some of them, take a look at Rollo the Giant -- my grandfather, about 40 generations removed.

And now the family tree can boast of Judy the Addled.

Response to grasswire (Reply #9)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 07:32 PM
ashling (18,088 posts)

33. What about
Beaver Cleaver?

Mon Mar 4, 2013, 04:51 PM
grasswire (36,311 posts)

My fam members ruled the Orkney Islands for generations.  

Response to grasswire (Reply #20)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 04:57 PM
Brigid (9,847 posts)

23. Some of my ancestors on my dad's side . . .
Came from the same clan as Macbeth. And I probably have pretty good dose of Viking blood, since both sides of my family came mostly from the British Isles. Isn't geneology cool?

Response to Brigid (Reply #23)
Mon Mar 4, 2013, 04:59 PM
grasswire (36,311 posts)

24. well, my ancestor was killed by Macbeth.

Malcolm.

Malcolm grasswipe Smith. Killed by Tyrone MacBeth in downtown Seattle, 1951.

[thundley4]

Mon Mar 4, 2013, 01:55 PM
a la izquierda (7,177 posts)

4. My husband's family also comes from Normandy...
But way, way back ( 1066).

Bullshit.  That date of 1066 is just too convenient.  Does the Battle of Hastings ring a bell?  That's one of the few dates I remember from hs history.

[franksolich]

Oh geezuz.

Given that the pie-and-jam primitive self-admittedly generated five generations between herself circa 65-70 years ago and the present, where a couple of years ago she wrote about a great-great-great-grandson "helping" her with Christmas cooking, her family tree must be taller than a sequoia.

Yes, that's right; apparently five generations in circa 60-65 years, if she's to be believed.

And because it's the grasswire primitive, it actually sounds credible.

There ain't nobody who can't find noble blood in their veins, by the way; it's exceptional only if one's descended from the purple after about 1800 that it's remarkable.

<<descended from Lionel, Duke of Clarence, third son of Edward III (1307-1377; r. 1327-1377).

Whoopee.  So are about twelve million other people.

The grasswire primitive, as senescence slowly descends upon her in old age, would be better suited if she quit hanging around the internet, retired to her rocking-chair and read the Good Book that solaced her people of generations past.

[Duke Nukum]

If these DUmmies' ancestors would have had any idea of what their posterity would look like, they would have all joined one of those anti-material cults from back then.

Maybe they did and that was what the Laki eruption and the black plague were all about?

[BattleHymn]

grasswire (36,311 posts)

24. well, my ancestor was killed by Macbeth.

Malcolm.

Using grasswipe hamster math, that works out to be 80 generations ago, give or take a couple. 


A typical lineage would have about 30 generations in the same time frame. 

[Chris_]

Bullshit.  That date of 1066 is just too convenient.  Does the Battle of Hastings ring a bell?  That's one of the few dates I remember from hs history.

Regardless of the date, that just makes her French.

Big woo.

[Delmar]

Response to pipi_k (Reply #7)Mon Mar 4, 2013, 02:51 PM
 a la izquierda (7,178 posts)
10. Well, I've traced his family back to the 1400s.

They were Earls, so it was pretty easy, once I got back to the 1700s. It also helps that the men tend to have odd, or at least uncommon first names, and some military service. His family has been in America since the 1630s.
I've also traced another line of his family back to 17th century France. That ancestor was expelled as a Hugenot.

I'm a historian, so genealogy is a fun hobby.

Response to OriginalGeek (Reply #15)Mon Mar 4, 2013, 04:51 PM
grasswire (36,313 posts)
20. OMG

That's my ancestor!

My fam members ruled the Orkney Islands for generations.

Thanks for that image!

These DUmmies think that they can make up for their low social status by creating fantasies where they have royal blood flowing through their veins.

[BattleHymn]

Viking pies, anyone?  Freshly pillaged from the oven!

[franksolich]

These DUmmies think that they can make up for their low social status by creating fantasies where they have royal blood flowing through their veins.

You notice something?

I've also traced another line of his family back to 17th century France. That ancestor was expelled as a Hugenot.

The primitives always claim to be descended from some persecuted class, never from any persecuting class.

[franksolich]

Viking pies, anyone?  Freshly pillaged from the oven!

Now, I can't say too much about that work of art.

Excellent, and so representative!

[ColonelCarrots]

I don't know if my family ever ruled a country, but I do know they helped Fidel take over one. Great Grandfather was a communist. Not our proudest moment in my family.

[wasp69]

Mon Mar 4, 2013, 04:51 PM
grasswire (36,311 posts)

My fam members ruled the Orkney Islands for generations.

Wow, you must be a huge disappointment, huh?

[franksolich]

Wow, you must be a huge disappointment, huh?

Well, sheep did dominate the Orkney Islands.

For centuries.

[wasp69]

Well, sheep did dominate the Orkney Islands.

For centuries.

True...

[BattleHymn]

True...

But generations using grasswipe hamster math works out to be what, 20 years?

[Celtic Rose]

It is a tragedy that decedents of vikings would end up as liberals posting on DU 

I skimmed the thread, then said a quick prayer of thanks that I didn't see any overlapping with my own family history 

[GOBUCKS]

But generations using grasswipe hamster math works out to be what, 20 years?

Hardly. The lower limit for a generation of grasswipes is limited biologically at around 12 years.

Poor addled grasswipe Judy claims to be the progenitor of five living generations while still in her sixties.

It's amazing. Even urban 0bamaites average 15-16 years between generations.

[Karin]

Yeah, I was going to say, wouldn't you have to have your babies at 12?  Generation after generation?  What a bunch of skanks!

[JohnnyReb]

My ancestors came and therefore here I am....

[GOBUCKS]

Viking pies, anyone?  Freshly pillaged from the oven!

Excellent work.

Over the next thirty years, three more generations of grasswipes can honor this portrait of Judy the Addled.

I was just thinking the addled DUmmy took on a tough job.

Aside from her generations piling up fierce rate, wouldn't geneological research be tough for someone named Judy Smith.

It's sort of like being a Kim in Korea, or a Singh in India.

[Karin]

Excellent work.

Unfortunately, not on the pie. 

Good point on the "Smith," GOBUCKS.  It's probably why she can trace all the way back to B.C.  (!)  She just took any old Smith. 

[GOBUCKS]

Unfortunately, not on the pie. 

Good point on the "Smith," GOBUCKS.  It's probably why she can trace all the way back to B.C.  (!)  She just took any old Smith. 

Well, now, I'm pretty sure "B.C." means "Before Carter".

By the time she gets back to the mid-1970s, the grasswipe family tree would already look like a gigantic weeping willow.

[DefiantSix]

<snip>
<<descended from Lionel, Duke of Clarence, third son of Edward III (1307-1377; r. 1327-1377).

Whoopee.  So are about twelve million other people.

The grasswire primitive, as senescence slowly descends upon her in old age, would be better suited if she quit hanging around the internet, retired to her rocking-chair and read the Good Book that solaced her people of generations past.

My great - 13 generations back - grandfather was Gen. Washington's adjutant during the Revolutionary War. He was wounded in action at the battle of Germantown, and carried on to the end of the war.  He married Gen. Washington's sister, through which my mother's line is descended.  Before him, his antecedents set foot on the American continent in approximately 1665, and never looked back.

And yeah, there are probably another 5,000 or so who can claim the same genealogical branch in their family trees, so in the here and now it means almost jack-squat, except that it provides some awfully big shoes to fill, if we've got the balls to step into them in the first place.

The grasswire primitive, as senescence slowly descends upon her in old age, would be better suited if she quit hanging around the internet, retired to her rocking-chair and read the Good Book that solaced her people of generations past.

BTW, Frank: you may not have noticed this (given your lack of use for tee-vee), but the original post:

Sun Mar 3, 2013, 10:40 PM
Brigid (9,847 posts)

Wow, the Vikings were some seriously tough people!
Watching that new show on History, and one of the first things that happens is a woman kills three would-be rapists with a set of fireplace tools.

The program Brigit the Midget is referencing immediately proceeds the new HC program on The Bible which ultra-reich wing commentator Glenn Beck has been hyping for the past 10 days or so. By comparison, the programming on The Vikings has been relegated to also ran status, even by HC itself.  Makes me wonder if Brigit the Midget is setting herself up for a round of re-education, sneaking peeks into Radio/Tee-Vee Free America...

[thundley4]

A distant relative on my mom's side married George Washington.

He was a minister that performed the marriage between George and Martha.

[DefiantSix]

A distant relative on my mom's side married George Washington.

He was a minister that performed the marriage between George and Martha.