Author Topic: primitives brag about snagging booze, losing jobs, and avoiding normal folk  (Read 1557 times)

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Offline BattleHymn

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Ho ho ho!  Another primitive Christmas thread.

It's been an unusually productive Saturday for farming decent threads from the island. 

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 03:57 PM
OriginalGeek (7,694 posts)

What did you score at your office holiday party?

I got a nifty fifth of Tullamore Dew
 

We do the gift swapping game thing - someone stole my case of beer from around the world so I stole a bottle of Beam that only had one hit (at our thing, a two hit gift is done so you get to keep it but only one hit means someone could still take it). I wanted the Dew but my boss got that and had no hits on it so I took the Jim Beam expecting someone else to take it and hoping that the Dew would have been on its' last hit and that's exactly how it went down. I took the Beam, bosses' boss took bosses' Dew, boss took my Jim Beam and I grabbed the Tullamore for its' last hit.

We have fun.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 05:17 PM
jmowreader (28,935 posts)
1. What's an office party?

It's that thing where you're never invited. 

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 06:54 PM
OriginalGeek (7,694 posts)
3. It's like a house party

only at the office..

We had pot luck food - lots of ham and chicken and mac and cheese and plenty of desserts

then we had the gift exchange but we had to hide the booze we scored when going back to our department so so busybodies in other departments wouldn't get all snitchy.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 10:52 PM
Star Member progressoid (33,066 posts)
5. I do miss that part of that job.

The interaction with the other employees.

It was stressful sometimes. But if my boss hadn't been a right wing racist homophobe, I might still be there.

This primitive now claims to be "self employed". 

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 11:04 PM
OriginalGeek (7,694 posts)
7. Yikes!

that's a plenty good enough reason to leave. I've been pretty lucky here - going in 15 years and even the time I had a republican boss he was never a bigot that I noticed. And his boss (our former CIO) was a wonderful, liberal, ridiculously smart lady whom I loved dearly and am still sad she retired so she might have tempered any crazy right-wing tendencies he might have had. He's pretty socially liberal and that's more important to me anyway.

Then again, we are a pretty large not-for-profit org so maybe we attract people of my political bent - even in IT.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 11:02 PM
Zavulon (5,630 posts)
6. Nothing. Avoided it.

I have a standing deal with my boss: if necessary, I'll work any holiday, no questions asked. In exchange I want the Monday after the Super Bowl off and I want out of the office Xmas party. It's a deal that has been going strong since 2002, and we both cash in on it twice a year.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 11:39 PM
Star Member shenmue (15,515 posts)
9. I didn't get squat

I'm hoping maybe a gift card when they let me go in January.

Another primitive, another lost job.  Oh well. 

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Sat Dec 20, 2014, 11:53 AM
OriginalGeek (7,694 posts)
12. That is a crying shame

I did get in trouble a little bit when some modern christmas song came on talking about how it was Jesus' birthday I said (apparently a little too loudly) "but we all do know that, assuming he was real at all, there's no way he was born in December right?"
Since it was a department full of IT people the comment was accepted by more folks than maybe other departments would have but it was not unanimously accepted... lol..

We have some good cooks in our dept (or at least spouses of good cooks) so we get a lot of great homemade food. We can't drink at the party (it's held during work hours on premises) but we do love to give and get booze in the white elephant gift exchange.

That's my fault too - for years everyone brought boring crap and gift cards so one year I decided to bring a bottle of honey mead. I was the only one to bring liquor and it worked out that I got the last steal of the game and I stole my own bottle back. There was a tiny uproar but it was not against the rules so I snatched that thing and kept it and told everyone "Hey, if everybody brings liquor, everybody can get liquor."
The next year there were around 10 bottles in the gift exchange and ever since there has been a pretty solid core of us that do that so we all go home happy.

Offline Karin

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"but we all do know that, assuming he was real at all, there's no way he was born in December right?"

And you said that at a Christmas party, showing all the world what a magnificent douche you are.  Congrats. 

Offline J P Sousa

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  primitives brag about snagging booze, losing jobs, and avoiding normal folk   

Being a primitive must be very stressful.  :lmao:
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Offline Delmar

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 10:52 PM
Star Member progressoid (33,066 posts)
5. I do miss that part of that job.

The interaction with the other employees.

It was stressful sometimes. But if my boss hadn't been a right wing racist homophobe, I might still be there.

Interaction with other employees?  The DUmmy misses having a captive audience to spew its leftwing BS to. 

If the boss hadn't demanded competence or results the DUmmy might've been able to hang in there.
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Offline obumazombie

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Being a primitive must be very stressful.  :lmao:
They love being miserable, and spreading the misery around.
They do get stressed if they meet with any joy in reply to their attempts at exporting their misery.
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Offline Big Dog

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 10:52 PM
Star Member progressoid (33,066 posts)
5. I do miss that part of that job.

The interaction with the other employees.

It was stressful sometimes. But if my boss hadn't been a right wing racist homophobe, I might still be there.

DUmbass. When he called you a black-hearted commie cocksucker, he didn't mean it literally.

When he said "you're fired", he did.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2014, 06:50:36 AM by Big Dog »
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 05:17 PM
jmowreader (28,935 posts)
1. What's an office party?

It something that people that have jobs go to.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 10:52 PM
Star Member progressoid (33,066 posts)
5. I do miss that part of that job.

The interaction with the other employees.

It was stressful sometimes. But if my boss hadn't been a right wing racist homophobe, I might still be there.

Translation: I got caught stealing and got fired.

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Fri Dec 19, 2014, 11:39 PM
Star Member shenmue (15,515 posts)
9. I didn't get squat

I'm hoping maybe a gift card when they let me go in January.

Translation: I hope they don't put me in jail now after they caught me stealing.

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Sat Dec 20, 2014, 11:53 AM
OriginalGeek (7,694 posts)
12. That is a crying shame

I did get in trouble a little bit when some modern christmas song came on talking about how it was Jesus' birthday I said (apparently a little too loudly) "but we all do know that, assuming he was real at all, there's no way he was born in December right?"
Since it was a department full of IT people the comment was accepted by more folks than maybe other departments would have but it was not unanimously accepted... lol..

Translation: I got drunk on the job, again, and ran my mouth, again. I hope I don't get fired from my office assistant job for this.

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Offline Chris_

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DU Christmas party:

If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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DU Christmas party:


I also imagine picturing the bar scene from the original Star Wars.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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What a DUmmy!

You can learn a lot from a DUmmy. Don't be a DUmmy.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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DU Christmas party:



Too much to drink.
 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Allow enemies their space to hate; they will destroy themselves in the process.
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Offline franksolich

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I also imagine picturing the bar scene from the original Star Wars.

You know, it's funny you brought that up.

I've never gotten all agog and excited about movies, but back when Star Wars first came out, some friends prevailed upon me to go see the movie with them.  This was during franksolich's fleeting flirtation with dope, and I was stoned at the time.

Since I can't hear, I really didn't pay much attention to the action on the screen until booom! the bar scene.

That is all I really remember about the movie, but damn, until I got used to Skins's island, the bar scene with all of its grotesque misshapen beings was the first thing I usually saw (in my imagination) when going there.
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