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Author Topic: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.  (Read 4625 times)

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Offline BattleHymn

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primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« on: October 18, 2014, 03:25:08 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/115746519

I have nothing to add to this magnificent culinary failure.  Behold:

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:08 PM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)

I finally made some black bean brownies today.

I've been meaning to try them for quite a while and I finally got around to it today. These are every bit as rich and gooey as brownies should be. I think you'll really like them.

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/09/06/no-flour-black-bean-brownies/

Here's the recipe if you don't want to click on the link...

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups black beans (1 15-oz can, drained and rinsed very well) (250g after draining)
2 tbsp cocoa powder (10g)
1/2 cup quick oats (40g) (See nutrition link below for substitutions)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup pure maple syrup or agave (or honey, but not for strict vegans.) (75g)
pinch uncut stevia OR 2 tbsp sugar (or omit and increase maple syrup to 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup coconut or vegetable oil (40g) (See nutrition link for substitution notes)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup to 2/3 cup chocolate chips (115-140g) (Not optional. Omit at your own risk.)
optional: more chips, for presentation

Instructions

Black Bean Brownies Recipe: Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine all ingredients except chips in a good food processor, and blend until completely smooth. Really blend well. (A blender can work if you absolutely must, but the texture—and even the taste—will be much better in a food processor.) Stir in the chips, then pour into a greased 8x8 pan. Optional: sprinkle extra chocolate chips over the top. Cook the black bean brownies 15-18 minutes, then let cool at least 10 minutes before trying to cut. Makes 9-12 brownies.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:30 PM
Star Member NJCher (17,168 posts)
1. totally do-able!

No sugar; can use stevia.

No wheat--oats!

Wow, now I can have brownies! My culinary world is expanding!

You can have brownies now, you vomit-soup concocting fool.  Go eat regular brownies like everyone else who has their head screwed on straight.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:31 PM
blackcrowflies (40 posts)
2. Dear God.

My sentiments exactly.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 09:32 PM
Star Member MrMickeysMom (13,509 posts)
5. Okay… here's the big question...

Will there be lots of gas afterwards?

Quote
Fri Oct 10, 2014, 05:20 AM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)
6. Well, I ate 4 of them and nothing yet.

Thanks for the update. 
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Offline Dori

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2014, 03:49:43 PM »
Ewwww.....I hate black beans

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Offline Big Dog

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2014, 04:15:56 PM »
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?
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Offline El Jefe

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2014, 04:38:31 PM »
Beans in brownies, plumbing new depths of f'ing stupid!  :loser:
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Offline Zathras

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2014, 04:47:34 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on October 18, 2014, 04:15:56 PM
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?

Because they are DUmbasses. They're like King Midas except, whatever they touch, turns to shit instead of gold.
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Offline 98ZJUSMC

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2014, 05:24:11 PM »
Quote
I think you'll really like them.

Uh, no...
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2014, 06:29:14 PM »
Black beans on a brownie??????????????? :wtf2:
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Offline Skul

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2014, 07:10:40 PM »
These are "people" that put mushrooms in chili.
Me not surprised.
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Offline ChuckJ

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2014, 07:17:19 PM »
Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:08 PM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)

I finally made some black bean brownies today.

I've been meaning to try them for quite a while and I finally got around to it today. These are every bit as rich and gooey as brownies should be. I think you'll really like them.

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/09/06/no-flour-black-bean-brownies/

Here's the recipe if you don't want to click on the link...

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups black beans (1 15-oz can, drained and rinsed very well) (250g after draining)
2 tbsp cocoa powder (10g)
1/2 cup quick oats (40g) (See nutrition link below for substitutions)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup pure maple syrup or agave (or honey, but not for strict vegans.) (75g)
pinch uncut stevia OR 2 tbsp sugar (or omit and increase maple syrup to 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup coconut or vegetable oil (40g) (See nutrition link for substitution notes)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup to 2/3 cup chocolate chips (115-140g) (Not optional. Omit at your own risk.)
optional: more chips, for presentation

Instructions

Black Bean Brownies Recipe: Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine all ingredients except chips in a good food processor, and blend until completely smooth. Really blend well. (A blender can work if you absolutely must, but the texture—and even the taste—will be much better in a food processor.) Stir in the chips, then pour into a greased 8x8 pan. Optional: sprinkle extra chocolate chips over the top. Cook the black bean brownies 15-18 minutes, then let cool at least 10 minutes before trying to cut. Makes 9-12 brownies.

After getting over the complete stupidity of putting beans in brownies I noticed the part that I've colored red.

Honey is not vegan approved? Isn't it essentially just plant nectar that's been vomited by bees?

Personally, I like bee vomit, and I'm pretty sure I like bee vomit more than I'd like bean brownies.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2014, 08:21:57 PM »
 Beans in brownies?  :puke:

I swear the dummies could screw up a wet dream.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on October 18, 2014, 08:21:57 PM
Beans in brownies?  :puke:

I swear the dummies could screw up a wet dream.

Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2014, 08:27:42 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :rotf:  :cheersmate:
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Offline Skul

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2014, 08:32:20 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :cheersmate:
That's just plain funny.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2014, 08:47:01 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :lmao:

H5 for that one BlueState!
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Offline miskie

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2014, 09:08:27 PM »
I now understand why someone came up with this phrase.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baking%20brownies

http://www.hark.com/clips/mtddyccxty-brownies


But seriously, I have no idea what this recipe is - but I do know what it isn't - brownies.
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Offline Dori

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #15 on: October 18, 2014, 11:21:06 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

Or peas    :lmao:
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2014, 10:02:22 AM »
Quote from: Ptarmigan on October 18, 2014, 06:29:14 PM
Black beans on a brownie??????????????? :wtf2:

No, black beans IN a brownie!!!  Again  :wtf2:
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Offline txradioguy

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2014, 10:42:33 AM »
Quote from: Big Dog on October 18, 2014, 04:15:56 PM
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?

Because the DUmmies must be politically correct in EVERYTHING they do...and that includes their diet.
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2014, 10:48:12 AM »
Quote from: ChuckJ on October 18, 2014, 07:17:19 PM
Honey is not vegan approved?
No, because it comes from ENSLAVED bees. Seriously. Vegans are that stupid.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2014, 12:22:09 PM »
Sounds like a nice dessert after a dinner of NJCher's puke stew.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2014, 12:47:49 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on October 19, 2014, 12:22:09 PM
Sounds like a nice dessert after a dinner of NJCher's puke stew.
With a side of onion yogurt.
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2014, 02:15:05 PM »
Good grief.
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Offline Karin

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2014, 02:21:06 PM »
 :rotf:  I have nothing to add to this culinary disaster either, but thanks for the laugh! 
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #23 on: October 19, 2014, 03:54:59 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on October 19, 2014, 10:02:22 AM
No, black beans IN a brownie!!!  Again  :wtf2:

Either way. YUCK! :puke:
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2014, 04:56:56 PM »
I was hoping it would be jelly beans.
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