Swedish School Confiscates Boy's Party Invitations !

[Red October]

There's no story here, ladies and gentlemen.  None.  On one hand, that'll learn the bully for being a ******* asshole.  On the other hand, the rules say a student can't hand shit out during class unless every student gets one.  When I was in school, if a student brought in cookies or cupcakes for the class, everyone got one, even the dorks and the bullies, or no one got anything.  Either way, that's just tough tamale.  There's no reason to get bent out of shape over this.  I could understand getting upset if the boy got expelled from school over this.  But not if the teacher just took the invites.  Lemme know when a teacher takes his virginity like they do here in America.  THEN I'll get pissed. 

[Rebel]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?

Sorry, humans are going to be disappointed on a daily basis for their entire lives. School is about educating them in the skills they will need to survive. This is one of those skills. ....or do we stop using red ink because it makes kids feel bad now? Oh, wait, they're already doing that.

Here's a lesson for the day,

You were left out. Get the **** over it, you *****.

[Lord Undies]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?

Sorry, humans are going to be disappointed on a daily basis for their entire lives. School is about educating them in the skills they will need to survive. This is one of those skills. ....or do we stop using red ink because it makes kids feel bad now? Oh, wait, they're already doing that.

Here's a lesson for the day,

You were left out. Get the **** over it, you *****.

That's what my dad told me when I got left behind at a gas station in Centerville, Texas.  Sage advice, fer sure.

[DixieBelle]

I think one of the problems we face in our society today is giving our kids an over-abundance of self-esteem. Usually undeserved self-esteem. I also think that it's easy to mistake "human kindness" for coddling. Children are not hothouse flowers. Life can stink and not everyone gets invited to Little Timmy's party regardless of how the invitations are done.

I also have little sympathy for the kids not invited in the OP. One was a bully and should not have been rewarded by getting an invitation because that was the P.C. thing to do. The other was a child who didn't invite him to his own party. Big deal. This isn't about who didn't get invited. It's about liberal P.C. bullsh*t and forcing others to make everyone feel "included". If this had happened in the summer and not at school, we wouldn't be hearing about this at all. I hope the father wins the appeal. We haven't heard any details on what the school policy is for handing out invititations. It is up to the parent to know that and to abide by it though. I do fully support following the rules. If no policy exists, then he has a case.

Exactly.  If it happened outside of class, we wouldn't and shouldn't be hearing about it.   No one said this child had to invite everyone in his class, and I certainly don't think that is the intent of the school (or it shouldn't be).    Invitations to birthday parties should be distributed outside of school, by mail -- which is most preferable as handing an 8 year old a party invitation and expecting that to reach mom's hands in a timely fashion (or at all) is asking quite a bit anyway.   

This story reaching the news is actually laughable.   Dad equating it to his son having his mail stolen is equally laughable.  Come on Dad, you know what happens when you pass notes in class right? 

 

Schools are little more than indoctrination centers for liberal groupthink these days. Which is why this made the news and is being discussed so much.

And no, it's not asking a lot to have your eight year old hand out his invitations. Children are not hothouse flowers. Mine has been very responsible with party invitations that go to school. It's his party after all.

Like I said earlier, we don't know what the rules are at this school. I support whatever the rules say. I follow the ones in our school and every parent should do the same. I based my earlier statements on the assumption that there is no rule. And yes, the student should not have passed them out during class. 

[Chris_]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?


 
 
 

Your parish priest/minister/pastor must think you are a laugh a minute.   I must have forgot the passage in the Bible where God said to raise your children to disregard the feelings of others -- they come first, everyone else can kiss their ass.     I do miss Mass on occasion, so I guess I have some catching up to do.

 

First, you don't speak for my minister.  Second, yes you have a lot of catching up to do.  Why not start now?

[RedTail]

All this shows the kid is that sometimes, the bullies aren't just the ones in the classroom, either.

This "lesson" has epic fail written all over it.

*Red*

[overlord]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?


 
 
 

Your parish priest/minister/pastor must think you are a laugh a minute.   I must have forgot the passage in the Bible where God said to raise your children to disregard the feelings of others -- they come first, everyone else can kiss their ass.     I do miss Mass on occasion, so I guess I have some catching up to do.

 

Whomever promised you that you and your kids could go through life without getting their feelings hurt lied.  Badly.  People get their feelings hurt all the time.  You either learn to deal with it when your young; or you end up ****** up later in life.  I have no problem with the school telling him he couldn't hand them out on school time, but their (and your) reasoning is wrong.

[formerlurker]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?


 
 
 

Your parish priest/minister/pastor must think you are a laugh a minute.   I must have forgot the passage in the Bible where God said to raise your children to disregard the feelings of others -- they come first, everyone else can kiss their ass.     I do miss Mass on occasion, so I guess I have some catching up to do.

 

Whomever promised you that you and your kids could go through life without getting their feelings hurt lied.  Badly.  People get their feelings hurt all the time.  You either learn to deal with it when your young; or you end up ****** up later in life.  I have no problem with the school telling him he couldn't hand them out on school time, but their (and your) reasoning is wrong.

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

[Rebel]

So, on Valentine's Day, the girls are supposed to hand one out to every boy? All boys and girls? WTF?

Sorry, I disagree with your premise WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Don't want to be left out? Stop being a prick to the kid. Hey, there's a lesson in life, don'tcha think? 

[DixieBelle]

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

I'm truly sorry that others have bad intentions regarding your son. That is just wrong.

Perhaps your own (totally justified) cautiousness colors your perceptions?

There is nothing "sick and perverse" about not wanting to invite a bully to your birthday party!! You are projecting adult emotions onto a child's desire not to have a jerk at their birthday party. Would you force any of your kids to invite someone to their party they didn't like? Kids should never be forced into spending time with kids who mistreat them! In fact, that's a "teaching moment" as a parent. I would totally support my son's decision not to invite the hypothetical bully to his party. The sooner the bully learns you can't treat people like crap and get away with it, the better. 

I think we are all in agreement that the school must set out rules and the parents must follow them. A big detail that's missing from the news reports FWIW.

[formerlurker]

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

I'm truly sorry that others have bad intentions regarding your son. That is just wrong.

Perhaps your own (totally justified) cautiousness colors your perceptions?

There is nothing "sick and perverse" about not wanting to invite a bully to your birthday party!! You are projecting adult emotions onto a child's desire not to have a jerk at their birthday party. Would you force any of your kids to invite someone to their party they didn't like? Kids should never be forced into spending time with kids who mistreat them! In fact, that's a "teaching moment" as a parent. I would totally support my son's decision not to invite the hypothetical bully to his party. The sooner the bully learns you can't treat people like crap and get away with it, the better. 

I think we are all in agreement that the school must set out rules and the parents must follow them. A big detail that's missing from the news reports FWIW.

I NEVER SAID HE SHOULD BE INVITED!!!!   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I said that the invitations should not be distributed in the classroom, and parents who know that there are children who will not be invited (for whatever the reason) should not send them in to be distributed.

As for my son, he is 6 years old and I keep him pretty well insulated from typical children outside of family friends, relatives and neighbors.  He has not been bullied to date.   That does not mean that he won't be someday.   It does not taint my perception at all.   I am a mom to three boys, that is my perception -- a parent. 

[formerlurker]

So, on Valentine's Day, the girls are supposed to hand one out to every boy? All boys and girls? WTF?

Yeah, that is usually how it works in elementary school.   

[Rebel]

So, on Valentine's Day, the girls are supposed to hand one out to every boy? All boys and girls? WTF?

Yeah, that is usually how it works in elementary school.   

Not when I was in school, in Byram, Mississippi and in Walls, Mississippi. Guess we weren't "PC" enough. Should I be taking anti-depressants for my mental distress?

[Red October]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?"  

[Red October]

So, on Valentine's Day, the girls are supposed to hand one out to every boy? All boys and girls? WTF?

Yeah, that is usually how it works in elementary school.   

Not when I was in school, in Byram, Mississippi and in Walls, Mississippi. Guess we weren't "PC" enough. Should I be taking anti-depressants for my mental distress?

That's for you and your doctor to discuss. 

[Rebel]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?" 

.....and somehow the point is lost on you.

[Red October]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?" 

.....and somehow the point is lost on you.

Really now.    That's your retort?  Tell ya what, call your congressman and cry to the newspapers.  That'll teach me. 

[Chris_]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?


 
 
 

Your parish priest/minister/pastor must think you are a laugh a minute.   I must have forgot the passage in the Bible where God said to raise your children to disregard the feelings of others -- they come first, everyone else can kiss their ass.     I do miss Mass on occasion, so I guess I have some catching up to do.

 

Whomever promised you that you and your kids could go through life without getting their feelings hurt lied.  Badly.  People get their feelings hurt all the time.  You either learn to deal with it when your young; or you end up ****** up later in life.  I have no problem with the school telling him he couldn't hand them out on school time, but their (and your) reasoning is wrong.

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

Do you personally know the two children that were not invited?  How do you know that there was some "sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds"?  Could be those two children would not or could not go to the party.

[formerlurker]

 

[DixieBelle]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?"  

While I agree with your premise (deal with it) I'm not clear on the laws in Sweden nor have we been given any further details on what recourse the father sought initially. Did he go straight to the top? Did he exhaust all other means first? Again, lots of context missing. But yes, you bring in a very valid point.

It was wrong for the teacher to confiscate the invitations and not return them. That's the impression I get from all accounts. Perhaps that's what set the father off. In any event, I would have had no problem with the teacher taking the invitations away (since he passed them during class) and then admonishing him. She should have returned them at the end of the day and said, "okay, now you can hand them out." There was a reasonable middle ground here and it appears that none of the involved parties tried to reach it. School policy and other details are missing from this OP. I'm basing my reactions on what's been given and how I think it should be handled. I've also said that school rules should come first.

[DixieBelle]

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

I'm truly sorry that others have bad intentions regarding your son. That is just wrong.

Perhaps your own (totally justified) cautiousness colors your perceptions?

There is nothing "sick and perverse" about not wanting to invite a bully to your birthday party!! You are projecting adult emotions onto a child's desire not to have a jerk at their birthday party. Would you force any of your kids to invite someone to their party they didn't like? Kids should never be forced into spending time with kids who mistreat them! In fact, that's a "teaching moment" as a parent. I would totally support my son's decision not to invite the hypothetical bully to his party. The sooner the bully learns you can't treat people like crap and get away with it, the better. 

I think we are all in agreement that the school must set out rules and the parents must follow them. A big detail that's missing from the news reports FWIW.

I NEVER SAID HE SHOULD BE INVITED!!!!   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I said that the invitations should not be distributed in the classroom, and parents who know that there are children who will not be invited (for whatever the reason) should not send them in to be distributed.

As for my son, he is 6 years old and I keep him pretty well insulated from typical children outside of family friends, relatives and neighbors.  He has not been bullied to date.   That does not mean that he won't be someday.   It does not taint my perception at all.   I am a mom to three boys, that is my perception -- a parent. 

You implied it by equating it to the cupcake analogy and by saying that is doesn't matter why they were not invited "unless they get some sick perverse pleasure out of sticking it to 8 year olds" and that you just couldn't wrap your brain around that.

To me, that implied that you couldn't understand what the big deal was and why the boy didn't just invite everyone.

And all parents have their perceptions tainted by their personal experiences. If you don't, you will someday.

[overlord]

What a buncha bullshit. 

Awwwww, now where's the "lesson in human kindness" in that?


 
 
 

Your parish priest/minister/pastor must think you are a laugh a minute.   I must have forgot the passage in the Bible where God said to raise your children to disregard the feelings of others -- they come first, everyone else can kiss their ass.     I do miss Mass on occasion, so I guess I have some catching up to do.

 

Whomever promised you that you and your kids could go through life without getting their feelings hurt lied.  Badly.  People get their feelings hurt all the time.  You either learn to deal with it when your young; or you end up ****** up later in life.  I have no problem with the school telling him he couldn't hand them out on school time, but their (and your) reasoning is wrong.

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

I have no problem with the school not allowing the kid to pass out invitations in class.  I do have a problem with the school KEEPING what amounts to private property (I'm under the impression they kept the invitations?).  I also have a problem with the real issue being the feelings of the children.  You are setting kids up for failure if you give them the impression they will always be included.

[overlord]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?" 

RO, no I agree with that part of the assessment.  This case is really a mountain out of a mole hill type of thing.  As I keep saying, I have no problem with a school enforcing a rule of not passing these things out during class.  I do have a problem with the intent with which they acted however.  They weren't acting to enforce the rules, they were acting to protect someone's feelings.  That's the problem I have.

[formerlurker]

I think the cupcake analogy by Red October is the best.  You don't make enough for the entire class, then don't bring them into class.

No one promised me my kids would not have their feelings hurt.  I never implied or stated that.   My oldest son is autistic, believe me when I say I know for sure there are some pretty sick bastards out there who can't wait to tease him -- it keeps me up at night, so I totally get that thanks. 

Allowing a child to pass out party invitations in class should not be allowed.   Parents sending them in when they know the entire class is not invited (and really matters not why they are not invited, unless they get some sick perverse pleasure of sticking it to 8 year olds) is baffling to me, and really is not anything I can wrap my brain around.   

I'm truly sorry that others have bad intentions regarding your son. That is just wrong.

Perhaps your own (totally justified) cautiousness colors your perceptions?

There is nothing "sick and perverse" about not wanting to invite a bully to your birthday party!! You are projecting adult emotions onto a child's desire not to have a jerk at their birthday party. Would you force any of your kids to invite someone to their party they didn't like? Kids should never be forced into spending time with kids who mistreat them! In fact, that's a "teaching moment" as a parent. I would totally support my son's decision not to invite the hypothetical bully to his party. The sooner the bully learns you can't treat people like crap and get away with it, the better. 

I think we are all in agreement that the school must set out rules and the parents must follow them. A big detail that's missing from the news reports FWIW.

I NEVER SAID HE SHOULD BE INVITED!!!!   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I said that the invitations should not be distributed in the classroom, and parents who know that there are children who will not be invited (for whatever the reason) should not send them in to be distributed.

As for my son, he is 6 years old and I keep him pretty well insulated from typical children outside of family friends, relatives and neighbors.  He has not been bullied to date.   That does not mean that he won't be someday.   It does not taint my perception at all.   I am a mom to three boys, that is my perception -- a parent. 

You implied it by equating it to the cupcake analogy and by saying that is doesn't matter why they were not invited "unless they get some sick perverse pleasure out of sticking it to 8 year olds" and that you just couldn't wrap your brain around that.

To me, that implied that you couldn't understand what the big deal was and why the boy didn't just invite everyone.

And all parents have their perceptions tainted by their personal experiences. If you don't, you will someday.

Again, I never implied or stated that.   The cupcake analogy is an excellent one as is applies to what is and is not acceptable in the classroom. 

Please forget the reason why children are not invited as it could be for very simple reasons -- if, like the cupcakes, you are not including everyone in the class, then don't do it in class.   Mail the invitations or find some other way to get them to the children who are invited. A parent would never send in 10 cupcakes for their child to pass out to just their friends, and the teacher would never allow them to do so.   Party invitations should have the same simple rule.   

[formerlurker]

Here's the issue I'm having with the majority here.  Everyone is telling me the bully's feelings are at the bottom of the priority list, and I agree.  But are you all telling me you agree with the father making a federal case out of this because of his son's hurt feelings?  He's petitioned the parlimentary ombudsman, which looks into abuses against citizens by government officials.  That this complaint would be taken seriously is an example of PC bullshit run amok, not the teacher taking the party invitations.  This is akin to me getting a state representative to look into my son getting detention.    Whatever happened to "deal with it?" 

RO, no I agree with that part of the assessment.  This case is really a mountain out of a mole hill type of thing.  As I keep saying, I have no problem with a school enforcing a rule of not passing these things out during class.  I do have a problem with the intent with which they acted however.  They weren't acting to enforce the rules, they were acting to protect someone's feelings.  That's the problem I have.

My God, a school protecting students' feelings??!!!   The bastards!!!