I have it on good authority that gNads is talking about...
THE DREYFUS(S) AFFAIR
From the secret files of Nadin Brzezinski Abbott, Combat Correspondent Corpseman Commander, code-named "Benjamin Beachball"
During the height of the Cold War, Richard Dreyfuss and Julia Louis-Dreyfus met and fell in love. Unfortunately for the star-crossed lovers, Julia was only 13 years old, and the couple were believed to be related by blood. Fearing the wrath of President Ford's all-powerful government, the couple sought asylum in Guam (not realizing that Guam is a US protectorate). The reader can imagine their dismay at being unable to find a Guamanian embassy in Los Angeles, so they presented themselves at the Ghanian embassy, because it sounded a lot like "Guamanian".
In a rare twist of fate, Richard Dreyfuss and Julia Louis-Dreyfus sought asylum with the only country which had no minimum age of consent, and no laws prohibiting consanguinity. The government of Ghana was prepared to fly the couple to their new homeland and build an entire film industry around "that guy from American Graffiti" and a perky 13 year old brunette. Life looked good for the pair.
But President Ford would not have any of that. He called on his greatest secret weapon, "Code Name: Benjamin Beachball", spoken of in whispers in war-rooms, spook hangouts, and sailor bars on five continents. Not much was known about Benjamin Beachball. Those few who had seen her and lived to tell the tale spoke of a 10" Bowie Knife and a mysterious "Good Rig". Some men said she was a historian, some said she was battle tested in the bloody Mexican drug cartel wars, and some said she laughed at the Pulitzer committee when they presented her with the Prize for her iconic photos of burros. One witness was reported to say "I never seen a manatee shoot an AK-47 before, and I hope to God I never see it again." Another said, "I thought Benjamin Franklin was dead."
When President Ford called, Benjamin Beachball responded. She put on the black Nomex, strapped on the Good Rig, and tucked the 10" Bowie knife into her boot. Using her incredible shortness, and roundness, she infiltrated the Ghanian embassy, snatched Richard Dreyfuss and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and exfiled the objective without incident.
But fate, and politics, have a way to screw over an operation. While Benjamin Beachball was bringing the Dreyfus(s)es in from the cold, President Ford disavowed the operation, leaving Benjamin Beachball twisting in the wind. She had no choice but to release her prisoners, and promise President Ford that she would "be vague for obvious reasons".
That's all I can say. I'd tell you more, but I have to be vague on this for obvious reasons.
