primitives discuss door-to-door Bible "thumpers"

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/123014613

Oh my.

TZ (42,672 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:10 PM

Door to Door bible thumpers.

I wish they'd learn that "No solicitation allowed in this community" applies to THEM too. I had a little family going door to door on Saturday morning trying to get people to start up bible studies at their house. I really TRY to be polite with but after only having woken up a couple hours before and not feeling great, I pretty much interrupted them, said "I'm not interested" and slammed the door in their face". I hate being rude, but ******* it, this idea that the rules don't apply to them pisses me off.

First up, the sour dour hate-filled dyspeptic haemorrhoidal Leon primitive:

trotsky (32,780 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:11 PM

1. Dumbasses.

Don't they know the proper place for that is the Mall of America?

Apophis (560 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:13 PM

2. Pisses me off too.

When I'm in the mood to mess with them, I'll ask them if they ever heard the good word of Satan. That makes them leave.

And then Ugly butts in:

Warpy (68,201 posts)   Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:18 PM

4. Shit, you think that's rude?

They invariably leaned on the doorbell right after I'd gotten into some good sleep after a 12 hour night shift and they wouldn't stop because my car in the driveway indicated there was a likely sucker at home.
 
I can dimly remember flinging the door open and shrieking at the top of my lungs "THIS ****ING PLACE BETTER BE ON FIRE!" at them.
 
I got rid of them. The most I've gotten over the past 15 years or so has been a tract hastily tucked into the door jamb followed by a silent and hasty retreat. The Mormons cross the street when they get to my house.
 
Never underestimate the power of a rabid night nurse who is willing to confront them with rage and a totally off the wall shriek. They do leave. And they stay gone.

cleanhippie (14,221 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 04:14 PM

17. I find it interesting how the Mormons seem to track "adversarial" addresses.

I've been home and watched pairs of young men in white shirts and ties go door to door, but occasionally skipping a house, go to my neighbor, then skip my house and go next door. I've witnessed this happen several times over the past few years.
 
I can understand why they skip my house, as I had a bit of fun with a duo some time ago that ensured no repeat visits, but what baffles me is this: they have canvassed this neighborhood enough to know which houses are "don't bother, it's not gonna happen", but they keep retiming to the other houses hoping for a different result.

The primitive with a sensitive bottom:

Curmudgeoness (10,256 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 07:45 PM

18. I think that they track both adversarial and "receptive" addresses.

"Receptive" means that the people at that address are polite to them. I remember when I was young, the Jehovah's Witnesses were always in our neighborhood. My mother wasn't in the least interested, but she was always nice to them and always took their literature. But they got more and more insistant over time, to the point where she would look out the window, see it was them, and make us be quiet until they gave up and left. She just didn't have it in her to put up with them anymore, but she also did not want to be nasty. And they knew it.
 
Me, I have no religious visitors. At least not twice.

defacto7 (2,794 posts)    Tue Apr 9, 2013, 03:07 AM

22. I think this is a trick I figured out....

If you tell them you are Catholic, they never come back. Not sure why exactly but maybe it's that Catholics or I guess other devout believers among Christians are supposed to become the servants and concubines of the next life or planet. I mean, how can you get those new planet chores done without the help? Servants are hard to find, and as for concubines.... well... you know!
 
Anyway, I said I was Catholic and have never had another visit from the Mormons. I live in Utah.
 
edit: I'm not Catholic. I lied. Elohim knows what would happen if I told them I was atheist.

TZ (42,672 posts)   Tue Apr 9, 2013, 10:25 AM

25. I know one thing

Don't EVER tell them you are Jewish. I've tried that. Its like chum to sharks...

AtheistCrusader (13,678 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:44 PM

7. Wierd. They haven't bothered my house since I put a NO SOLICITING sign smack dab in the center of my screen door, at eye level...

I have seen them, walking alllll the way up the driveway, only to get about 10 feet from the door, then turn around and leave.

If I believed in invisible magical supernatural things, I'd worship that No Soliciting sign for its impregnable magic shield qualities.

RebelOne (26,525 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 01:12 PM

10. I live in a mobile home park.

There is a NO SOLICITING sign at the entrance, but the bible thumpers totally ignore it. When I see them at my door with their bibles in their hands, they do not get a chance to say a word because I immeditately say, "I am not interested. I am an atheist" and then close the door on them.

JNelson6563 (24,615 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 12:53 PM

8. Funny story for you, rich with irony....

Some years ago I had begun my quest to get to the bottom of the religion question, once and for all. Through my history studies of the Reformation I had begun to wonder about it all, the different views in Christianity and all of that.
 
So these JW's come to the door and I talked with them. They are big on the bible, of course. So I met with this gal weekly. She always brought someone along but it was she and I having the discussions. She was a reasonably bright lady, kind & generous, I really grew to care about her.
 
So on and on go these bible studies. Boy did I ever get familiar with the bible! I came to realize that it was all bullshit and that they (all the sects of Christianity--not to mention all the others) were anything but enlightened or "holy".
 
So, in the end, I can thank my former JW friend for helping me to achieve atheism through studying the bible.

Funny how it all works out, isn't it?

jeff47 (7,017 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 01:42 PM

11. My favorite door-to-door story

A few years ago, I lived next door to some very devout Catholics.

The JW's would come down the street. When they got to the neighbor's house, the neighbors offered them a deal: The JW can talk for an hour, and then they get to talk for an hour.
 
The Catholic family converted around 80% of the JW's that took the deal. Eventually, the JW's stopped ringing their doorbell.

TZ (42,672 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 02:14 PM

13. a coworker's husband sort of does the same thing

He'd had enough of the JW's so he looked up their website. And other websites that were critical. And when they came he'd invite them in and then start absolutely grilling them. After about 30 minutes of them being interrogated they left. They no longer have JW come to their door. Apparantly, they earned a "reputation"

Arugula Latte (39,640 posts)    Mon Apr 8, 2013, 02:12 PM

12. Oh, you must be one of those Militant Atheists I keep hearing about!

How dare you not stand and listen politely to whatever spiel they want to give you! You practically rubbed your non-belief in their noses!
 
No, really, maybe you can add a line to your sign that says something like: "No religious proselytizing, either" or something like that.

CrispyQ (15,842 posts)    Tue Apr 9, 2013, 09:29 AM

24. It's not that the rules don't apply to them, it's that they are already forgiven for breaking them.

My husband always asks if they'd like to come in & share a hit of crack cocaine. They usually back away from the door with worried expressions on their faces. A few will actually laugh. I figure anyone who knocks on my door peddling religion deserves whatever mood I'm in at the moment. I don't knock on their doors on Saturday morning & ask them to consider science & logic.

Whatever.

[FlippyDoo]

DU: The party of tolerance and compassion...as long as you're as heathenish as them otherwise they hate you f'ing guts.

[franksolich]

DU: The party of tolerance and compassion...as long as you're as heathenish as them otherwise they hate you f'ing guts.

I dunno why the primitives attach any particular animosity towards this sort of thing.

Everybody's always trying to sell something to everybody else.

But the primitives are hostile only towards these salesmen, never the Fuller Brush man, the Girl Scout selling cookies, the Snap-On Tools guy, the high school band member selling candy, the cable television salesman, &c., &c., &c.

[thundley4]

I've never had a problem with any of the religious people coming to the door.  I always politely say that I'm not interested, they thank me for my time and leave.

[FlippyDoo]

I dunno why the primitives attach any particular animosity towards this sort of thing.

Everybody's always trying to sell something to everybody else.

But the primitives are hostile only towards these salesmen, never the Fuller Brush man, the Girl Scout selling cookies, the Snap-On Tools guy, the high school band member selling candy, the cable television salesman, &c., &c., &c.

I don't know why either frank.

I once asked some of the other, more DUmmie-experienced, fictional spirit-guides how to understand the members of DU. I was told that to truly understand them you need to become them. In order to become them you would need to remove and toss away your brain then stuff your now empty skull completely up your rectum.

I decide then and there that I really didn't want to TRULY understand them.

[ColonelCarrots]

I do the door to door thing because it is a commandment you know Great Commission. The very least we just want to give people a small tract they'll throw on their coffee table. I know when to leave because you get this feeling of dread when someone doesn't want you there. You can feel their displeasure on you when you introduce yourselves to them.

[Ballygrl]

frank, what's the "sensitive bottom" story?

[franksolich]

frank, what's the "sensitive bottom" story?

The Curmudgeoness primitive, an older woman (probably late 60s) who lives in Michigan but was born and raised in Pennsylvania, is a notorious tightwad, a cheapskate.  A dime's more secure in her fingers, than in a bank vault.  One time she even got the big guy in Bellevue, no magnanimous philanthrophist himself, to buy her one of those $5 stars on Skins's island.

She's a regular in the household hints, frugal living, gardening, and other forums dealing at least partially with living without spending money.  It's fine to be careful, to be frugal--of course!--but she's carried it from a virtue to a vice.

However, as she admitted some months ago, she's a wastrel with bathroom tissue; always buys the "softest," thickest, most expensive tissue on the shelves; one assumes she buys the scented-and-lotioned stuff too.

She said it's because she has a, uh, sensitive bottom that can "take" only the fancy stuff.

[Ballygrl]

Oh, in this economy we buy the hard cheap stuff, usually the store brand that's similar to Scott, and I think the soft toilet tissue can clog the toilet.

[Freeper]

Oh, in this economy we buy the hard cheap stuff, usually the store brand that's similar to Scott, and I think the soft toilet tissue can clog the toilet.

We use John Wayne toilet paper, it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap from anyone.

[franksolich]

I do the door to door thing because it is a commandment you know Great Commission. The very least we just want to give people a small tract they'll throw on their coffee table. I know when to leave because you get this feeling of dread when someone doesn't want you there. You can feel their displeasure on you when you introduce yourselves to them.

Yeah, it's a rough job, as most selling jobs are.

But what makes your job more difficult is a certain hostility about the nature of your "product;" a hostility that doesn't exist if one's selling Fuller Brushes or Girl Scout cookies or Electrolux vaccuum cleaners.

I have my own religious faith, but anybody who comes to this door gets a chance to "sell" me something.  I guess I should just say "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," but I like giving people a chance.  It's decent and civilized behavior, giving others a chance.

Of course, in my case, it's complicated by that one's trying to "sell" to a deaf person who has no idea what one's trying to sell, but excresence happens.

I don't even have a problem with Jehovah's Witnesses; I invite them inside, sit them down, offer them something to drink and nibble, and allow them to try out their spiel on me.  But for some odd reason, members of that particular group, after about five or ten minutes, excuse themselves and leave.

I dunno.  Maybe it's the large ornate gold-plated crucifix hanging above the thermostat; as you know, Protestants prefer crucifixes without the body of Christ on them, while Roman Catholics prefer the whole assembly.  I always had the impression Jehovah's Witnesses don't like Catholics, but I never held it against them.  Whatever rows one's boat, rocks one's chair, pushes one's buttons.  It's all good.

[Freeper]

Yeah, it's a rough job, as most selling jobs are.

But what makes your job more difficult is a certain hostility about the nature of your "product;" a hostility that doesn't exist if one's selling Fuller Brushes or Girl Scout cookies or Electrolux vaccuum cleaners.

I have my own religious faith, but anybody who comes to this door gets a chance to "sell" me something.  I guess I should just say "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," but I like giving people a chance.  It's decent and civilized behavior, giving others a chance.

Of course, in my case, it's complicated by that one's trying to "sell" to a deaf person who has no idea what one's trying to sell, but excresence happens.

I don't even have a problem with Jehovah's Witnesses; I invite them inside, sit them down, offer them something to drink and nibble, and allow them to try out their spiel on me.  But for some odd reason, members of that particular group, after about five or ten minutes, excuse themselves and leave.

I dunno.  Maybe it's the large ornate gold-plated crucifix hanging above the thermostat; as you know, Protestants prefer crucifixes without the body of Christ on them, while Roman Catholics prefer the whole assembly.  I always had the impression Jehovah's Witnesses don't like Catholics, but I never held it against them.  Whatever rows one's boat, rocks one's chair, pushes one's buttons.  It's all good.

I think they are just shocked that someone invites them in and they don't know what to do. 

[franksolich]

Oh, in this economy we buy the hard cheap stuff, usually the store brand that's similar to Scott, and I think the soft toilet tissue can clog the toilet.

Apparently even Angel Soft is too rough on the primitive's bottom.

Me, I learned something when I was young and in college.

Growing up where I did, and working in a mom-and-pop grocery store, I noticed that rich old ladies used to buy the single rolls of Scott's.  They first looked around to be sure nobody else was in that aisle and could see what they were buying, and then taking a roll, put it in their cart under all the other groceries therein, to hide it.

These single rolls of Scott's were pretty expensive at the time.

I thought it was silly, but when I was out on my own, I discovered that the rich old ladies weren't so stupid after all.  I dunno if Scott's in single rolls is available any more (they disappeared from the shelves around here years ago, much to my sadness), but there were miles of paper on those single rolls.  One-ply, and just as soft, if not softer than, Angel Soft.

A single roll seemed to last forever; if memory serves me correctly, I think it was on my own shopping list, oh, maybe once every two months.

[ColonelCarrots]

I've had people turn on me as soon as I tell them i'm a Christian. I've had people want to talk about Christ with me, and then they turn nasty. I've had some nice people, and I've even lead a person to the Lord at his door.

[JohnnyReb]

The DUmmie may have a point of them not coming back after a few tries. The Mormon boys used to hit my doorbell about every June. I would tell them something along the line of, "I'm Methodist....go to that church up yonder on the hill ...going to be buried up there with the rest of my family....want some iced tea...cake...anything...ice water....sit down here in the shade and rest awhile....we'll talk while you cool off a little bit."

Haven't seen the boys in several years now even though I've seen them up town lately on there bikes.