Author Topic: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards  (Read 2031 times)

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Offline Atomic Lib Smasher

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Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
« on: January 15, 2008, 10:37:05 PM »
I notice Da Saint Fan has the Fred Thompson facts in his sig, so I'll post some of Edwards.



John Edwards always has the football game on, but only really watches it when the offensive line is bent over waiting for the snap.

John Edwards believes that "NFL" stands for "Nightly Fix of Lifetime".

Sequined fur coat, candelabra, Liberace CD's blaring - just another football Sunday at John Edwards's house.

John Edwards's least favorite part of the campaign trail? Bone-crushing handshakes from toddlers.

John Edwards's first action if elected President? Installing an all-Streisand karaoke machine on Air Force One.

Best part about becoming President for John Edwards? Writing "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" on his Cosmo subscription renewal card.

John Edwards cant resist jumping into the flame wars on the "Downy vs. Snuggle" message boards.

John Edwards is banned from the First Response Home Pregnancy Test factory because his mere presence turns all of the test sticks pink.

In high school, John Edwards was regularly beaten up and had his lunch money stolen by Napoleon Dynamite.

John Edwards once tried to take candy from a baby. He spent the next month wearing oversized sunglasses and telling people he "walked into a door".




Liberalism is the philosophy of the stupid! - Mark R. Levin

Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2008, 11:23:08 PM »
John Edwards sits down to pee and stands up to wipe.

Offline Happy Fun Ball

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Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2008, 07:19:57 AM »
John Edwards' favorite war story is about his desperate childhood struggle against split ends.

Offline DixieBelle

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Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2008, 09:54:31 AM »
LOL! I'm so stealing this.
I can see November 2 from my house!!!

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Forget change, bring back common sense.
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No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2008, 10:04:06 AM »
Hair By Robere  reports John Edwards cried like a baby when he had that one hair on his ass waxed.