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Author Topic: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out  (Read 2820 times)

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Offline Tess Anderson

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Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« on: November 23, 2012, 12:39:33 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021872256

So he decides to shave his head:

Quote
DonRedwood (2,632 posts)    Fri Nov 23, 2012, 12:54 PM

Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out into BLACK FRIDAY
$&#&#&# #$&$&@@#$* @*$^&@*$ @#*$@$*&@ @*@~)~)&$& @*#@#@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate shopping on a good day. I hate the mall. I hate Walmart. I hate the grocery store and the Dollar Tree and I hate those cute little shops with sweet little gifties and fancy soaps. I HATE them all.

I hate the parking lots and the bad drivers. I hate the lines and the plastic bags. I hate pushy people and I gimpy squeeling carts. I hate the bright lighting and the noise. I hate decorations that light up and make music when you walk by.

So black Friday is like taking everything I hate, multiplying it by 10, boiling it down so it is extra potent, and then doubling it and timesing it by ten again. I Hate Black Friday and I think the people who subject themselves to it are nuts.

But my mom is doing Thanksgiving on black Friday this year and my hair clippers just died partway through my haircut. I was buzzing it down short and on the first stripe up the back of my head the clippers quit. Dead.

So I decided I would just shave my head for the first time ever. I've gone through a pack of razors, they are all dull and painful...there are no fresh ones left, and my hair looks somewhat like a mangy opossum with chunks of hair here and there. My head hurts.

So I'm off to buy hair clippers. On black Friday. The day of the year I usually hide at home, avoid the crowds, laugh at my capitalist neighbors on TV as they bully and beat each other for a cheap set of cotton-poly pajamas and a $180 flat screen tv with a fuzzy picture and tin-can speakers. Now I must become one of the rabble I have looked down upon so many times.

God, I hate shopping.

 :mental:
« Last Edit: November 23, 2012, 01:15:43 PM by franksolich »
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Offline Ogre

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2012, 12:44:47 PM »
I was just reading this idiots thread at the DUmp.

All I could think of was what an attention whore.

To think that this idiot is a teacher.  :mad:
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Offline wasp69

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2012, 12:56:56 PM »
Quote
I hate...  I hate...  I hate...  I hate...  I hate...  I HATE them all.

I hate...  I hate...  I hate...  I hate...  I hate...

...like taking everything I hate, multiplying it by 10, boiling it down so it is extra potent, and then doubling it and timesing it by ten again.

I Hate...

My head hurts.

Now I must become one of the rabble I have looked down upon so many times.

God, I hate...

I have nothing to add...
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2012, 12:58:33 PM »
Someone's got a case of the Mondays.
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Offline ExGeeEye

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2012, 01:00:53 PM »
Quote from: Chris_ on November 23, 2012, 12:58:33 PM
Someone's got a case of the Mondays.

Umm.....TGIF?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2012, 01:01:26 PM »
Spoilsport :-)
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Offline Evil_Conservative

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2012, 01:16:28 PM »
Such a hateful person.
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Offline shadeaux

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2012, 01:22:48 PM »
Don should know better.

NO
H8

 :rotf:
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Offline Celtic Rose

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2012, 01:24:30 PM »
Personally, I think I would be more upset about leaving the house with "mangy opossum" hair than about shopping on black Friday.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2012, 01:48:25 PM »
Quote from: Celtic Rose on November 23, 2012, 01:24:30 PM
Personally, I think I would be more upset about leaving the house with "mangy opossum" hair than about shopping on black Friday.

Yes, but then you are an attractive human woman.  DUmmies necessarily have an entirely different frame of reference.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2012, 01:50:54 PM »
What a waste of perfectly good razor blades. 

Oh well, glad his head hurts. 
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2012, 01:58:43 PM »
Quote from: Karin on November 23, 2012, 01:50:54 PM
What a waste of perfectly good razor blades. 

Oh well, glad his head hurts. 

Yeah, he really only needed one to solve all of his problems.
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Offline Alpha Mare

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2012, 03:14:33 PM »
I call  :bs:   Donny Deadwood loves Walmart, especially today.  He just doesn't want his comrades to know.
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Offline zeitgeist

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2012, 04:29:39 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on November 23, 2012, 12:56:56 PM
I have nothing to add...
Nor need you. Excellent summation of the salient points, res ipsa loquitur.  :hi5:
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Offline Skul

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2012, 04:34:08 PM »
Lighter fluid--match. Some assembly required.
Eezy peezy, Go for it donnyboy.
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Offline Ogre

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2012, 04:39:04 PM »
Now that I have re-read his thread, I wonder what kind of "manscaping" he and his significant other were doing to cause his clippers to break? :whistling:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2012, 04:50:11 PM »
Quote from: Ogre on November 23, 2012, 04:39:04 PM
Now that I have re-read his thread, I wonder what kind of "manscaping" he and his significant other were doing to cause his clippers to break? :whistling:


The plan was that with a bad haircut he could claim to have cancer and collect money in front of WAL-MART for his treatments.
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Offline Ogre

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2012, 04:53:45 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on November 23, 2012, 04:50:11 PM
The plan was that with a bad haircut he could claim to have cancer and collect money in front of WAL-MART for his treatments.

and poach items from the food bank like Plagiarizing Pam?
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Offline AprilRazz

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2012, 05:23:08 PM »
Quote from: Ogre on November 23, 2012, 04:39:04 PM
Now that I have re-read his thread, I wonder what kind of "manscaping" he and his significant other were doing to cause his clippers to break? :whistling:

I have had clippers to do everything from trimming hair to body clipping horses and I have never had a pair die. Guess the primitive never took care of them. But it doesn't surprise me in the least. He will probably go online and bitch about them now and never think once about maybe cleaning and oiling them every once in a while would have kept them working.
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Offline zeitgeist

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2012, 05:38:02 PM »
Quote from: AprilRazz on November 23, 2012, 05:23:08 PM
I have had clippers to do everything from trimming hair to body clipping horses and I have never had a pair die. Guess the primitive never took care of them. But it doesn't surprise me in the least. He will probably go online and bitch about them now and never think once about maybe cleaning and oiling them every once in a while would have kept them working.

Probably battery operated type.  Dude change the battery.   :popcorn:
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: Oh My God....My clippers just died halfway through my haircut. I have to go out
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2012, 07:09:29 AM »
Quote from: AprilRazz on November 23, 2012, 05:23:08 PM
I have had clippers to do everything from trimming hair to body clipping horses and I have never had a pair die. Guess the primitive never took care of them. But it doesn't surprise me in the least. He will probably go online and bitch about them now and never think once about maybe cleaning and oiling them every once in a while would have kept them working.
I've never had a pair just die, either.

Of course, I've also never acted as though Wal-Mart were the only store on earth that sold them...   :rotf:
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