poor stupid Beth hallucinating

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11511061

Oh my.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

My mom charged me twice today while screaming that I was attacking her.

I emailed my brother and he called me back.

But I don't have very much confidence that this situation will get better. Tired.

Yeah, right.

Viva_La_Revolution (25,413 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

1. Caregivers have the hardest job

sending you strength and good vibes.

The doc put my Gram on Paxil when she started to get mean (Alzheimers) and it has helped A LOT. normally I'm not an advocate of more drugs, but this completely changed her whole demeanor. 

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

2. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's and Mom only has medicare so her care is not great.

At this point, she seems like Jekyll and Hyde. Super competent and super out of it at times. Is this how it happens?

Sounds like the way poor stupid Beth is, "super out of it at times."

Neoma (7,022 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

3. I'm out of the loop here, what does your mom have?

Lionessa (1,536 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

4. My grandfather had a severe case for quite a while. And yes, the Jekyll Hyde is somewhat normal. The hardest part for those around my grandfather seemed to be remembering he had no control over it. It wasn't his fault, and it's not your mom's. Just learn to dodge, try to keep a sense of humor, and never take it personally.

My fil had a more brief bout and he seemed better, but he was a drinker and by 3pm was pretty laid back and mil allowed him just enough the rest of the day to keep him that way.

Viva_La_Revolution (25,413 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

12. Every person is different and will show different symptoms

sometimes it's just dementia, sometimes they can call it Alzheimers. It's normal for them to have good moments and bad, and unfortunately you just never know what they'll react to and what they won't.
Someone might have to take power of attorney over her affairs, then you can go to the doctor with her and find out what's really going on.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

13. Last year I had the presence of mind to have her sign a release so her doctor could talk to me, but that's all I have for now.

I'm going to go wrap up my wrist and try to think about something else for a while.

Tuesday Afternoon (35,667 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

5. gosh, went through that last year with my Mom. made me bone tired and soul weary

it was rough going for awhile before getting her meds adjusted.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

6. Mom isn't on any meds right now.

Just out of the blue, when we're talking, she puts her hands over her ears and starts screaming.

I may have that effect on people, lol, but this is new for us.

I guess I have to get her to the doctor's somehow.

May?  May?   

Tuesday Afternoon (35,667 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

7. my Mom had back surgery last year with complications from the anasthesia and she did not get her ativan the whole time she was in the hospital. I don't know why she didn't get it but, by the time she came home she had gone psychotic from withdrawl and was having visual and auditory hallucinations and was totally out of her mind. She fell and had internal bleeding and had to out her back in the hospital. It was very draining for me both physically and emotionally.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

8. My mom is very healthy

but she hasn't let go of anything in the way of projects on this ranch. So, she is under a lot of stress all the time. She had been approved to refinance just before the crash and then, her loan was never funded so, to be fair, she's just been trying to hang on.

But on the other hand, it's too much for her and she won't let me take over any part of it even though I have experience doing exactly that. She mostly acts as if I'm her enemy when she's stressed out. It's paranoia and so sad because of anyone on this planet, she can trust me to look out for her.

I need to get to her to a doctor and before that, need to make sure the doctor is competent. Tag!

Uh, I dunno about this "trust" bit.

Tuesday Afternoon (35,667 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

9. oh gosh.

My Mom is 74 and always acted like a big sister and now basically she wants to be the younger sister. I could go on but, right now we are in a good place relationship wise and I don't want to jinx it. Best of luck with yours. 

libodem (8,099 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

14. I'm so sorry

It hurts to have your own mother turn on you. I had much the same trouble with my mom before she passed.

I worked as an RN, in a locked unit, and even with extensive information an experience, it cut me to the quick to have her be mean to me.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

15. Yep.

I've been here with her before, during the years she was alcoholic, as the person that made sure she didn't die for about 7 years. By some miracle, she managed to finally sober up and has been for more than 30 years now. But this stuff sure is pushing my buttons real good. 

I need a Plan B and a mantra to help me the next time because I was as flatfooted as possible this time.

momto3 (578 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

18. I am sorry to hear this.

My grandmother had Alzheimers and I remember watching her change. Some days she would be angry and/or confused and then others she was fine. Towards the end (she died of cancer) she was extremely paranoid and frightened. for me, it helped to put myself in her shoes and try to imagine what it wold be like if I woke up every day and did not know who or where I was.

I was not the primary care giver for her, but I know that I will be for my mother if/when she develops Alzheimers.

You need to make sure that you have a support group as well. I cannot imagine the pain and difficulty you must be facing.

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

19. The second part of this is that Mom has horse boarders here who are in a co-op arrangement with her and she is not managing them very well. They do all kinds of dangerous or destructive things and she will not rein them in or back me up when I try to. She's been managing different kinds of tenants for forty years but in the last few years or so, her awareness is lowered and she avoids conflict of any kind wth them which doesn't work as a long term solution.

So, they are littering, drinking on the property, bringing animals that don't belong here, not watching their kids, a long list of problems and nothing can be done about them because Mom will not manage them and she will not back me up when I set limits.

For now, rather than approach her in person since it upsets her so much she loses her stuff, I'm just emailing reports to her and copying my brother. At least I'll have some kind of log of what is happening here. This situation makes me deeply uneasy and I have no solution for it yet. It's an accident waiting to happen.

Okay, I'm wondering about things; this is poor stupid Beth after all, and she lies through, over, under, and between her teeth.

I've never dealt with the problem of dependent elderly parents, and I don't want to seem calloused--I'm a nice guy, after all, one of the nicest guys one can ever hope to meet--but this being poor stupid Beth, I'm sure there's holes in her tale of woe.

[GOBUCKS]

Poor, stupid Beth is only more honest than Pam Dawson.

That means every word from her mouth is a lie.

Her mother probably wants to kill her every time she thinks of how Beth's financial advice caused her to lose everything she had in the world, except for that miserable camping trailer in the desert.

Poor, stupid Beth is her mother's Bernie Madoff.

[franksolich]

Poor, stupid Beth is only more honest than Pam Dawson.

That means every word from her mouth is a lie.

Her mother probably wants to kill her every time she thinks of how Beth's financial advice caused her to lose everything she had in the world, except for that miserable camping trailer in the desert.

Poor, stupid Beth is her mother's Bernie Madoff.

Please notice poor stupid Beth alleges "experience" in handling precarious finances.

[GOBUCKS]

Please notice poor stupid Beth alleges "experience" in handling precarious finances.

Those finances weren't precarious until poor, stupid Beth went to work on them.

Her mother had a home and rental properties in San Francisco during the Great Bush Prosperity.

She would still be fine, probably wealthy, even in the muslim's real estate depression, had Beth not helped with her finances.

Beth encouraged her to take advantage of the soaring values of the California bubble, cashing in her equity to support a lavish lifestyle for herself and Beth.

Face it, Beth's junkie ex wasn't paying for that fancy Telegraph Hill condo Beth had during the Andyscam. It was coming out of Mom's skyrocketing equity.

So poor, stupid Beth and Mom were high on the hog, until one day all that equity evaporated. Money for the exorbitant rent wasn't there anymore.

Poor, stupid Beth and her furious, scammed mother put some stuff in cardboard boxes and stumbled off to the desert.

 

[Mr Mannn]

I don't think Beth is caring for her mother at all.
I think Beth won't leave the basement and her mother is getting angry.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

2. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's and Mom only has medicare so her care is not great.

Remember this the next time they scream, "Medicare for all!"

[EagleKeeper]

The doc put my Gram on Paxil when she started to get mean (Alzheimers) and it has helped A LOT. normally I'm not an advocate of more drugs, but this completely changed her whole demeanor. 

Viva_La_Crashandburn would be well advised to learn that Paxil is not an effective drug for the long term, it's useful life runs for about 1 1/2 months.

And even once it becomes useless from a therapeutic point of view it is habit forming.

[Karin]

Beth doesn't have a basement, Mr. Mannn.  She has a camper. 

[Alpha Mare]

Sounds like Beth is trying to take control of Mom's property and finances, and Mom's not going for it. Beth emails brother to back up her bullshit claims.

[franksolich]

Sounds like Beth is trying to take control of Mom's property and finances, and Mom's not going for it. Beth emails brother to back up her bullshit claims.

Poor stupid Beth is a control freak, after all.

[AllosaursRus]

Viva_La_Revolution (25,413 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

1. Caregivers have the hardest job

sending you strength and good vibes.

The doc put my Gram on Paxil when she started to get mean (Alzheimers) and it has helped A LOT. normally I'm not an advocate of more drugs, but this completely changed her whole demeanor.

Unless of course they are yours, right?

Those finances weren't precarious until poor, stupid Beth went to work on them.

Her mother had a home and rental properties in San Francisco during the Great Bush Prosperity.

She would still be fine, probably wealthy, even in the muslim's real estate depression, had Beth not helped with her finances.

Beth encouraged her to take advantage of the soaring values of the California bubble, cashing in her equity to support a lavish lifestyle for herself and Beth.

Face it, Beth's junkie ex wasn't paying for that fancy Telegraph Hill condo Beth had during the Andyscam. It was coming out of Mom's skyrocketing equity.

So poor, stupid Beth and Mom were high on the hog, until one day all that equity evaporated. Money for the exorbitant rent wasn't there anymore.

Poor, stupid Beth and her furious, scammed mother put some stuff in cardboard boxes and stumbled off to the desert.

And she wonders why her mom is angry and charging her like a pissed of Rhino! Go figure!

[GOBUCKS]

Sounds like Beth is trying to take control of Mom's property and finances, and Mom's not going for it. Beth emails brother to back up her bullshit claims.

Well, Beth took control of Mom's property and finances several years ago, so now she has no finances, and the camper is the extent of her remaining property.

The brother briefly crammed himself into the camper, along with Beth, her Mom, and Beth's two big smelly dogs.

They all lived there together for a short while.

Poor, stupid Beth hated it, and described her brother's unfortunate mental illness to her DUmpmates.

Everyone around poor, stupid Beth is mentally ill. Mom is nuts, Doug was a crazy drug addict, her brother was nuts.

Poor, stupid Beth, in addition to being the stupidest person on all the internets, is of course nuts.

Apparently the only sane people in poor, stupid Beth's entire extended family are her sons, happily residing in facilities provided by the California Department of Corrections.

[dandi]

EFerrari (161,820 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

2. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's and Mom only has medicare so her care is not great.

At this point, she seems like Jekyll and Hyde. Super competent and super out of it at times. Is this how it happens?

If you're going to be the caregiver for someone with dementia or even just live with them you'd damn well better know something about the process. Perhaps less time spent on DU and more perusing the tons of information available on the the internet would be useful.

Aggression manifests itself at some point in roughly half of all Alzheimer's sufferers. The majority of that aggression is in response to some "trigger" event or situation. It doesn't just happen spontaneously. Often it's from physical discomfort. A headache or nausea or being too cold or hot, any kind of noxious stimulus can cause lashing out. Sometimes it's just the frustration of being confused or forgetful. Sometimes it's delusional thoughts. Also, it's not uncommon for the individual to become very territorial, intensely disliking anyone invading their personal space.

The point is, with a little attention, many of these triggers can be avoided or removed, or the behavior de-escalated, but it does take time and thought. Maybe Beth throws a few too many real-life "LOL"s at her mother, same as she types them in all her argumentative posts. I know that would get on my nerves.