Lets HELP Omaha Steve Get Elected! Post your advice here!

[Mr Mannn]

I really have a hard time seeing Omaha Steve actually doing the WORK to get elected.
Have no money? Start going door to door. I would have started last summer and hit ever house in the district by now. Talking to people does a lot for a campaign.

But his history of disability scams has me thinking that he sees a campaign as an easy street, where the reporters and votes come to you.

BUT. WE. CAN. HELP!

Steve, if you are reading this, you have an incumbant to deal with. likely one well liked and financed.
This is all new to you, so here's a bit of advice...

1) Hit the streets. Door to door. Its now your weekend hobby. from now till the election.

2) You KNOW that we will reveal your embrace of socialism. Do some damage control, nueter the attacks and come out to the paper and just say that you are a socialist, that private business is evil, and you don't want their money.

3) Get the local occupy people to give you an audience. If you get them on your side, you can win voters hearts by blocking major streets during rush hour, denoucing the police, and burning flags.
---think of all the free publicity! You. Will. WIN!

4) Invoke race: You know this wins votes. A little white guilt always helps.
     A) Demand a corporate income tax to pay the indian's rent for taking their land.
     B) Denounce the local Lion's and Elks clubs as racist engines of hate and secret KKK recruiting centers.
     C) Demand the local golf course have a dollar day so minorities can play in an all-white sanctuary. Demand free lessons

5) Note which local businesses the city will be taking over to protect the public. I suggest all fast food and all banks. The city must nationalize them, and put Occupiers in charge (hey who couldn't trust a college grad at the helm?).

6) give notice to the city's one percent they their days are numbered and a warm jail cell awaits them. Name the ones you will send the cops after. After all, you will be on the city council...you can order the cops around  with a mere phone call. 

7) If the Occupy people won't help you, Block the streets yourself. You are a one man occupation!
Call the media and let them film you standing in from of a delivery truck. Stick it too the man! This has worked so well for the OWS. Go ahead. Poop on the steps of City Hall. Camp in a park, even if its all by yourself!

8) go for the fag vote. dress in drag. March on city hall, shouting I'm queer, I'm here and I won't go away!

9) announce that you are bearing Cindy Sheehan's love child.

10) When you do get to give a speech wear a tie, and in the middle, shout, "Stop it Frank! I know you are stalking me!" If a reporter asked you who is Frank, grab him by the collar and accuse, "Are you Frank? I know you are! Stop questioning me you CIA spook!"

Ok there are 10 of my suggestions. I'll be back with more. Feel free to add a few of your own...

[NHSparky]

Put all those DU and WSWS bumper sticker back on the car.  Prominently.

[Airwolf]

Good luck. We're all counting on you. - From the movie Airplane.

[Duke Nukum]

I think he should get tons of plastic surgery and botox and make Mannequin Rights  election platform.

[franksolich]

Good luck. We're all counting on you. - From the movie Airplane.

It's probably too late.

The horse got out of the barn that Sunday afternoon Chief Bawling Bull announced his candidacy on Skins's island.

I'm sure that somewhere there's a manual put out by the Democrats as a guidebook running for office, and I'm sure that one of the instructions is, "if you're running in a red, pink, white, or light-blue area, DO NOT hang around the primitives on Skins's island, as one's known by the company one keeps."

I suspect Chief Crying Hatchet was actually told this at that campaign management seminar held by the Sarpy County Democrats, but he ignored it, turned a deaf ear to it.

[GOBUCKS]

It may be important to refer to the Weeper by his name Steve Dawes, so that anyone who googles "Steve Dawes" will have a chance to find a link to his proud declaration of support for socialism in the World Socialist Web Site:

http://www.wsws.org/articles/2011/mar2011/dawe-m30.shtml

It's also good to note that his strong backing for socialism wasn't some youthful misstep.

Steve Dawes wrote it less than a year ago, in March, 2011.

If the voters of Bellevue, Nebraska want a socialist influence on their City Council, Steve Dawes, the avowed socialist, is their man.

[dutch508]

Steve Dawes? Man of the Socialist Peoples?
That Steve Dawes?
 
Ah, yes. Fondly I remember Steve Dawes,  that cold Novemeber day,
When he and the Socialist Party Members came to drive us all away,
Steve Dawes set our house on Fire with his cursed Socialist Speen,
And that's another reason why I left o' Skibbereen Bellvue


*O, father dear I oftimes hear you speak of Erin's Isle
Her lofty scenes, her valleys green, her mountains rude and wild
They say it is a lovely land wherein a prince might dwell
So why did you abandon it, the reason to me tell
My son, I loved my native land with energy and pride
Till a blight came over all my crops and my sheep and cattle died
The rents and taxes were to pay and I could not them redeem
And that's the cruel reason why I left old Skibbereen
'Tis well I do remember that bleak November (/December) day
When the bailiff and the landlord came to drive us all away
They set the roof on fire with their cursed English spleen
And that's another reason why I left old Skibbereen
Your mother, too, God rest her soul, lay on the snowy ground
She fainted in her anguishing seeing the desolation round
She never rose, but passed away from life to immortal dreams
And that's another reason why I left old Skibbereen
Then sadly I recall the days of gloomy forty-eight.
I rose in vengeance with the boys to battle again' fate.
We were hunted through the mountains as traitors to the queen,
And that, my boy, is the reason why I left old Skibbereen.
Oh you were only two years old and feeble was your frame
I could not leave you with my friends for you bore your father's name
So I wrapped you in my cóta mór at the dead of night unseen
And I heaved a sigh and I said goodbye to dear old Skibbereen
well father dear, the day will come when on vengeance we will call
And Irishmen both stout and tall will rally unto the call
I'll be the man to lead the van beneath the flag of green
And loud and high we'll raise the cry, "Revenge for Skibbereen!"

[Duke Nukum]

Steve should inure the Good Will of his fellow Nebraskans by placing huge blocks of ice all over town and sculpting replicas of Bernini's Angels on the path of Illumination out of them with his fingernails alone.

[GOBUCKS]

Steve should inure the Good Will of his fellow Nebraskans by placing huge blocks of ice all over town and sculpting replicas of Bernini's Angels on the path of Illumination out of them with his fingernails alone.

Can't do it.

Global warming.

Bush's fault.

[Ogre]

I like a good challenge as much as the next person, however couldn't we just teach pigs to fly instead?

The difficulties would be much easier to overcome. 

[FaC]

Keep up the good work - notice the Google results for "Steve Dawes" Bellevue

Page 1 already  

[Duke Nukum]

Steve, you cannot win unless you hire the Mad Hatter herself, Miss Nadin, to be your campaign manager. All she needs is a campaign manager hat and chances are she has one somewhere in her wardrobe.

[JohnnyReb]

He could rape a bunch of wymins like Bill Clinton did......nawh, to much like work.