Author Topic: primitive wants to find friends  (Read 1720 times)

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Offline franksolich

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primitive wants to find friends
« on: January 21, 2012, 05:50:45 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1151326

Oh my.

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Neoma (6,355 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

Anyone have problems finding friends?

I'm not particularly shy. Everyone tends to be accaintances, and when I go in full depression mode, I isolate and they drop out of my life naturally. Then I go full on manic, meet a dozen people more and the same thing happens. Never a real connection nor do they seem to want a connection with me anyways. Even after meeting more than once, or when I know they have the time.

I go to libraries, bookstores, teashops, etc. No matter where, everyone is hidden behind their laptop or smart phone. Groups at the library hasn't really worked, and the only thing where people actually comes up to me, is when I dye my hair blue.

This is a real dilemma because I end up wanting to go back to the hospital to make friends. Even though they always turn into unhealthy relationships. You feel as if you belong in a community, even for a short while. Which I think has come to be a real problem.

Finding friends isn't a problem franksolich has, and so I'll pass on this.

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HereSince1628 (22,135 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

1. I think you see it...to make new friends you need to be around new people

but you need to be in circumstances where you can interact so that contact gets made.

I think your instincts are right.

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Neoma (6,355 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

2. Rarely get circumstances like that.

I wish I could go up to someone and say, "Hello I'm Neoma, do you like Lobster?
"Not really."
"Me either!"
Ta-da! New friend.

And here, we have one of the 1%ers, ladies and gentlemen:

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BeHereNow (15,567 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

4. The recluse thing is what always kills it for me.

I recently made friends with a wonderful woman- we have many things in common.

I think I have effectively killed the friendship by my recluse behavior.

It's really hard to explain to people why I need to withdraw for months at a time.

It makes me sad, but there are times I can not deal with people.

At least you go out and make the effort.

I wish I could do that.

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Neoma (6,355 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

5. Just mention the problem.

I'm usually upfront about that sort of thing.

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murielm99 (11,743 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

7. I withdraw, too.

I am not sure how to explain it.

When you withdraw, do you still come to DU? What public interactions do you still involve yourself with? Can you talk on the phone to people you know, or is that part of your withdrawal, too?

It is a good thing I have a husband who understands. He does not force any social interaction on me.

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Tobin S. (3,949 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

6. I'll be your friend, Neoma

Even if it's just in the message board sense. I live in Richmond, Indiana, btw. Don't know if you are close. I see from your profile that you like non-fiction books and documentaries. I'm into both of those things, too, especially documentaries.

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fizzgig (15,079 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

8. i don't think i could fill two hands with honest to gods friends

i'm not shy, but i'm awkward and generally don't like a whole lot of people. plus, i also have the tendency to just disappear for periods of time. hell, i'm shocked a few of them even talk to me anymore. i've filtered through a lot of acquaintances, it's hard to find people i click with.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2012, 06:09:27 PM »
You'll find plenty of fiends on DU, Neoma, actual true friends, not so much.
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Offline Carl

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2012, 06:17:37 PM »
Yet these socially,mentally and intellectually backwards misfits want to tell everyone else how to live.

Offline FreeBorn

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2012, 06:21:07 PM »
I think what we may be seeing here is yet another crazy cat lady in the making. She will plod on for awhile more but alas she will give up on attempting to establish relationships among the human population and become a frequent flyer at the local animal adoption shelter.

Still a long way off from now with plenty of annoyed/disturbed neighbor 9-1-1 calls before she hits her stride and reaches her zenith.  ::)


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Offline LC EFA

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2012, 06:48:00 PM »
The simplest things seem to elude these people.

Go join a sporting team , church , gun club or other such activity where you'll be around like minded people.

Oh wait.

You're fat and lazy , hate religion , hate guns and like minded people are just boring assholes that can't leave politics aside , can't keep their opinions in their mouth and can't seem to have fun no matter what.

Sucks to be you don't it.


Offline franksolich

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 06:50:41 PM »
The simplest things seem to elude these people.

Go join a sporting team , church , gun club or other such activity where you'll be around like minded people.

Oh wait.

You're fat and lazy , hate religion , hate guns and like minded people are just boring assholes that can't leave politics aside , can't keep their opinions in their mouth and can't seem to have fun no matter what.

Sucks to be you don't it.

Or use the franksolich method.  Just let it happen.

I suspect the primitives are afraid of letting something just happen; it all has to be planned.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Ballygrl

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 06:50:57 PM »
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Tobin S. (3,949 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

6. I'll be your friend, Neoma

Even if it's just in the message board sense. I live in Richmond, Indiana, btw. Don't know if you are close. I see from your profile that you like non-fiction books and documentaries. I'm into both of those things, too, especially documentaries.

Awwwww, that's sweet.

As far as the depression and manic episodes? you need to take your medication everyday, that's something that people with mental illness don't want to do, they take it for a period of time then they feel better and think they don't need it anymore.
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"The nation that couldn’t be conquered by foreign enemies has been conquered by its elected officials" odawg Free Republic in reference to the GOP Elites who are no difference than the Democrats

Offline franksolich

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2012, 06:53:31 PM »
Awwwww, that's sweet.

As far as the depression and manic episodes? you need to take your medication everyday, that's something that people with mental illness don't want to do, they take it for a period of time then they feel better and think they don't need it anymore.

Tobin S., once the droopydrawers primitive, is, I guess, considering you're a woman, what one would call "sweet."

Doesn't blame Republicans or his mother for his problems.

That's why, unlike with the subway cat, the brain-damaged primitive, and the Las Vegas Leviathan, Tobin S. is left alone in peace and quiet.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline LC EFA

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2012, 07:02:03 PM »
Or use the franksolich method.  Just let it happen.

I suspect the primitives are afraid of letting something just happen; it all has to be planned.

They could even try getting a job or volunteering at a community service organisation , but nooooo - they're too good for work and helping out in the community is the governments job.

Those anti-social assholes can't even refrain from being a confrontational asshole towards random strangers if even half their bouncy tales can be believed.

I have no sympathy whatsoever for them.


Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2012, 07:28:18 PM »
Well dummy... let Dr. Perky-Phil identify the problem. Chances are, if people do not want to be around you, the problem can be identified really easy.
Listen to me now dummie... I want you to look in the mirror. Look really, really, hard Dummy. What stares back at you is the problem. It is up to you to fix it. Oops! I see our hour is up. $500.00 please.


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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2012, 07:39:44 PM »
Tobin S., once the droopydrawers primitive, is, I guess, considering you're a woman, what one would call "sweet."

Doesn't blame Republicans or his mother for his problems.

That's why, unlike with the subway cat, the brain-damaged primitive, and the Las Vegas Leviathan, Tobin S. is left alone in peace and quiet.

That's how he came across in his post, good to know it's true.
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"The nation that couldn’t be conquered by foreign enemies has been conquered by its elected officials" odawg Free Republic in reference to the GOP Elites who are no difference than the Democrats

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2012, 07:40:06 PM »
She should save, save, save, until she has enough money to buy a full pound of weed.

As soon as she scores that weed, she just needs to announce it at the DUmp.

She'll have more friends than Dale Carnegie.

Offline FreeBorn

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2012, 10:49:53 PM »
Or use the franksolich method.  Just let it happen.

I suspect the primitives are afraid of letting something just happen; it all has to be planned contrived.
:-)


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Offline franksolich

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2012, 05:17:50 AM »
:-)

Really, sir, I think the primitives, like Democrats and liberals, are suspicious of unanticipated opportunities that arise, and so they reject them.  This primitive's probably had many chances to make friends, but rejected them because she didn't plan for them to happen.

All has to be planned and controlled by the primitive; otherwise the primitive's not interested, or more likely scared.

Me, I make friends with the grace and elegance of a pig sliding on ice.

I can't possibly "inventory" all the friends, but it does seem to me that nearly all of these associations came about because of random by-chance encounters rather than by plan--it runs the gamut from the femme overhearing me talking with the neighbor's wife in a grocery aisle to the senior business partner by accident learning of my skills to a Russian kid hearing of an Americanskiy thousands of miles away to a woman a stranger to me to whom I impulsively gave an antique clock to a woman who overheard my reference to the William Rivers Pitt to a guy who came here, drunk, in the middle of the night, catching me unawares.

It's a long roll-call, and nearly all of these were random by-chance encounters.

Life is wonderful, life is great, when one just sits back and lets the world happen.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2012, 07:09:12 AM »
This guy is/was and will always be a flim/flam crook....but he talks a great line. DUmmies made him rich once and the government took it away but he is still selling snake oil. The DUmmie should buy some.

http://www.glennwturner.net/

The hare lip fool got of jail and left a small SC town walking. A very few years later he was a multimillionaire. I had friends that fell for his cosmetics pyramid sells pitch 40 years ago. Now I see he's out of jail and back into the "motivational speaking" stuff again.

Thanks DUmmie, I hadn't thought about Glenn in 30 years... :lmao:
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2012, 07:58:32 AM »
I disagree it is all this DUmmies fault. It can be very difficult to make and keep friends if the other part of the equation(and yourself) are always so busy just living life. Friendships take time to nurture and develop and if one is busy with the flow of life it can be difficult to squeeze anymore time to do that. I don't think personality is always the problem--some people are extroverts and some introverts. I resent the idea that an introvert should change who they are to have a cache of friends. You have to be able to communicate, but be boisterous to get attention? Umm no. Be something you aren't and you attract the wrong kind of friends anyway--it's not sustainable since you aren't really being the person you are. Obviously I don't mean rude, dismissive, inconsiderate, etc.

I think it's a complicated set of circumstances including area culture, opportunity, time, etc that make it either easier or difficult at any point in time and unless someone's had a lifelong problem with this, I doubt it's a matter of personality, but the factors I just stated.

Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2012, 08:09:45 AM »
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Neoma (6,355 posts)

Anyone have problems finding friends?

-----
blah blah blah
--------

This is a real dilemma because I end up wanting to go back to the hospital to make friends. Even though they always turn into unhealthy relationships. You feel as if you belong in a community, even for a short while. Which I think has come to be a real problem.
Back to the hospital...as in mental hospital?
OK so this is another one. Just how many DUers are mentally screwed up? Its either mental hospitals, psychotic drugs prescibed by an shrink, or illegal drugs.

Bottom line: there is something fundamentally wrong with liberals/progressives/socialists/commies/gays, these people are either outright insane or brain damaged. Do normal people want to teach 5 year olds about gay sex? Do normal people want to kill babies? Do normal people hate their own country and identify with the enemies? Do normal people think islamists taking over Egypt is the flower of democracy?

Offline Celtic Rose

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2012, 09:18:10 AM »
I'll admit that I feel a bit of sympathy.  I'm the sort that tends to have a lot on friendly acquaintances, but few really close friends.  I'm introverted enough that by the time I really warm up to people, they've made lots of other friends.  I have to consciously try to be extra friendly when I first meet people. 

However, previous posters were right, you have to find places to meet people.  Join a church, or find groups online that do activities you like in your area, take a class in something you are interested in.   

Offline jukin

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2012, 11:42:00 AM »
Turns out toxic personalities don't have many/any friends. I've always felt it was a true disservice to the mentally ill that infest the DUmp to think that they are somehow part of something accepted. I'm pretty sure that in their own areas they are isolated and that maybe, just maybe that isolation might get them to think about changing their life. The DUmp takes that small incentive away and empowers them in the mental illness.
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When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

Offline jtyangel

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2012, 07:07:46 AM »
I'll admit that I feel a bit of sympathy.  I'm the sort that tends to have a lot on friendly acquaintances, but few really close friends.  I'm introverted enough that by the time I really warm up to people, they've made lots of other friends.  I have to consciously try to be extra friendly when I first meet people. 

However, previous posters were right, you have to find places to meet people.  Join a church, or find groups online that do activities you like in your area, take a class in something you are interested in.   


Agreed. :cheersmate:

BTW, CR...you need to be on my facebook :-* pming

Offline Rebel

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2012, 07:23:40 AM »
I'll admit that I feel a bit of sympathy.  I'm the sort that tends to have a lot on friendly acquaintances, but few really close friends.  I'm introverted enough that by the time I really warm up to people, they've made lots of other friends.  I have to consciously try to be extra friendly when I first meet people. 

However, previous posters were right, you have to find places to meet people.  Join a church, or find groups online that do activities you like in your area, take a class in something you are interested in.   

If they give up their vote, I'll feel sympathy. Until then, I view them as threats.  :stirpot:
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Offline Celtic Rose

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2012, 07:41:41 AM »

Agreed. :cheersmate:

BTW, CR...you need to be on my facebook :-* pming

You have been added to my facebook friends, it really is about time  :-*

Offline jtyangel

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Re: primitive wants to find friends
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2012, 07:45:13 AM »
You have been added to my facebook friends, it really is about time  :-*
:cheersmate: