So a guy goes hunting one morning before work and he's having a great hunting trip. He's just about limited out on dove and realizes he will be late for work. So, he hops in his car and speeds off. Crossing a bridge, he sees a highway patrol on the other end with a radar. The highway patrol stops the guy and asks why he's in such a hurry and proceeds to start writing the ticket.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm late for work," the man replies.
"What do you do?" the officer asks.
"I'm a proctologist's assistant, and I stretch assholes. Sometimes we stretch assholes out to six feet!"
"What do you do with a six foot asshole?" the officer asks.
"We give it a radar and park it next to the bridge."