Performance Reviews: How To Interpret
Some of you might like to know what supervisors are really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations they keeps cranking out.
* AVERAGE: Not too bright.
* EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.
* ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.
* ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
* CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
* UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
* QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
* TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.
* TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.
* INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.
* STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.
* TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
* APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.
* A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
* NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to university.
* EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
* SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
* CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
* METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
* DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
* JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
* MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
* KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
* STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
* GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.
* SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.
* OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
* IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.
* ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
* REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
* HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.
* ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.
* HAPPY: Paid too much.
* WELL ORGANIZED: Needs more to do.
* COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
* CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the arse.
* WILL GO FAR: Related to management.
* SHOULD GO FAR: Please.
* USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
* VERY CREATIVE: Finds 5 reasons to do anything except original work.
* USES RESOURCES WELL: Delegates everything.
* DESERVES PROMOTION: (or anything else - just get him or her away from me!).
