FirstLight (1000+ posts) Wed Aug-31-11 03:42 PM
Original message
Is it really MY fault?
I have a HUD housing voucher since I left my abusive ex 7 years ago. It has been the reason my kids have had a "stable home environment" because since then my employment has been either feast or famine and I have been raising three kids alone and trying to recover my sanity at the same time...
So I moved into this house four years ago - after being moved three years straight by my rental agency. Every time the lease ran out, i was moving, people were selling the houses out from under me or it was furnished and my stuff went into storage, etc...so this house and finall feeling settled was HUGE for us all.
Like you're the only family that's had to move a lot. For military families it's to be expected and you won't find them posting on message boards looking for sympathy as if they're victims of a cold cruel world. You're the one who chose a loser for a husband and then had 3 children with him before you decided he was too abusive to stay with.
When I moved in, My allowance was 1250-1300 and I was allowed 3 bedrooms. I had to double up two of my kids, but they were the little ones and it was okay, even though it made for some tense times. (boy & girl, and a teen boy +me) When my teen moved out in March, I followed protocol and let HUD know in a timely fashion. My rent didn't change bu it was nice to finally separate the younger siblings. Especially since there had been a law or mandate that said opposite sex siblings shouldn't share after the age of 6 ...they are currently 8 & 9.(I didn;t move the two boys in together because a young boy and a mastrubating teen shouldn't share a room, lol) My daughter is actually pre-pubescent and will be 10 in a couple months, so she definitely needs her own space. I cannot tell you how much it even changed the family dynamics to have each of them in their own domains.
In no way do I buy the crap about not sharing a room past a certain age but even IF that were the case there are ways to manage the situation (I can't even figure out how they'd enforce it). We lived in a 2 bedroom house while my boys were growing up. When they wanted their own rooms we got two cheap shelves from Walmart and put them next to each other (each boy had a shelf and the back of one that they could use as a "wall" to hang posters on or whatever). They shared a closet but each had a small dresser.
One could also expect one's masturbating teen to be more discreet when whacking off. My children weren't the least bit harmed by their spartan upbringing. They did, however, learn that respect & cooperation makes everyone's life more pleasant. Size of one's environment has little to do with a child's stability. I had a mostly upper middle class upbringing and my life was chaos from sun up to sunset. Parents, not house size sets the tone of a family's life.
They sent me a letter about my re-certification appointment coming up, and buried in the 4th paragraph was a comment that said since my teen had moved out, i was lowered to a 2 bedroom voucher status...NOWHERE on any of my paperwork did I see the $1300 reduced to $1050...only that line, and the generic newsletter they sent us in July of 2010 stating that they were changing the general rules due to budget cute...all BURIED info.
I read it, but in July of 2010, it didn't apply to me, and it went past my eyeballs and out my brain...
So you get a letter that says you were being downsized to a smaller home and didn't once think to call (or ask at the re-certification appointment) and ask if that meant that there would be a change in your housing allowance? YOU'RE responsible for making sure your family's needs are met NOT the government. Adults have to deal with those kinds of issues: rent goes up, job changes, car needs repairs, new landlord has new requirements, deposits from one place to the other are different, etc.
So here i get my current rent breakdown, still NOWHERE does it list my actual VOUCHER amount... Just $1300 rent, what they pay and what I pay... no explanation of how it is broken down, because they do tricky averaging and plus minus percentages on their worksheet which i never get to see...
Again, you didn't think to call? We have insurance that pays our house payment if he loses a job because of this kind of situation. Still, when my husband's company closed and he was out of work , it didn't magically kick in, we had to get the paperwork together and coordinate between insurance and mortgage company & be responsible for making up any difference between the 2 amounts. I kind of expect to have to be responsible for these kinds of things.
my rent wen up $500 ...more than I get in welfare for the entire month! why? because I am living beyond my means?
I was IN the Office, for my appointment with the Supervisor for an hour in july...signing my life away again & again, and she NEVER said to me,
"you know, you are only getting a voucher for a 2 bedroom now.."
I'm confused. You already got a letter saying you were being downsized but because the supervisor didn't mention it you thought it didn't really happen? How would she know you hadn't already called into the office and asked? How could you assume it was her responsibility to tell you? Good Lord, you're a parent, you owe it to your children to keep their lives as stable as possible.
So now I have to hustle an extra few hundred a month to keep my house, or move?... where? ....uproot my kids AGAIN...? and where am I going to FIND that extra income when there are NO ****ing JOBS and I am lucky to work even 10 hours a week for a non-profit? and if that extra job/income causes me to pay for after school care, it is NOT extra money because daycare sucks up the wages!
Yeah, like other families NOT on public assistance don't have to worry about the same things or make the same choices every day. Poor baby!
I have been struggling my ENTIRE adult life to make something better out of NOTHING. and i feel this huge hand on my head holding me down. I even took advantage of welfare to work and drove 150 miles for 6 months to get a certification in HR management in 2008/09...but I can't break into the field because it isn't a BA, so it did me NO good
I am just. so. done.
I don't want this life anymore, but i don't know how to break free... my heart hurts, i am having trouble breathing, my stress level is off the charts... I want to scream and break shit. I am screwn.
Golly, how about starting at an entry level job: file clerk, receptionist, general office clerk and working your way up? Imagine if you'd done that 4 or 5 years ago how far you'd be now! Nice to see all the taxpayer funds you've received have been put to such good use.
Cindie
