Poor, Stupid Beth Has NFG BBQ

[GOBUCKS]

Poor, stupid Beth, for some unknown, unfathomable reason, wants to stir up her own BBQ sauce. That's the thing about people like poor, stupid Beth - everything they do is for some unknown, unfathomable reason:

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jul-05-11 04:20 PM
Original message
Does anyone have a good recipe for KC style barbeque sauce?
I tried this one last night and the amount of tomato paste overwhelmed it. It wasn't a total loss but I'd like to figure out how to fix this for next time. Any suggestions, much appreciated.

Kansas City Barbeque Sauce:

* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 1 (about 2/3 cup)small onion, finely diced
* 3 cups water
* 1 cup (2 (6-ounce) cans) tomato paste
* 1/2 cup brown sugar
* 2/3 cup apple cider vinegar
* 1/4 cup molasses
* 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
* 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x88058
Wow, that sauce wasn't BBQ, it was NFG! What a terrible recipe! Poor, stupid Beth, cooking on that little Coleman propane camper stove, is the best cook in the world. If that sauce was NFG, it was just a bad recipe.


Uh oh, the Martha Stewart of pie chimes in. You know, DUmmy grasswire, who plans to give her product away to corrupt politicians so they'll overlook health and building code violations at her pie and dope shop (which has yet to open in that ramshackle abandoned bodega):

grasswire  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jul-05-11 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. hmm....1 cup is not 12 oz
Is something wrong with the recipe as written?

1 cup is 8 oz.

In a polite way, DUmmy grasswire just said, "What a DUmbass!"
 
 

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jul-05-11 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. And I missed that yesterday and just dumped two cans in. ARgh.

Poor, stupid Beth doesn't need to clutter up that little 4' square camper kitchen with a dozen ingredients for her next batch of NFG sauce. Just buy one of these:


Mrs. Wild Bill Packer is still absent from the cooking group. She has either again spotted franksolich peeking from behind a big Oklahoma cactus behind her shack, or, as coach speculates, Wild Bill has indeed eaten her.
 

[Karin]

I'm sorry, what's NFG?

You're right, KC Masterpiece can't be beat.  They're always making their own over in DUmmyland, and they always need advice.  Here's some advice:  Pick it up, put it in the grocery cart.  

A little bit of tomato paste goes a LONG way in whatever you're doing with it. 

[BlueStateSaint]

I'm sorry, what's NFG?

No F'ing Good

[Ballygrl]

I get whatever is on sale at the grocery store.

[Chris_]

I get whatever is on sale at the grocery store.

Whoever makes KC Masterpiece sells it in the same 5-gallon drums you can buy drywall paste in.  A lot of restaurants buy it as a base for their own sauce.

I've seen different types, but the habanero bbq and guava bbq sauces were the best.

[NHSparky]

I have my own recipie for "wet" sauce.  No oil in there anywhere.  But it's kind of a PITA to make and it's spicier than the kids like, so I just do the dry rub on the ribs and when close to done, douse whatever good Stubbs or Bone Suckin' Sauce I happen to have on them for the last half hour.

Works fine for me.

[franksolich]

Mrs. Wild Bill Packer is still absent from the cooking group. She has either again spotted franksolich peeking from behind a big Oklahoma cactus behind her shack, or, as coach speculates, Wild Bill has indeed eaten her.

You know, I am concerned.

But right now, I'm preoccupied in a place where the primitives can't see franksolich, but franksolich can see the primitives.

It's a bitch, being a primitive.

[GOBUCKS]

No F'ing Good

One of the fundamental rules of acronyms is that the letter "F" always stands for some form of the same word.
It may be some tense of the verb, or a gerund, or a participle, or even a noun, but it's always the same word.