Last week, while communing with the Earth Mother Gaia with the help of some medicinal fungi, my dog, Raisin, told me she was voting for the 12th 9-11 hijacker, John McCain. My heart sank at the betrayal. How can something like this happen in MY family??? She claimed to be impressed with his bogus military record, as if that had something to do with universal healthcare. She always was retarded. Blinded by anger and chemicals, I felt I had no choice. I shot her and burned her body, like you do to zombies and pro-life reich-wingers. When my transcendent state had finally passed two days later, and I had realized what I had done, I was overcome with grief and shame. Not only had I raised a Repulbican dog, but I had also restorted to using one of Charlton Heston's evil firearms. I had intented to use a Jocylen Elders approved safe-gun, but in my emotionally disturbed state I must have made an error. I hope Gaia can forgive me, but the good that came out of this tragedy is that there will be one less bible-thumping neocon destroying the Blessed Earth come November.
