DUmbasses bending over backwards for weiner

[franksolich]

So, Frank, you tried to club him?

No, I intended to bang his head on the table, so as to break his skull, rendering him harmless.

It didn't go quite that way, because he wasn't as passed out as he looked.

This is why, when I was briefly considering getting a firearm and actually undergoing training for it two, three, years ago, all the guys ultimately said, "No, this isn't going to work....."

It wasn't going to work because franksolich is temperamentally unable to handle a firearm the way it's supposed to be handled.

They insisted I was more likely to use a gun (pistol) as a club instead of as a gun, bashing in a culprit's skull with the other (i.e., the non-barrel end of it) end, rather than aiming and shooting it.

I accepted that verdict with equanimity; my 1-3/8" S/K adjustable wrench is surely more lethal than any gun, especially if wielded by franksolich.

[GOBUCKS]

They insisted I was more likely to use a gun (pistol) as a club instead of as a gun, bashing in a culprit's skull with the other (i.e., the non-barrel end of it) end, rather than aiming and shooting it.

Don't forget that when you use a gun as a club, the end where the bullet comes out is pointed at you.
I'd never use my guns as clubs. It could damage some really nice walnut on the non-barrel ends.

[franksolich]

Don't forget that when you use a gun as a club, the end where the bullet comes out is pointed at you.
I'd never use my guns as clubs. It could damage some really nice walnut on the non-barrel ends.

I know, I know.

But in a crisis situation, one does what comes naturally.

And using something as a club, rather than as a firearm, comes naturally to me.

[franksolich]

So, Frank, you tried to club him?

You know, madam, yesterday, Thursday, was a slow day here, and early this morning I was trying to think of something to attract the lurking primitives today. 

The planets aligned, and presto! the story, although I think I've told it before, somewhere, sometime.

Lurking primitives have been eating up this thread as if a 100-gallon barrel of Cheetos.

[miskie]

THIS JUST IN -- BREAKING HARD!!!!!

Barney Frank comments on Weiner photo controversy..

That is all.

 

[GOBUCKS]

I'm sure Barney Frank has the Weiner wiener photo on his fridge.

[BlueStateSaint]

I'm deeply disappointed that the crash of the table wasn't followed by the screaming of a pretty, young, and terrified soil scientist back in the bedroom.

FIFY, and so am I, GOBUCKS, so am I . . . 

[franksolich]

FIFY, and so am I, GOBUCKS, so am I . . . 

Oh now.

Romance is for real life, not for the internet.

Notice, please, franksolich usually omits the sex-element from his stories, so as to keep them clean.

Right now, franksolich has been dating, off-and-on, a blonde gold-digger.

She doesn't know yet it's brass.

The soil scientist got married a couple of years ago, and decided to not move back home to Maryland after she got her Ph.D.  She now lives in North Platte, Nebraska and works for the U.S. Department of Agriculture.....as a soil scientist.  Last I heard from her, on my birthday in March, she hasn't yet found anything as interesting as she found the William Rivers Pitt.

The William Rivers Pitt, that 740-cubic-yard miniature Jungfrau-looking mound of antique swine excrement from 1875 to 1950, is flourishing, catnip and tomatoes growing thicker than bees on honey.  I swear this summer I'll go out and get a disposable camera, and take photographs to post.

One notices lurking primitives have been eating up this thread like marijuana-laced brownies; I got an e-mail last night, on my clarebootheluce account, asking a very intimate question, the answer to which was, "I'm average, boringly average, the epitome of average."

I didn't think the primitives would get the point of all this; best to laugh at one's misfortunes and embarrassments, than to whine about them. 

[franksolich]

FIFY, and so am I, GOBUCKS, so am I . . . 

Additionally, I just thought of something, sir.

The deaf have a habit of mucking up romance, big time. 

You ain't seen nothing, nothing at all, unless you've seen a deaf husband and a deaf wife having a spat.

It transcends "vicious."  It defies the imagination.

I am not, personally, aware of any marriage involving either two deaf people, or one deaf person and one hearing person, that worked out any better than abysmal, if even that well.

Some years ago, on the Donahue show on television, as guests there were three children (hearing) of two deaf parents, who had been charged with murdering their parents.  (They all were from Ohio.)

I was perhaps the only person watching that, who felt for the kids.  True, it was wrong for them to have put their parents away, but I could very well understand why they did it.  We're not easy people to get along with.

To put it mildly.

During the late 1980s, I had a girlfriend--christened the "Duchess;" she was six years younger than myself--who once accused me of "being the sort of person who would check on me [i.e., her] once a month, to be sure she's [i.e., her] okay, that everything's going well, and all that, and that the bills are paid.  And then you're [i.e., franksolich] off to your own world again until next month."

I dunno.  But if true, one can't help being oneself.

The Duchess after graduation from college married a guy from Kansas City, and is doing well, although getting older.