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Author Topic: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day  (Read 2855 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« on: May 08, 2011, 01:00:43 AM »
The newest CalPig poem has only one of her signature single-word lines, but it meets her standard of purtridity nonetheless.

We had started to worry about the CalPig, since it's been six months since she's dropped one in the DUmp's poetry group, but she has finally had another poetry movement. She no doubt feels much relief.

As always, you may recite this CalPig poem for family, friends and neighbors only as entertainment.
If an admission charge is involved, royalties may be due, along with beer and travel money.
Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 01:43 AM
Original message
My Poem for Mother's Day: A Mother's Gift
 I am grateful to every mother
who has given us
a child

That gift

brings so much joy
to us
who are lucky enough

to know
that new life

Otherwise
our world is small, pale, sad,
stuck.

So I say to every mom

Thank you
for your gift of love to us.

We would be so much poorer without
the gift you bore~

Your child.


© 2011 MLC

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1062263
As usual, this is a horrid collection of random words from the CalPig, but I have to say I like the little squiggly punctuation after "bore".
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Offline ChuckJ

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2011, 06:29:41 AM »
Maybe this would be more appropriate for a liberal...

Abortion

Death to the unborn child.
To us
a matter of convenience.

To hell with
whether it is a life or not.

Otherwise
our world would
face responsibility.

So I say to every mom-to-be

Thank us liberals
for allowing you to murder.

Forget the gift of life,
but we bring you the gift

of death~
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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2011, 08:03:07 AM »
Ummmm, who in their right mind would allow CalPig to be in the presence of their children?  She might try to teach them erotic poetry, no matter what their age. 

 :puke:
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Offline Splashdown

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2011, 08:12:24 AM »
Thank God she copyrighted that! Hallmark was just beating down the door....



 :lmao:
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2011, 08:54:53 AM »
I just flushed a better "poem", and it smelled better.
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Offline miskie

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2011, 09:34:44 AM »
And by pure coincidence, there is another entry in The Big Book of Poetry...

Quote from: Another Grift
My Poem for Cinco De Mayo: Another Grift
 I am angry at every carnie
who has given us
ring toss

That grift

brings so much pain
to me
im not lucky enough

to win
that poster

or goldfish
or justin bieber bobble head,
shucks.

So I say to carnies

Eff you
for your grift I always fall for.

At least I have my flatware to comfort me
and running, nipple shaped sore~

And dumplings.


© 2011 M.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2011, 09:47:40 AM »
Calpiggy poetry always brings tears to my eyes....like pickled boiled egg and beer farts.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2011, 10:54:37 AM »
It occurred to me how ironic it is to celebrate Mother's Day at the DUmp. As home base for a political movement stained by the oceans of blood shed by tens of mllions of innocent babies, you'd think they would slink back into a darkened recess somewhere, while normal people honor their mothers.

But no, a few babykillers speak up:
Quote
REP  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 04:17 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Insulting us is especially ok today - not that I really care, because I'll be having a great day
Without children in my small, pale, sad world


Quote
darkstar3  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 04:26 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I know the feeling. 
I never considered a nice, quiet Sunday to be small, pale, and sad, but hey, what do I know?

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Offline Evil_Conservative

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2011, 11:29:26 AM »
For ****s face...

I am grateful

For my daughter

But she never sleeps

And kicks me in the stomach

Head

Face

Boobs

Etc

I love my daughter still

She is too cute


That's my poem.  :whatever:
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You may call me Jessica or Jess.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2011, 03:47:51 PM »
Quote from: Evil_Conservative on May 08, 2011, 11:29:26 AM
For ****s face...

An H5 for the proper terms!
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2011, 03:56:32 PM »
It just dawned on me, about that little squiggly punctuation mark the CalPig used, "~".

After all, this is the CalPig. It has to be a sperm.
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Offline FreeBorn

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2011, 04:18:00 PM »
We should just be thankful for the little blessings that are CalPig's poems (and thank the good Lord she doesn't sing!).

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFHz9nLfP5Q[/youtube]
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2011, 04:40:26 PM »
You know on my Marine moms email list there are mothers practically crying tears of joy because they got to talk to their deployed children and thanking God for such a blessing. And then there's these ungrateful bitches being offended because someone wrote a really bad poem about motherhood.

Cindie
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2011, 04:43:44 PM »
Nancy Pelosi chose today to send out a mass email demanding unrestricted access to abortion.

Happy Mother's Day.

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Offline delilahmused

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2011, 05:00:02 PM »
I am SO ****ing sick of them calling murder "reproductive health" or "reproductive rights". The only thing being reproduced is a constant stream of dead babies. They should at least have the guts to call it an abortion but they don't even have the courage to do that.

Cindie
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"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2011, 05:12:11 PM »
So if having a child is a "gift of love" then can we assume having an abortion is a "gift of hate"?
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2011, 05:15:22 PM »
Quote from: Ballygrl on May 08, 2011, 05:12:11 PM
So if having a child is a "gift of love" then can we assume having an abortion is a "gift of hate"?

I guess that would depend...given a choice between having a DUmmie for a parent or being in Heaven? Think I'd choose Jesus!

Cindie
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"If God built me a ladder to heaven, I would climb it and elbow drop the world."
Mick Foley

"I am a very good shot. I have hunted for every kind of animal. But I would never kill an animal during mating season."
Hedy Lamarr

"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
Morticia Addams

Offline Karin

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2011, 07:44:59 AM »
Quote from: delilahmused on May 08, 2011, 05:00:02 PM
I am SO ****ing sick of them calling murder "reproductive health" or "reproductive rights". Cindie

What's even more insidious is when they call it "women's health care."  How could anybody possibly be against that? 

The poem is the ususal trite, cliched drivel.  I refuse to go over and see the asskissery and the "I wept copious tears of gratitude for your awesome poem, CalPeg!"  Followed by the "My dear blah blah." 
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #18 on: May 09, 2011, 09:37:17 AM »
The poetry by the people here by Jess, miskie, and Chuck J is so much better than any CalPig effort. Even though Jess overlooked the little squiggly thing, she compensated beautifully by remembering FFF. I am weeping.
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Offline Evil_Conservative

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #19 on: May 09, 2011, 08:05:35 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on May 09, 2011, 09:37:17 AM
The poetry by the people here by Jess, miskie, and Chuck J is so much better than any CalPig effort. Even though Jess overlooked the little squiggly thing, she compensated beautifully by remembering FFF. I am weeping.

My next poem will have a squiggly line.
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Offline true_blood

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #20 on: May 09, 2011, 08:08:12 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on May 08, 2011, 08:54:53 AM
I just flushed a better "poem", and it smelled better.
HA HA! :-)
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Offline Skul

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2011, 08:14:02 PM »
I'm strongly considering hunting GOBUCKS down if he ever posts another calpiggy "poem".
Borrowed time, you stink-bug!!
Don't do that again!1!1

Rotten bastage
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Offline Vagabond

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #22 on: May 09, 2011, 09:28:34 PM »
Will somebody please

explain

Why placing random
breaks in

sentences
makes it

poetry?~
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2011, 09:37:34 PM »
Quote from: Vagabond on May 09, 2011, 09:28:34 PM
Will somebody please

explain

Why placing random
breaks in

sentences
makes it

poetry?~


It.

Just.

Does.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #24 on: May 09, 2011, 09:44:26 PM »
Blink~
Blink~
Blink~
Blink~
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