« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day  (Read 2867 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« on: May 08, 2011, 01:00:43 AM »
The newest CalPig poem has only one of her signature single-word lines, but it meets her standard of purtridity nonetheless.

We had started to worry about the CalPig, since it's been six months since she's dropped one in the DUmp's poetry group, but she has finally had another poetry movement. She no doubt feels much relief.

As always, you may recite this CalPig poem for family, friends and neighbors only as entertainment.
If an admission charge is involved, royalties may be due, along with beer and travel money.
Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 01:43 AM
Original message
My Poem for Mother's Day: A Mother's Gift
 I am grateful to every mother
who has given us
a child

That gift

brings so much joy
to us
who are lucky enough

to know
that new life

Otherwise
our world is small, pale, sad,
stuck.

So I say to every mom

Thank you
for your gift of love to us.

We would be so much poorer without
the gift you bore~

Your child.


© 2011 MLC

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1062263
As usual, this is a horrid collection of random words from the CalPig, but I have to say I like the little squiggly punctuation after "bore".
Logged

Offline ChuckJ

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4796
  • Reputation: +534/-37
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2011, 06:29:41 AM »
Maybe this would be more appropriate for a liberal...

Abortion

Death to the unborn child.
To us
a matter of convenience.

To hell with
whether it is a life or not.

Otherwise
our world would
face responsibility.

So I say to every mom-to-be

Thank us liberals
for allowing you to murder.

Forget the gift of life,
but we bring you the gift

of death~
Logged
“Don’t vote for the person who tells you you deserve something. Just don’t do it if it’s something other than life, liberty, or the pursuit of possible happiness. If everyone is telling you you deserve something, vote for the one who is promising you the least. Be suspicious of the man or woman who tell you deserve everything. Because you don’t.” ---Mike Rowe

Offline Traveshamockery

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4391
  • Reputation: +373/-54
  • Nana to Kyle and Garrett
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2011, 08:03:07 AM »
Ummmm, who in their right mind would allow CalPig to be in the presence of their children?  She might try to teach them erotic poetry, no matter what their age. 

 :puke:
Logged

Offline Splashdown

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6729
  • Reputation: +475/-100
  • Out of 9 lives, I spent 7
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2011, 08:12:24 AM »
Thank God she copyrighted that! Hallmark was just beating down the door....



 :lmao:
Logged
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



"No crushed ice; no peas." -- Undies

Offline diesel driver

  • Creepy Ass Cracker and Smart-Ass White Boy!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9130
  • Reputation: +609/-55
  • Enhancing My Carbon Footprint!
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2011, 08:54:53 AM »
I just flushed a better "poem", and it smelled better.
Logged
Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline miskie

  • Mailman for the VRWC
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10461
  • Reputation: +1035/-54
  • Make America Great Again. Deport some DUmmies.
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2011, 09:34:44 AM »
And by pure coincidence, there is another entry in The Big Book of Poetry...

Quote from: Another Grift
My Poem for Cinco De Mayo: Another Grift
 I am angry at every carnie
who has given us
ring toss

That grift

brings so much pain
to me
im not lucky enough

to win
that poster

or goldfish
or justin bieber bobble head,
shucks.

So I say to carnies

Eff you
for your grift I always fall for.

At least I have my flatware to comfort me
and running, nipple shaped sore~

And dumplings.


© 2011 M.
Logged

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1998/-134
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2011, 09:47:40 AM »
Calpiggy poetry always brings tears to my eyes....like pickled boiled egg and beer farts.
Logged
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2011, 10:54:37 AM »
It occurred to me how ironic it is to celebrate Mother's Day at the DUmp. As home base for a political movement stained by the oceans of blood shed by tens of mllions of innocent babies, you'd think they would slink back into a darkened recess somewhere, while normal people honor their mothers.

But no, a few babykillers speak up:
Quote
REP  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 04:17 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Insulting us is especially ok today - not that I really care, because I'll be having a great day
Without children in my small, pale, sad world


Quote
darkstar3  (1000+ posts)        Sun May-08-11 04:26 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I know the feeling. 
I never considered a nice, quiet Sunday to be small, pale, and sad, but hey, what do I know?

Logged

Offline Evil_Conservative

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7845
  • Reputation: +554/-194
  • Oh snap!
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2011, 11:29:26 AM »
For ****s face...

I am grateful

For my daughter

But she never sleeps

And kicks me in the stomach

Head

Face

Boobs

Etc

I love my daughter still

She is too cute


That's my poem.  :whatever:
Logged
You may call me Jessica or Jess.

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2011, 03:47:51 PM »
Quote from: Evil_Conservative on May 08, 2011, 11:29:26 AM
For ****s face...

An H5 for the proper terms!
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2011, 03:56:32 PM »
It just dawned on me, about that little squiggly punctuation mark the CalPig used, "~".

After all, this is the CalPig. It has to be a sperm.
Logged

Offline FreeBorn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2779
  • Reputation: +257/-45
  • Semper Fidelis
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2011, 04:18:00 PM »
We should just be thankful for the little blessings that are CalPig's poems (and thank the good Lord she doesn't sing!).

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFHz9nLfP5Q[/youtube]
Logged


"How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin; And how do you tell an anti-communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin." ~Ronald Reagan

Offline delilahmused

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7384
  • Reputation: +1367/-80
  • Devil Mom
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2011, 04:40:26 PM »
You know on my Marine moms email list there are mothers practically crying tears of joy because they got to talk to their deployed children and thanking God for such a blessing. And then there's these ungrateful bitches being offended because someone wrote a really bad poem about motherhood.

Cindie
Logged
"If God built me a ladder to heaven, I would climb it and elbow drop the world."
Mick Foley

"I am a very good shot. I have hunted for every kind of animal. But I would never kill an animal during mating season."
Hedy Lamarr

"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
Morticia Addams

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2011, 04:43:44 PM »
Nancy Pelosi chose today to send out a mass email demanding unrestricted access to abortion.

Happy Mother's Day.

Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline delilahmused

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7384
  • Reputation: +1367/-80
  • Devil Mom
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2011, 05:00:02 PM »
I am SO ****ing sick of them calling murder "reproductive health" or "reproductive rights". The only thing being reproduced is a constant stream of dead babies. They should at least have the guts to call it an abortion but they don't even have the courage to do that.

Cindie
Logged
"If God built me a ladder to heaven, I would climb it and elbow drop the world."
Mick Foley

"I am a very good shot. I have hunted for every kind of animal. But I would never kill an animal during mating season."
Hedy Lamarr

"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
Morticia Addams

Offline Ballygrl

  • Lipstick Renegade
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14934
  • Reputation: +983/-120
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2011, 05:12:11 PM »
So if having a child is a "gift of love" then can we assume having an abortion is a "gift of hate"?
Logged
Quote
"The nation that couldn’t be conquered by foreign enemies has been conquered by its elected officials" odawg Free Republic in reference to the GOP Elites who are no difference than the Democrats

Offline delilahmused

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7384
  • Reputation: +1367/-80
  • Devil Mom
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2011, 05:15:22 PM »
Quote from: Ballygrl on May 08, 2011, 05:12:11 PM
So if having a child is a "gift of love" then can we assume having an abortion is a "gift of hate"?

I guess that would depend...given a choice between having a DUmmie for a parent or being in Heaven? Think I'd choose Jesus!

Cindie
Logged
"If God built me a ladder to heaven, I would climb it and elbow drop the world."
Mick Foley

"I am a very good shot. I have hunted for every kind of animal. But I would never kill an animal during mating season."
Hedy Lamarr

"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."
Morticia Addams

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17752
  • Reputation: +1895/-81
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2011, 07:44:59 AM »
Quote from: delilahmused on May 08, 2011, 05:00:02 PM
I am SO ****ing sick of them calling murder "reproductive health" or "reproductive rights". Cindie

What's even more insidious is when they call it "women's health care."  How could anybody possibly be against that? 

The poem is the ususal trite, cliched drivel.  I refuse to go over and see the asskissery and the "I wept copious tears of gratitude for your awesome poem, CalPeg!"  Followed by the "My dear blah blah." 
Logged

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #18 on: May 09, 2011, 09:37:17 AM »
The poetry by the people here by Jess, miskie, and Chuck J is so much better than any CalPig effort. Even though Jess overlooked the little squiggly thing, she compensated beautifully by remembering FFF. I am weeping.
Logged

Offline Evil_Conservative

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7845
  • Reputation: +554/-194
  • Oh snap!
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #19 on: May 09, 2011, 08:05:35 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on May 09, 2011, 09:37:17 AM
The poetry by the people here by Jess, miskie, and Chuck J is so much better than any CalPig effort. Even though Jess overlooked the little squiggly thing, she compensated beautifully by remembering FFF. I am weeping.

My next poem will have a squiggly line.
Logged
You may call me Jessica or Jess.

Offline true_blood

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6221
  • Reputation: +652/-817
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #20 on: May 09, 2011, 08:08:12 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on May 08, 2011, 08:54:53 AM
I just flushed a better "poem", and it smelled better.
HA HA! :-)
Logged

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2011, 08:14:02 PM »
I'm strongly considering hunting GOBUCKS down if he ever posts another calpiggy "poem".
Borrowed time, you stink-bug!!
Don't do that again!1!1

Rotten bastage
Logged
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Vagabond

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2478
  • Reputation: +166/-52
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #22 on: May 09, 2011, 09:28:34 PM »
Will somebody please

explain

Why placing random
breaks in

sentences
makes it

poetry?~
Logged
There comes a time when even good men must run up the black flag of anarchy and slit throats. - H.L. Mencken

Offline thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 40571
  • Reputation: +2224/-127
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2011, 09:37:34 PM »
Quote from: Vagabond on May 09, 2011, 09:28:34 PM
Will somebody please

explain

Why placing random
breaks in

sentences
makes it

poetry?~


It.

Just.

Does.
Logged

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: Plop!! A New CalPig Poem For Mother's Day
« Reply #24 on: May 09, 2011, 09:44:26 PM »
Blink~
Blink~
Blink~
Blink~
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »