Author Topic: The 6 Most Ingenious Misuses of Military Hardware...  (Read 1197 times)

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Offline DefiantSix

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The 6 Most Ingenious Misuses of Military Hardware...
« on: March 16, 2011, 10:42:16 AM »
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War is serious business. Life-and-death stuff. Brutal, bloody and unrelenting. But who says it can't also be fun?! Whether it's fryin' up some bacon, going sledding, or just taking the gang out for ice cream, here are six ingenious uses of combat equipment that prove a little war is no excuse to go without a party.

<snip.
#2.   Mail via Cruise Missile



The Cold War was all about the cruise missile: It was the great transcontinental dick-waving yardstick. It looked like a dick, it was fired out of a nuclear submarine (which was just another, larger dick) and then it blew up anybody bold enough to question the size of your dick. It was a spinning phallus of explosive death, is what we're saying here -- and when you saw one coming, you knew the end was near. Well, either "the end," or a postcard from Grandma.

Wait, what?

Cruise missiles were once used to deliver the mail. It was Postmaster General Arthur E. Summerfield who proposed the most logical solution to America's apparently cripplingly slow mail problem in the late 1950s. He was the first man who dared to ask: "Trains? Wait, why don't we just rocket that shit?"

Taking time out from its busy schedule of threatening communism and looking like a big metal dong, the Regulus missile was drafted by Summerfield to deliver the post ... from a submarine in the middle of the ocean. Wait -- why a submarine, and not just a boat? It's like they're just adding shit at this point because it sounds cool.

The United States Postal Service, in what was certainly its first and possibly its last dabble in explosive awesomeness, saw no significant problem with the plan. It took the USS Barbero out into the Atlantic and fired a cruise missile straight at a major population center -- all in order to deliver about 3,000 letters.


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:lol:
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here."
-- Capt. John Parker

"I'm not looking for forgiveness, and I'm way past asking permission"
-- Capt. Steve Rogers

"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem, government IS the problem."
-- Ronaldus Magnus

Offline thundley4

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Re: The 6 Most Ingenious Misuses of Military Hardware...
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2011, 10:48:50 AM »
Without looking, Cracked?

Offline DefiantSix

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Re: The 6 Most Ingenious Misuses of Military Hardware...
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2011, 10:52:29 AM »
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here."
-- Capt. John Parker

"I'm not looking for forgiveness, and I'm way past asking permission"
-- Capt. Steve Rogers

"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem, government IS the problem."
-- Ronaldus Magnus