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Author Topic: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!  (Read 8114 times)

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Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« on: March 14, 2011, 10:57:09 AM »
Like, this is the GR8TST thing that has EVR happened to moi!!!!!!

Lisa has given me permission to leave her and the kids in order to devote the rest of my life to becoming Jason Statham's total gay boitoi!!!!

Okay, enough nonsense...

Just finished watching all three Transporter movies (having never seen any of them before), and I gotta say it, Statham is the shit, and the candy-assed Bostonian sissy (aka Matt Damon) who weakly portrayed Bourne needs to take a big, honking whiff.

I can't believe he wasn't even ****ing considered to be Bond, but in all honesty, I certainly understand why Craig got the nod, given the uber-violence Statham happily dishes out, and the fact that Ian Fleming was a well-known poof.

Just have to say it, kids: If I didn't love the va-jay-jay as much as I do, I could easily see myself spending the next 5 years rubbing this bad-assed mofo's feet in exchange for close-combat fighting lessons (or his agent and trainer's phone numbers).

Say what you will, a conservative acknowledges excellence...only the libtard rewards projection.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2011, 10:59:17 AM by The Hollywood NeoCon »
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2011, 10:59:56 AM »
Quote from: The Hollywood NeoCon on March 14, 2011, 10:57:09 AM
Like, this is the GR8TST thing that has EVR happened to moi!!!!!!

Lisa has given me permission to leave her and the kids in order to devote the rest of my life to becoming Jason Statham's total gay boitoi!!!!

Okay, enough nonsense...

Just finished watching all three Transporter movies (having never seen any of them before), and I gotta say it, Statham is the shit, and the candy-assed Bostonian sissy (aka Matt Damon) who weakly portrayed Bourne needs to take a big, honking whiff.

I can't believe he wasn't even ****ing considered to be Bond, but in all honesty, I certainly understand why Craig got the nod, given the uber-violence Statham happily dishes out.

Just have to say it, kids: If I didn't love the va-jay-jay as much as I do, I could easily see myself spending the next 5 years rubbing this bad-assed mofo's feet in exchange for close-combat fighting lessons (or his agent and trainer's phone numbers).

Say what you will, a conservative acknowledges excellence...only the libtard rewards projection.

Have I mentioned yet, that it's good to have you back, even if the time off has made you a bit fruity?   :-)  This place was damned boring without you, HNC. :cheers1:
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Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2011, 11:00:53 AM »
Quote from: DefiantSix on March 14, 2011, 10:59:56 AM
Have I mentioned yet, that it's good to have you back, even if the time off has made you a bit fruity?   :-)  This place was damned boring without you, HNC. :cheers1:

Fruity hell....don't EVER trust me around your women.  :-) :cheersmate:
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2011, 11:02:06 AM »
Quote from: The Hollywood NeoCon on March 14, 2011, 11:00:53 AM
Fruity hell....don't EVER trust me around your women.  :-) :cheersmate:

You can't have him, Jason that is.   Because he is already spoken for.   :drool:


I have first dibs.  I declared em a long time ago!
« Last Edit: March 14, 2011, 11:05:49 AM by IassaFTots »
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Offline Thor

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2011, 11:02:36 AM »
Quote from: The Hollywood NeoCon on March 14, 2011, 11:00:53 AM
Fruity hell....don't EVER trust me around your women.  :-) :cheersmate:

Why?? You ain't all THAT!!  :tongue:
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Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2011, 11:07:59 AM »
Quote from: Thor on March 14, 2011, 11:02:36 AM
Why?? You ain't all THAT!!  :tongue:

Bullshit.

Just ask Brunhilda why the **** she's still pissed at men after 2000 ****ing years.  :lmao:
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Offline dutch508

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2011, 11:15:24 AM »
Quote from: The Hollywood NeoCon on March 14, 2011, 10:57:09 AM
Like, this is the GR8TST thing that has EVR happened to moi!!!!!!

Blaa Blaa Bla... total gay boitoi!!!!...blaa blaa blaa...


Crocs.


nuf' said.
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Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2011, 11:19:28 AM »
Quote from: dutch508 on March 14, 2011, 11:15:24 AM
Crocs.


nuf' said.

Barbie Benton's Playboy centerfold and an old gym sock were witnesses at my first orgasm, you miserable old shit.

So there.  :-) :cheersmate:
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2011, 11:19:42 AM »
Quote from: DefiantSix on March 14, 2011, 10:59:56 AM
Have I mentioned yet, that it's good to have you back, even if the time off has made you a bit fruity?   :-)  This place was damned boring without you, HNC. :cheers1:

Whaddya mean, "MADE HIM?"  He wears ****ING CROCS, for Chrissakes.

Oh, and just to give you a little shower-nozzle masturbation material, HNC:

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Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2011, 11:23:27 AM »
Say that to his face, smartasses...

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpwhSTjLHDY[/youtube]

 :-)
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2011, 11:33:30 AM »
What, Kevin Pollak?  He's a *****.  And you're the one rubbing it out in the shower to Jason Statham, bro--not me.
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“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2011, 11:39:03 AM »
Quote from: NHSparky on March 14, 2011, 11:33:30 AM
What, Kevin Pollak?  He's a *****.  And you're the one rubbing it out in the shower to Jason Statham, bro--not me.

No need for Lord Statham to make such a vulgar rebuttal, my East Coast friend.

If he doesn't command your respect, then perhaps you'd prefer seeing the Thames for yourself.

Under water.

Tied to a stack of bricks, you impudent whelp!  :-) :cheersmate: :fuelfire: :tongue:
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2011, 11:41:49 AM »
Been to London, wasn't all that impressed, thanks very much.  

You know the food sucks when you find yourself at the Hard Rock TWICE in the same week.

ETA: I may reside on the East Coast now, but I'm a very rare individual, one you'll not likely encounter in your travels about town...a NATIVE Californian.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2011, 11:43:59 AM by NHSparky »
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“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2011, 11:46:31 AM »
Quote from: NHSparky on March 14, 2011, 11:41:49 AM

ETA: I may reside on the East Coast now, but I'm a very rare individual, one you'll not likely encounter in your travels about town...a NATIVE Californian.

Sparky, I hope you already know that I hold you in that high a regard. You're my homie, Spark!  :-) :cheersmate: :cheersmate: :cheersmate: :cheersmate:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2011, 12:14:57 PM »
Quote from: The Hollywood NeoCon on March 14, 2011, 11:46:31 AM
Sparky, I hope you already know that I hold you in that high a regard. You're my homie, Spark!  :-) :cheersmate: :cheersmate: :cheersmate: :cheersmate:

Can we dispense with the on-line blowjobs? Twice in the same thread? Statham and now Sparky?

Damn. Get a room, already.

 :-)
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Offline debk

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2011, 12:35:38 PM »
This thread is going to end up in the short bus before long. :o

This is going to require a martini to go with my  :popcorn:
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Offline mamacags

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2011, 01:56:01 PM »
You all can bite my fat Jason Statham obsessed ass.  I have seen EVERY movie he has ever made including Revolver and In The Name of the King.  Now that is dedication and love because believe me those were two of the worst movies ever in the history of all mankind.  I saw Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels when it was released on VHS.  That is all it took.  My hubby knows my obsession.  He feels the same about that big boobied Selma girl.  I will fight you all to the death for a chance to smell his fromunda cheese!
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Offline Eupher

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2011, 01:59:57 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on March 14, 2011, 01:56:01 PM
You all can bite my fat Jason Statham obsessed ass.  I have seen EVERY movie he has ever made including Revolver and In The Name of the King.  Now that is dedication and love because believe me those were two of the worst movies ever in the history of all mankind.  I saw Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels when it was released on VHS.  That is all it took.  My hubby knows my obsession.  He feels the same about that big boobied Selma girl.  I will fight you all to the death for a chance to smell his fromunda cheese!

Uh......Mama?  I ain't gonna fight you for any of that there cheese, because I don't intend to get close to it to begin with. You'll have to go toe to toe with Gina, because I'm quite sure she'd put the gloves on for a whiff of that stuff.
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Offline mamacags

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2011, 02:02:03 PM »
Gina would be like stepping on an ant.  I am a super evil conservative republican gun owning tea party supporter in the North.  It takes so much at this point to even phase me she would be dead before I even woke from my nap.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2011, 02:03:28 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on March 14, 2011, 02:02:03 PM
Gina would be like stepping on an ant.  I am a super evil conservative republican gun owning tea party supporter in the North.  It takes so much at this point to even phase me she would be dead before I even woke from my nap.

Gina? Looks to me like the gauntlet just got throwed, and it bitchslapped you right in the chops.

Whatchoo gonna do about it?  :popcorn:
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Offline mamacags

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2011, 02:05:03 PM »
She knows Eupher.  She may bring it a little with nasty pictures she steals off the internet but when it all boils down to ass hair and sweat she runs like a hippie runs from a shower.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2011, 02:18:09 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on March 14, 2011, 02:05:03 PM
She knows Eupher.  She may bring it a little with nasty pictures she steals off the internet but when it all boils down to ass hair and sweat she runs like a hippie runs from a shower.

Ass hair? Sweat?

Aren't we back to fromunda cheese?
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2011, 02:18:44 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on March 14, 2011, 01:56:01 PM
You all can bite my fat Jason Statham obsessed ass.  I have seen EVERY movie he has ever made including Revolver and In The Name of the King.  Now that is dedication and love because believe me those were two of the worst movies ever in the history of all mankind.  I saw Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels when it was released on VHS.  That is all it took.  My hubby knows my obsession.  He feels the same about that big boobied Selma girl.  I will fight you all to the death for a chance to smell his fromunda cheese!

But did you see Dungeon Siege????
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Offline mamacags

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2011, 02:23:33 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on March 14, 2011, 02:18:44 PM
But did you see Dungeon Siege????

The full title is In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  So yes.  I saw it.  The whole thing.  I didn't even burn my DVD player after it was done.  I win.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: OMG!!! I'm SOOOOOO happy!!! I have permission to blow Jasan Statham!!!!
« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2011, 02:27:11 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on March 14, 2011, 02:23:33 PM
The full title is In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  So yes.  I saw it.  The whole thing.  I didn't even burn my DVD player after it was done.  I win.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/

I own it.   :-)
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“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent
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