Author Topic: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table  (Read 2474 times)

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Offline Lord Undies

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Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« on: March 28, 2008, 08:51:16 PM »
Quote
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=8082496


Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40,
was seen on four occasions between the hours
of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table.





BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.

"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.

"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

I wonder if the kids have four legs and an enamel finish like their mama?


Offline Dixie*Darling

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2008, 08:53:53 PM »
Freak!  :bird:

Offline jtyangel

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2008, 08:54:21 PM »
I don't think he has a leg to stand on.  :uhsure:


As a side note, why didn't he just take the damn umbrella thingy in the friggin house and do his business? geez...

Offline DixieBelle

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2008, 08:57:27 PM »
Well I saw "Bellevue" and thought he was in the nuthouse and that this was going to be a sad story about some deranged nut. Sadly, it's a story about a deranged nut who hasn't been tagged and bagged yet. YIKES.
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Offline LadyLiberty

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2008, 09:24:17 PM »
Of all the things to lay witness to...that is just nutso.

I wonder if NAMBLA and/or the ACLU will rush in to try to save his sorry ass.
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Offline Carl

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2008, 09:27:44 PM »
Good Lord...just why?? :censored:

Offline LadyLiberty

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2008, 09:29:45 PM »
He musn't be all that endowed, either.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2008, 01:17:45 AM »
WTF??????????????????????? This must be a case of tablephilia!
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2008, 02:10:56 AM »
Having been to Bellevue (WA), if it's anything like Bellevue (OH), doinking tables is probably PREFERABLE to doinking the creatures that pass for women.

After all, they don't call them "Bangorillas", "Bremelos", or "Bremosaurases" for nuthin.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2008, 09:06:58 AM »
If this goes to court, the perv willl just try to table the motion.   :-)
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