Mrs. Alfred Packer loves her new cooking implement

[franksolich]

I think that Frank took some literary license when he told you all that Bill gives Hippywife a counterfeit $10 bill, while confiscating her paycheck.

I think.

Of course it's poetic license, or exaggeration, madam, just as the part in Christmas with Grandma, where it's mentioned Wild Bill keeps her shoes locked up, so she can't run away.

The point being in actual fact that Mrs. Alfred Packer is no "liberated" woman.

Of course, she's also a prisoner of her own bigotry and intolerance, which keep her down more firmly than a domineering husband could.  Note, please, that Mrs. Alfred Packer is surrounded by hordes of wonderful people, remarkable people, decent and civilized people, the strong stalwart good-hearted people of northeastern Oklahoma, but she loathes them.

One wonders how many times the hand of friendship has been offered to Mrs. Alfred Packer, and she bit it.

[crockspot]

Thanks to Frank, I picture Hippywife's husband in lipstick, wearing a suit made from the skins on plus sized women, looking at himself in the mirror and saying seductively, "I would f*ck me". 

[franksolich]

Thanks to Frank, I picture Hippywife's husband in lipstick, wearing a suit made from the skins on plus sized women, looking at himself in the mirror and saying seductively, "I would f*ck me". 

Actually, sir, Mrs. Alfred Packer posted a photograph of hippyhubby Wild Bill a week or ten days ago, and Wild Bill looks like an old hippie, pretty much the way I always saw him.

I'm now wondering if hippyhubby Wild Bill might not be illiterate, too.

Remember, Mrs. Alfred Packer and Wild Bill don't "do Christmas," on the insistence of the domineering misanthrope Wild Bill (where in the civilized world is there a woman who doesn't like to do Christmas?).

The hippycouple instead spent last Christmas listening to a "talking book" from a program on National Public Radio.

It seems to me only two sorts of people would use "talking books."

The blind, and the illiterate.

It's reasonable to assume that Wild Bill isn't blind, so.....

[Ballygrl]

Actually, sir, Mrs. Alfred Packer posted a photograph of hippyhubby Wild Bill a week or ten days ago, and Wild Bill looks like an old hippie, pretty much the way I always saw him.

I'm now wondering if hippyhubby Wild Bill might not be illiterate, too.

Remember, Mrs. Alfred Packer and Wild Bill don't "do Christmas," on the insistence of the domineering misanthrope Wild Bill (where in the civilized world is there a woman who doesn't like to do Christmas?).

The hippycouple instead spent last Christmas listening to a "talking book" from a program on National Public Radio.

It seems to me only two sorts of people would use "talking books."

The blind, and the illiterate.

It's reasonable to assume that Wild Bill isn't blind, so.....

This just keeps getting sadder and sadder, they don't celebrate Christmas?

[franksolich]

This just keeps getting sadder and sadder, they don't celebrate Christmas?

No way.

You, madam, apparently never read Christmas at Grandma's.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38146.0

This story was from last December, and was just a rough draft; the late lamented Tangerine LaBamba had inspired me to write it, and I had just sent her this first draft for her professional opinion (for considerable revision and much polishing), when alas the late lamented Tangerine LaBamba departed this time and place, for the Eternal One.

The late lamented Tangerine LaBamba and franksolich got the same idea at the same time, when around Thanksgiving 2009, Mrs. Alfred Packer (at the time still "Grandma," as at the time franksolich still thought the "hippywife" primitive a peach of a banana, thought the world of her), started sounding a little bit too defensive about not doing Christmas.

[franksolich]

This just keeps getting sadder and sadder, they don't celebrate Christmas?

For your further illumination, madam, these were other observations of Mrs. Alfred Packer, by the prescient Tangerine LaBamba:

Hippywife.  She needs to have her hands duct-taped behind her back while she's forced to watch the destruction of her keyboard and the donation of her computer to a good charity, something having to do with homeless kids - that would be my preference.

.....Hippywife chimed in with the idea that she, the cancer patient, had to eat organic - everything organic.  I chimed in with the observation that not everyone had physical proximity to stores or coops or farms that sold organic goods; nor could everyone afford it, that some people lived on food stamps, and that wasn't any kind of money that could allow people to live on organic food.

Hippywife went ****ing nuts.  Out of her mind.  Because I had used the phrase - trite as it is - "not everyone has the luxury of being able to afford organic foods," the woman posted about half a dozen photographs of her home to show me that "I don't live in the lap of luxury," which wasn't at all what I had written.  She also wrote long descriptions of each photograph, each more uninteresting than the other.

That was when I started getting PMs that Hippywife (who misspelled "hippie" and just labeled herself as a woman with a large pelvis and, perhaps, trouble getting through doorways) was a woman who had previously written about her bi-polar problems, her unfortunate family history, and how badly she behaved when she ran out of money to buy her medication.

But she pointed out to me that there were organic meat places that took food stamps - yeah, with beef at $14/lb.  I pointed out to her that that wasn't realistic thinking, and she went insane on me.

Disappeared for a while.   Had the mods take down the whole photo and commentary extravaganza.  It was nice without her.  We had fun.  Then she returned, and my pal, Shakepeare, a very nice broad, said "**** this," and quit DU.  I missed her.  She was very smart.

[Ballygrl]

That is so sad.

[franksolich]

That is so sad.

But it's Mrs. Alfred Packer's own fault.

With her large and loving and caring family up in Ohio, she was obviously destined to be the maiden aunt, the one whom nieces and nephews remember fondly.  And one of the spinster "church ladies," who decorate the altar at Christmas and Easter, and play bridge with the priest's housekeeper.

Spinster "church ladies" (at least in the church Mrs. Alfred Packer and franksolich were born) always fixed the best chow at church potluck dinners.

That appears to have been the fate for Mrs. Alfred Packer, but no, Mrs. Alfred Packer didn't want that.

When one goes against one's destiny, one really screws things up.