Author Topic: Dummy with a sense of humor - 50 Suggestions For John McCain's VP Pick  (Read 866 times)

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Offline miskie

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Its a rare thing to find humor in DUmmieland nowadays, and frankly, several of these suggestions made me Laugh.. :D good on you Parche.

Quote from: DU Parche
Parche  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
Thu Mar-13-08 07:00 PM

Original message
50 Suggestions For John McCain's VP Pick


WARREN BUFFET. World's richest man can't hurt, in case the campaign needs a loan. Or the country.
JAMES EARL JONES. The most trusted voice in show business.
DAN QUAYLE. Knows the drill.
ED MCMAHON. Knows the drill AND he knows the intro: "Here's Joohhhnyyyyyy."
RONALD REAGAN. Quit *****footing around. It's what the base wants. Who cares if he's dead? How much less animated is that from his second term?
JEB BUSH. Ups the Bush streak to seven of last eight GOP tickets.
JOE LIEBERMAN. Invests campaign with bipartisan spin. Also returns "Joementum to national lexicon.
KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON. Takes "woman" thing out of play.
CINDY MCCAIN. Takes "woman" thing out of play, and keeps it in the family.
COLIN POWELL. Takes "black" thing out of play.
CONDOLEEZZA RICE. Takes "woman and black" things out of play.
GEORGE CLOONEY. Takes "woman" thing out of play.
JOAN RIVERS. Takes "old" thing out of play. "Woman" thing still in play.
LARRY KING. Takes "old" and "woman" things out of play.
ANDY ROONEY. Really takes "old" thing out of play. No, really.
ALAN GREENSPAN. Wasn't everything a whole lot better when he was in charge? And takes "old" thing out of play.
MARY CHENEY. Takes "lesbian" and "unwed mother" things out of play.
DICK CHENEY. What the hell. Something to be said for continuity.
FRED THOMPSON. Throws a bone to the conservative wing and makes candidate appear vibrant.
REGIS PHILBIN. A touch of Hollywood. Old Hollywood, but Hollywood nonetheless.
MIKE HUCKABEE. Plays popular former governor of Arkansas card.
RUDY GIULIANI. Sop to huge pro- choice, pro- gay rights, pro- gun control wing of the GOP. Not to mention NEW YORK.
HILLARY CLINTON. Wants it so bad, she'd cross the aisle for death- watch slot.
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG. Independents? You want independents? We got your independents right here.
MIA HAMM. Soccer Moms? You want soccer moms? We got your soccer moms right here.
DALE EARNHARDT JR. NASCAR dads? You want NASCAR dads? We got your NASCAR dads right here.
RON PAUL. Two words. Texas Dammit.
TOM CRUISE. Scientologists are to Republicans what vegans are to hippies.
ADMIRAL STOCKDALE. Because America loves second chances.
CHUCK NORRIS. Locks down Huckabee contingent and firms up "Total Kick Ass" presidential ticket.
ELIOT SPITZER Because America loves second chances.
THE VERIZON "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW" GUY. Brings huge network with him.
PAT ROBERTSON. You want to suck up to the Christian Right. Then suck up to the Christian Right.
MITT ROMNEY. Just to exploit the incredible chemistry between the two.
CHER. Campaign will never suffer from lack of wigs.
BRETT FAVRE. Terrific name recognition. Needs a job. Sews up Wisconsin and Mississippi.
JOHN MADDEN. Who doesn't love John Madden? Brings total telestrator dominance to ticket.
KEIFER SUTHERLAND. What right winger doesn't love Jack Bauer? Torture question becomes moot.
TED WILLIAMS' HEAD. Future focused. Travel costs slashed. Low maintenance.
RUSH LIMBAUGH. If you can't beat them, conjoin them.
WILLIE NELSON. You have any idea of what percentage of this country smokes pot?
SNOOP DOG. Puts the shasizzle back in the campaignizzle.
STEPHEN HAWKING. Not American born. But who would quibble with smartest man in the world?
DONALD TRUMP. Makes everyone look humanoid in comparison.
SONNY VON BULOW. Like Terry Shiavo, only alive. And rich.
KARL ROVE. Assassination insurance.
DONALD RUMSFELD. See Karl Rove.
NEWT GINGRICH. See Karl Rove.
JACK KEVORKIAN. Looking to enter politics and makes top of the ticket lovable and youthful and animated. Also, see Karl Rove.
G. GORDON LIDDY. Because there comes a time when every president needs a human firewall.


Offline RedTail

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That WAS funny. :)

Probably took their humor ration for the election cycle.

*TKay*

Offline Splashdown

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That was funny.  :-)
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



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Offline miskie

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It seems we find it funnier then the rest of the hive does.. Its sinking like a stone over there...

Offline PatriotGame

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It was funny although I would have liked Regis doing something like: "Bomb Iran AND round up the DUmmys" Is that your final answer?"
           ►☼Liberals Are THE Root of ALL Evil!☼◄

Offline Chris_

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I liked the one for George Clooney.   :lmao:
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline dandi

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It seems we find it funnier then the rest of the hive does.. Its sinking like a stone over there...

There will be no humor tolerated in the GD/GD:P forums until after the general election. Laughter will prompt a visit from the Morale Suppression Team. :hammer:
I don't want...anybody else
When I think about me I touch myself

Offline Zeus

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It is said that branches draw their life from the vine. Each is separate yet all are one as they share one life giving stem . The Bible tells us we are called to a similar union in life, our lives with the life of God. We are incorporated into him; made sharers in his life. Apart from this union we can do nothing.