Doug's ex
Of all the 5,000+ primitives on Skins's island, Doug's ex-wife, undeniably the stupidest person on the whole entire internet, is the primitive with whom I'm the most intimate.
It's almost as if we're married.
It happened because during the Scamdal five years ago, various people were "assigned" to check into each of the scamming primitives--assigned to read all of their internet postings,
not to check on their non-internet lives--and I drew one long straw and one short straw, my fellow alum Skins and Doug's then-wife.
The person who got the Bostonian Drunkard later suffered brain paralysis, but that's another story altogether.
I get tired of Doug's ex-wife at times, and wish she'd just evaporate, but at the same time, I know that if that happened, there'd be a gap in this life.