Author Topic: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)  (Read 4384 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2010, 12:40:26 PM »
The Las Vegas Lardass really should give this up. There is no way in hell he is ever going to be anything but a huge quivering mass of raw blubber, so he may as well enjoy the time he has. He needs to stop this stupid diet business, because all it does is deprive him of the things normal humans enjoy. If he insists on a diet, don't follow Doctor MacDougall, make it Colonel Sanders. Jeanette the slave girl will keep toiling away, peddling cellphone plans and credit cards to addled widows, so money for the chow will be no problem. And he should continue to post his results at least weekly. Watching as the weight meter starts climbing toward four figures will be a lot more entertaining than listening to him whine the way he does now. It should take no more than three months for him to break through the 600-pound barrier. At that point, give Vince McMahon a call. Haystack Calhoun and Happy Humphrey made big money as professional wrestlers. All the Whale would need to do is come up with a signature move.

Offline franksolich

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #26 on: January 07, 2010, 01:33:44 PM »
The Las Vegas Lardass really should give this up.

I just don't think the gigantic primitive's serious about losing weight.

In fact, the gigantic primitive's being so silly and stupid about it, one might as well start writing his eulogy.

Again, the only thing that can save his life is forcible restraints.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline franksolich

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #27 on: January 07, 2010, 01:46:02 PM »
The good thing about this system is that only thing he will actually input is his food.  He'll wear the bodybugg device on his arm and it will track his actual calorie expenditure, not his estimates.

The magic computer's not going to help him.

Computers are tools, not ends; notice how instead of using computer games as a trivial diversion, they occupy his life, isolating him from other people.

They're something one uses to help in daily life, not to substitute for daily life.

I have a sense the gigantic primitive stays at home all day long, never goes out.

And that's a big part of his problem.

The gigantic primitive dealt cards at casinos for many years, during which time he surely must have formed associations and friendships with coworkers.  He should hop into the hand-bus and go down where he used to work, to see what's up, and pal around a little with his former co-workers.

I dunno if there's other primitives on Skins's island from Last Vegas, but it sure seems a lot of primitives go there.  The cross-eyed Iowa primitive from Denver, the rather hefty and four-eyed "Hawkeye-X" primitive, was there over Thanksgiving during the flooding fiasco at the gigantic primitive's place, and it seems rude the cross-eyed Iowa primitive didn't call, or the gigantic primitive didn't call.

And then the Die alte Sau, the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher, and her husband were in Last Vegas over Christmas.....

The gigantic primitive needs to get out more.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #28 on: January 07, 2010, 01:51:30 PM »
He really should look into the wrestling deal. He's a dead ringer for Haystack Calhoun already. If he puts on a couple hundred more pounds, he could be a headliner, for a few years until his heart explodes, which it's gonna do anyway.

Offline franksolich

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #29 on: January 07, 2010, 01:55:18 PM »
He really should look into the wrestling deal. He's a dead ringer for Haystack Calhoun already. If he puts on a couple hundred more pounds, he could be a headliner, for a few years until his heart explodes, which it's gonna do anyway.

Well, the 56-year-old 404-pound guy who shovels grain at the local elevator here five and a half days a week, goes to shoot the breeze at the local bar or VFW Club for a couple of hours after work nearly every day; he also goes to the big city to shop around with the wife, and to church every Sunday.

That's what the gigantic primitive needs to do; short-circuit the computer games and toys, and go out more.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline happy1ga

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #30 on: January 07, 2010, 07:41:10 PM »
A large number of obese people end up with severe yeast strains in those skin folds that turn into very nasty rashes. They then turn into staph infections. If he is serious that they are as bad as he claims, he needs to be treating them with antibiotics. Or I should say, his health provider should be.
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as caring and sensitive because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he is willing to do good with other people's money. Well, who isn't? And a voter who takes pride in supporting such programs is telling us that he will do good with his own money— if a gun is held to his head.

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #31 on: January 07, 2010, 07:55:27 PM »
A large number of obese people end up with severe yeast strains in those skin folds
They are also a danger to small pets. LVL is still looking for his puppy.


Offline PatriotGame

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #32 on: January 07, 2010, 10:21:22 PM »

The guy's not serious about losing weight.

An idea I proposed last week is starting to sound better and better; having Jeanette lock him up in a cage, and giving him a bowl of cold gruel every day, and an apple every third Sunday.

I'm thinking we force him into the Auschwitz diet.
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Offline vlad335

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #33 on: January 08, 2010, 04:02:39 AM »

By the way, putting corn starch under the belly flap might work.

And corn starch is dirt cheap; no need to buy any of this chemical junk.

Exactly right. The problem is caused by excess moisture trapped in there. Eucerin cream is a moisturizer! Doh! It's like pouring gasoline on a fire.

However, If it is breaking down and getting more inflamed most likely he is getting a fungal infection. A prescription powder called Nystatin alternating with cornstarch several times a day with cleansing will clear this right up. If this is progressing further into cellulitis as the above poster mentioned, then he had better get some medical help. Preferably by someone other than the prescriber of the Eucerin.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2010, 04:11:11 AM by vlad335 »

Offline LC EFA

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2010, 04:31:50 AM »
...

By the way, putting corn starch under the belly flap might work.

And corn starch is dirt cheap; no need to buy any of this chemical junk.

He could probably just put a couple of cups of corn under there.

Friction and pressure would yield corn starch in a matter of hours.

Offline franksolich

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #35 on: January 08, 2010, 07:07:20 AM »
He could probably just put a couple of cups of corn under there.

Friction and pressure would yield corn starch in a matter of hours.

I'm assuming chafing is something similar with diaper rash; the former's never been a problem for me (I assume diaper rash was, but I wouldn't know), but around here, people were using corn starch instead of chemicalized baby powder since pioneer days.

The 404-pound 56-year-old guy who shovels grain at the local grain elevator five and a half days a week swears by corn starch; it's harmless and it's cheap.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Karin

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #36 on: January 08, 2010, 09:46:46 AM »
Gobucks,   :lmao: :rotf:

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #37 on: January 08, 2010, 11:08:43 AM »
He could probably just put a couple of cups of corn under there.

Friction and pressure would yield corn starch in a matter of hours.

He'd probably end up with corn bread down there.

Offline kenth

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #38 on: January 08, 2010, 11:11:44 AM »
He'd probably end up with corn bread down there.

 :rotf: and :puke:

Offline Wineslob

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Re: gigantic primitive frustrated; orders new computer toy (update 01-06)
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2010, 12:08:19 PM »
That one statement right there is why he hasn't lost more! I will guarantee he is eating twice the calories and carbohydrates he thinks he is!

This is very typical of obese people. One guy I saw on TV ate 2-3 whole chickens, a gallon of milk, and assorted mass ammounts of food in one sitting. He diden't think he "ate very much".
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