« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Britain Has a Clown Shortage  (Read 3517 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bijou

  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8937
  • Reputation: +336/-26
Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« on: March 06, 2009, 11:53:02 AM »
Quote
Circus performers can twist themselves into pretzels and somersault through rings of fire, but even they are struggling to jump through new hoops set up by the U.K. immigration authorities. In November, the British Home Office introduced a points-based system to crack down on illegal immigration and create what its web site describes as "a significantly more straightforward and transparent structure." It's easy enough for foreign trapeze artists and acrobats to secure the requisite points for entry into Britain based on their unique skills. But ringmasters say that various problems with the new system - including faulty computer software and poorly trained embassy staff - are preventing international talent from reaching Britain's big tops.

"My season started in February," says Martin Lacey, owner of the Great British Circus, "and I've got comedy acrobats stranded in the Ukraine, and Mongolian horse riders who were refused their visas in Ulan Batur." The holes in his lineup have forced Lacey to draft last-minute substitutes. "Our Mexican clown is stuck in Mexico, so we've got a trapeze artist pretending to be a stooge just to get everybody out of trouble," he says. "It's a mess."  ...
link


Oh what a shame. Not.  :-)
Logged


Offline Ptarmigan

  • Bunny Slayer
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24102
  • Reputation: +1019/-226
  • God Hates Bunnies
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2009, 11:58:39 AM »
Good.  :evillaugh:

Logged
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

Allow enemies their space to hate; they will destroy themselves in the process.
-Lisa Du

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2009, 12:34:54 PM »
Well thank God.
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2009, 12:38:36 PM »
People with sleep much easier with a clown shortage.

« Last Edit: March 06, 2009, 12:40:14 PM by Miss Mia »
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Splashdown

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6729
  • Reputation: +475/-100
  • Out of 9 lives, I spent 7
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2009, 12:40:15 PM »
Couldn't see that picture very well, Miss Mia, could you maybe make it a little larger?  :-)


Clowns scare me.
Logged
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



"No crushed ice; no peas." -- Undies

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2009, 12:41:05 PM »
Quote from: Splashdown on March 06, 2009, 12:40:15 PM
Couldn't see that picture very well, Miss Mia, could you maybe make it a little larger?  :-)


Clowns scare me.


Yeah, that's what I get for just stealing it from some website.  :thatsright:  I uploaded it to my photobucket and resized. 
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2009, 12:53:07 PM »
Quote
Britain Has a Clown Shortage

Guess that's what they get for stockpiling them all in the Labour Party of Parliament.

Maybe next time they'll learn...
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2009, 01:03:11 PM »
And here I thought it was just me...



Yes kids, Ouchy the Clown really DOES exist.  A DJ, dominant, and professionally certified meeting facilitator specializing in conflict resolution.

LINK

OUCHY'S WEBSITE--NSFW
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1710/-151
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2009, 02:18:11 PM »
Well, damn, Bijou, we have more than enough of them over here.  Mostly inside the Beltway.
Logged
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline bijou

  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8937
  • Reputation: +336/-26
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2009, 02:21:56 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on March 06, 2009, 01:03:11 PM
And here I thought it was just me...



Yes kids, Ouchy the Clown really DOES exist.  A DJ, dominant, and professionally certified meeting facilitator specializing in conflict resolution.

LINK

OUCHY'S WEBSITE--NSFW

Adult clown services?  Ewww. :puke:
Logged


Offline ReardenSteel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3462
  • Reputation: +204/-18
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2009, 03:14:58 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on March 06, 2009, 02:18:11 PM
Well, damn, Bijou, we have more than enough of them over here.  Mostly inside the Beltway.

I say send them Kucinich, Nancy Pelosi and Al Franken. Oh, and just to be fair to the Democrats we have to give up Arlen Specter, Olympia Snow and Susan Collins. That's an Insane Clown Posse + One Clown from Outer Space.

 :evillaugh:


On edit:

Sorry for getting political in the Lounge

« Last Edit: March 06, 2009, 03:19:09 PM by ReardenSteel »
Logged
"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Mr Mannn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14885
  • Reputation: +2648/-276
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2009, 04:48:15 PM »
Logged

Offline Mr Mannn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14885
  • Reputation: +2648/-276
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2009, 05:04:30 PM »
Logged

Offline Mr Mannn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14885
  • Reputation: +2648/-276
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2009, 05:05:51 PM »
Logged

Offline dutch508

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12575
  • Reputation: +1728/-1068
  • Remember
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2009, 05:12:16 PM »
we got a bunch of clowns running the government here. Maybe we could ship them a few?
Logged
The torch of moral clarity since 12/18/07

2016 DOTY: 06 Omaha Steve - Is dying for ****'s face! How could you not vote for him, you heartless bastards!?!

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2009, 05:21:32 PM »
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2009, 05:35:41 PM »
Quote from: bijou on March 06, 2009, 02:21:56 PM
Adult clown services?  Ewww. :puke:

Hey!

Not all of us were able to graduate from college ya'know. :(
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1998/-134
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #17 on: March 06, 2009, 06:28:25 PM »
Quote from: asdf2231 on March 06, 2009, 05:35:41 PM
Hey!

Not all of us were able to graduate from college ya'know. :(

Now that you mention it, that clown Obama never really proved he graduated either.

Wonder if his diploma is really from the clown school at HAA-vard?
Logged
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Splashdown

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6729
  • Reputation: +475/-100
  • Out of 9 lives, I spent 7
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2009, 08:56:59 PM »
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.




Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the street carrying a clown outfit in one of those plastic dry-cleaner bags?"

--Jack Handy
Logged
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



"No crushed ice; no peas." -- Undies

Offline Duke Nukum

  • Assistant Chair of the Committee on Neighborhood Services
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8015
  • Reputation: +561/-202
  • O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2009, 09:45:20 PM »
Quote from: bijou on March 06, 2009, 11:53:02 AM
link


Oh what a shame. Not.  :-)
That's because Obama appointed them all to his cabinet.
Logged
“A man who has been through bitter experiences and travelled far enjoys even his sufferings after a time”
― Homer, The Odyssey

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Britain Has a Clown Shortage
« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2009, 10:58:09 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on March 06, 2009, 06:28:25 PM
Now that you mention it, that clown Obama never really proved he graduated either.

Wonder if his diploma is really from the clown school at HAA-vard?

Is there another school with the name "Harvard" that he coulda grajiated from?  Kinda like his #1 cocksucker, Queef Ãœberdork?
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »