This is... Man I don't even know. Seriously I can't figure this one out...

[asdf2231]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8156754

otherlander  (1000+ posts)        Sat Oct-11-08 11:46 AM
Original message
Another thread that won't make me very popular around here
So the other night I was walking down the street and this guy walks up to me and says, "Hey." And I say, "What?" And he says, "I'm single, will you go out with me?" And I say, "No." And he says, "I live by myself... And I'm only eighteen!" And I say, "Dude, you're like, forty or something. And I don't **** strangers." And he gets all offended. "You're insulting me!" And I just say, "Whatever. Peace." and walk away.

Now as a queer feminist currently in a straight relationship... ( )I realize that most other feminists would probably say that I should be pissed off at this guy. Hell, forget feminists, most adults would probably say that the instant he started talking to me, I should have... run. Run away! Really really fast! Vroom.

However.

I didn't feel threatened at all, because we were on a public street. Other people could see us. If he had tried something, I probably could have fought him off anyway. He was kind of short. My boyfriend's over six feet tall and when we practice our karate against each other, we get into some pretty intense sparring matches and I can hold my own. So I didn't feel that he was a significant threat, is the point.

Also.
On the subject of gender roles.
They suck. For everyone.
Yes, I'm aware of male privelege. However, being aware of that, I still feel lucky in some ways to have been born female. Yes, I'm going to have to fight against people taking me less seriously than they would take someone without boobs. Yes, some neighborhoods are still more dangerous for me than they would be for someone with a dick. On the other hand, nobody expects me to be macho. Same-gender friends won't mock me for expressing emotion. Society does not laugh at me if I do not act as a sexual conquerer. Because, ultimatley, that's what society expects males to be. And honestly, it sounds like a real drag.

I try to imagine what it would be like to be bombarded with messages from every direction telling me that the more people I ****ed (not even made love to, which is completley different), the more people would like me. And that valuing friendship more than sex would make me a loser. And that looking for deep emotional connections was something that only that "other" half of the human race should do. I imagine what it would be like to be very lonely, but have everything I had learned up to that point telling me that I could only be saved by getting laid. Would I be "with it" enough to realize that all that was a lie? I don't know.

I do think that restrictive gender constructs are harmful to everyone: Yes, to females more so than to males. But they don't really make anyone truly happy. I wish that people of both genders would realize that. It would go a long way towards letting people be friends, or lovers...or maybe even comrades, which is what people with radical views must become if they want to tear down this unhealthy construct.

Some people say that they cried reading romance novels, or other tragedies. Me? I cried reading The Proud Tower. When the Socialists basically voted to declare war... on themselves. Yes, I realize what an incredible dork that makes me. But it's the lack of connection that gets me: The inability of people to realize the goals that they share, to realize that they both have something to gain from working against the same harmful institutionalized norms. No, I'm not saying that we should all just join hands and sing songs. Yes, I realize that in order for people to be allies, there must also be an acknowledgement of the advantage that society gives one group over the other.

So. DU has already decided that I'm apparently the worst kind of atheist there is. And now it comes out that I feel sorry for creepy old men. What say you, Lounge? Shall we add "World's Worst Feminist" to that list?

Why don't we just add in this post of yours from downstream:

otherlander  (1000+ posts)        Sat Oct-11-08 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. I'm used to a lot of feminists- especially second-wave ones-
 considering me a "fake" feminist because I have no problem with open relationships, polyamory, free love, BDSM, hentai, or pornography. So I figured that feeling bad for creepy older men instead of being angry at them, and looking at them as people who were harmed by the same systems that harmed me- people who, like me, would benefit from the removal of gender-constructs, instead of looking at them as people who were sexist and should be seen as enemies- would just be one more thing to be held against me.

And just consider you the most sincerly ****ed up person I have encountered in ages.

This thread goes veering off into about 4 different directions with a lot of talk about feminism and attention whoring.

Weird.

[Carl]

DU----->A home for the devient and dysfunctional.

Proud of your ilk Skins?

[LC EFA]

Now as a queer feminist currently in a straight relationship... ( Huh?)I realize that most other feminists would probably say that I should be pissed off at this guy. Hell, forget feminists, most adults would probably say that the instant he started talking to me, I should have... run. Run away! Really really fast! Vroom.

Translation : My "girlfriend" is still waiting for the surgeon to  make "her" two stone lighter.

[GOBUCKS]

DUmmy otherlander is apparently part of the DUmp's shemale contingent.

[Chris]

Translation : My "girlfriend" is still waiting for the surgeon to  make "her" two stone lighter.

[Traveshamockery]

considering me a "fake" feminist because I have no problem with open relationships, polyamory, free love, BDSM, hentai, or pornography

Oh lawdy!  I don't even know what polyamory, BDSM, or hentai mean!  Can anyone explain? 


 

[DumbAss Tanker]

Oh lawdy!  I don't even know what polyamory, BDSM, or hentai mean!  Can anyone explain? 


 

Polyamory - "I'll do anybody and everybody, not necessarily limited to humans or one at a time."

BDSM - Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism.  The basic stereotyped simply-distasteful-to-totally-creepy thing, it also includes the over-the-top master-slave stuff.  Lots of ordinary sex involves people playing roles a bit, when they actually start calling it BDSM it means it's carried way beyond those normal parameters.

Hentai - basically like Japanese comic book art or animation ("Anime"), but it's porn or taboo for some other reason.  The porn may range from pretty vanilla to quite bizarre, but for several reasons (style of the art, Japanese physiology asn cultural ideas of beauty, different values on age in the East) the girls tend to generally be rendered as what would appear to be a bit under the legal age, in the eyes of most American viewers.

[Chris_]

Polyamory - "I'll do anybody and everybody, not necessarily limited to humans or one at a time."

BDSM - Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism.  The basic stereotyped simply-distasteful-to-totally-creepy thing, it also includes the over-the-top master-slave stuff.  Lots of ordinary sex involves people playing roles a bit, when they actually start calling it BDSM it means it's carried way beyond those normal parameters.

Hentai - basically like Japanese comic book art or animation ("Anime"), but it's porn or taboo for some other reason.  The porn may range from pretty vanilla to quite bizarre, but for several reasons (style of the art, Japanese physiology asn cultural ideas of beauty, different values on age in the East) the girls tend to generally be rendered as what would appear to be a bit under the legal age, in the eyes of most American viewers.

Why do you know these?

;)

[Vagabond]

I think we may have just found UP's little sister.

[Traveshamockery]

Polyamory - "I'll do anybody and everybody, not necessarily limited to humans or one at a time."

BDSM - Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism.  The basic stereotyped simply-distasteful-to-totally-creepy thing, it also includes the over-the-top master-slave stuff.  Lots of ordinary sex involves people playing roles a bit, when they actually start calling it BDSM it means it's carried way beyond those normal parameters.

Hentai - basically like Japanese comic book art or animation ("Anime"), but it's porn or taboo for some other reason.  The porn may range from pretty vanilla to quite bizarre, but for several reasons (style of the art, Japanese physiology asn cultural ideas of beauty, different values on age in the East) the girls tend to generally be rendered as what would appear to be a bit under the legal age, in the eyes of most American viewers.

Oh, I get it.  Around my house we just call that "Tuesday." 

[Chris]

Oh, I get it.  Around my house we just call that "Tuesday." 

 

[DumbAss Tanker]

Why do you know these?

Ahem, purely for academic research purposes, cough, of course...

 

[asdf2231]

Ahem, purely for academic research purposes, cough, of course...

 

Sure... 

They taught you all about Polyamory and BDSM as part of SERE training in case you got stranded behind Liberal lines right?

[DumbAss Tanker]

Sure... 

They taught you all about Polyamory and BDSM as part of SERE training in case you got stranded behind Liberal lines right?

Uhhh yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!