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MuseRider (35,043 posts)Beware of the funeral scams, please.I have a smallish but sadly growing problem with dementia (ask our admins, they are absolute saints) so I guess it made me a bit at risk.We had a bit of a rash of death on my husbands side recently. On the tail of this comes a rash of my long dead relatives... Maybe not a rash they are all gone now. I am not religious but I was taught all about it so I thought myself rather safe from the scam that always follows grief. Beware they are always looking for you.Just for any of you who do not know about this or are very trusting be very aware here is part of it. My husband's MIL died recently. There was conversation from everyone during that period. I gave it no more thought than usual, the sorrow and memories that end up being a comfort. I sent something to one of them as we prepare how to go about Thanksgiving, mentioned their recently deceased. We proceeded then came the mails to me, hopefully not to them. My poor, long neglected mother (dead for years by the way) and an ill, neglectful daughter.I got calls about what and where. How much it will cost and what a cheapskate I was. They ended up convincing me that I was a bad person leaving my 97 year old mother so that she died alone in her bed.(?) Now was the time to show my love and on and on and on all about things that cost a lot of money and to convince me what a horrible person I was When the first hit came I was puzzled. I went through all my dear ones that are gone. I KNEW I had done right by them with respect and all the usual services, flowers etc. 2 brothers, mother, father, cousins, Uncles and Aunts, the numbers continue to grow. I was a magician at putting together sadness and life followed by the usual, death. I was told that my mother did not remember me, I neglected her. **she had been dead for around 10 years by then but the old suckers, guilt and sorrow made me instantly feel bad. What could we do to make it better? This went on and on and I cried and wept and felt like the worst person in the world then I finally snapped out of it when I remembered the first moments of our discussion when they mentioned that I had my own problems. I apologized to my kids for being so bad, my husband was getting very tired of hearing about it at all until I could show him that I figured it out, it was all a scam. You can take it from here. If this helps anyone, it is worth being so stupid outloud so maybe you will not have to deal with this.They had me almost conned. They told me that I had not done my (long gone mother right), I owed a nursing home a lot. It was all total bullshit. My little bit of dementia fueled the fire for a whole, whole lot more than this. If I had ever had in inclination I might have even thought of doing myself in. It was powerful pain and guilt. It took me at least 3 days to figure it out and get it straight. Somehow the memories of my Mom and me playing with the babies blew all that guilt right out of the water.There is more but this is much more than I should write. Just a warning. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I was such a poop. Only sometimes, sometimes. Beware the roaming bad guys.https://democraticunderground.com/100220832160
What a world salad
I have no idea what I just read. KC