Get me: I'm Randi Rhodes (ir any banshee-screaming liberal) at the oncologist:
Doctor: "I'm afraid I have some bad news. See this dark matter on your scan? I was hoping not to see that. It's cancerous, I'm afraid."
Randi Rhodes: "But what about Trump? He's got dementia! When are you going to diagnose him with dementia?"
Doctor: "We're talking about you and your lung scan, and if you look at this, it's pretty advanced and serious. We need to start thinking about your options."
Randi Rhodes: "What about Rush Limbaugh, though? He had cancer. I don't hear you talking about that."
Doctor: "I'm talking about YOUR cancer."
Randi Rhodes: "Why are you focused on mine, though? What about Trump's dementia? Why are you covering that up?"
Doctor: "I'm ordering a brain scan, too. I'm starting to wonder if you have a tumor there that's affecting your cognition."
Randi Rhodes: "Oh, that's CLASSIC. Now I'M the one with mental problems. Well, do your worst, Dr. MENGELE!"