BREAKING: Israel Kills Thousands More Terrorists With Exploding '200 Free Hours of AOL' CDs

LEBANON — Video footage of several explosions flooded social media Wednesday as thousands more Hezbollah terrorists were killed by exploding CDs promising 200 free hours of America Online.
"Oh boy, 200 free hours of dial-up Internet!" said Ahmad Krikor, a terrorist on the FBI's most wanted list. Unfortunately, his brief joy was quickly vaporized into dust along with his body.
Israel is suspected to have intercepted a cache of unused AOL discs which they repurposed for a tactical advantage. In addition, CCTV footage picked up Yiddish operatives fleeing the scene of many detonations.
https://babylonbee.com/news/breaking-israel-kills-another-thousand-terrorists-with-exploding-200-free-hours-of-aol-cdsRashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.
The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib's Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.
"It just blew up right out of nowhere!" one of Tlaib's staffers said following the explosion. "We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman's itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?"
https://babylonbee.com/news/rashida-tlaib-uninjured-after-her-pager-mysteriously-explodes