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Author Topic: Michael Phelps Facts  (Read 9317 times)

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Offline jendf

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Michael Phelps Facts
« on: August 13, 2008, 10:29:15 PM »
Move over Chuck Norris...

Quote
God punished the world with a massive flood of water. Michael Phelps then punished God with the same flood.

Moses did not part the Red Sea. He walked very close behind Michael Phelps.

There are three types of people in this world. Those who try, those who fail, and god**** Michael Phelps.

Contrary to popular belief, Michael Phelps is not part fish, part merman, etc. He swims so well because he's Michael Mother****ing Phelps.

When Michael Phelps jumps into the water, he doesn't get wet. He breaks a world record.

Jesus did not walk on water; he just hitched a ride on Michael Phelps' back.

Micheal Phelp's opponents do not swim in water, they only swim in their own tears.

Michael Phelps does not get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps.

One day water began falling from the sky while children were having a picnic. One sad child exclaimed "aww man, it's Michael Phelps-ing!"

One time Michael Phelps got in the bathtub and broke a world record for most amount of epic in a body of water.

Michael Phelps trains in a pool filled with the tears of the innocent.

One day Michael Phelps was training in his personal custom pool which just had a mirror installed beside it so he could watch himself be amazing. At the end, he climbed out and immediately destroyed the mirror. Glass was everywhere. When asked why he did this, he responded, "Nobody ties with Michael Phelps. Not even Michael Phelps."

The African governments have begun destroying the entire continent in their quest to dig up enough gold to make Michael Phelps more medals.

Michael Phelps was disqualified from competing in the 1996 Olympics when the IOC determined that running on the surface of the water did not count as “swimming.”

Michael Jordan cannot hold his bowels in The Presence of Michael Phelps.

McDonald’s tried to low-ball Michael Phelps on an endorsement deal for their new chicken sandwich. In response, Phelps willed Ronald McDonald’s heart to stop.

 :-)
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Offline Chris

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM »
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2008, 10:36:47 PM »
Quote
One time Michael Phelps got in the bathtub and broke a world record for most amount of epic in a body of water.



 :rotf:   :-)


Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

There was one of those feel good NBC things on Phelps where he talked about his schedule during the Olympics.  His life is eat, swim, sleep
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Offline jendf

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2008, 10:37:04 PM »
Yeah, I saw that, Chris. He's insane. And quite frankly, at the risk of sounding like a bitter, success-hating DUmmy, I'm kind of tired of hearing about him.

I googled "Michael Phelps Chuck Norris" because I thought all of the fawning by NBC and the media over this guy is going to give Chuck Norris a run for his money. And wouldn't you know it, people are starting to write "Chuck Norris"-style facts about Phelps.

It gave me a good laugh. I'm over-saturated with news of Phelps' greatness at this point. I'm secretly hoping he gets a silver tonight.  :-)
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 10:39:37 PM by jendf »
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2008, 10:41:08 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:37:04 PM
Yeah, I saw that, Chris. He's insane. And quite frankly, at the risk of sounding like a bitter, success-hating DUmmy, I'm kind of tired of hearing about him.

I googled "Michael Phelps Chuck Norris" because I thought all of the fawning by NBC and the media over this guy is going to give Chuck Norris a run for his money. And wouldn't you know it, people are starting to write "Chuck Norris"-style facts about Phelps.

It gave me a good laugh. I'm over-saturated with news of Phelps' greatness at this point. I'm secretly hoping he gets a silver tonight.  :-)


*gasp*

That's damn near Un-American young lady!  Repent sinner!
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Offline jendf

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2008, 10:46:29 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on August 13, 2008, 10:41:08 PM
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:37:04 PM
Yeah, I saw that, Chris. He's insane. And quite frankly, at the risk of sounding like a bitter, success-hating DUmmy, I'm kind of tired of hearing about him.

I googled "Michael Phelps Chuck Norris" because I thought all of the fawning by NBC and the media over this guy is going to give Chuck Norris a run for his money. And wouldn't you know it, people are starting to write "Chuck Norris"-style facts about Phelps.

It gave me a good laugh. I'm over-saturated with news of Phelps' greatness at this point. I'm secretly hoping he gets a silver tonight.  :-)


*gasp*

That's damn near Un-American young lady!  Repent sinner!

I know! I'm so ashamed.

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid, tin foil hat DUmmy, maybe NBC is purposely saturating the news with Michael Phelps' fawning in order to turn normal America-loving individuals like myself into cheerleaders for the ChiComs.

Hey, I think I'm on to something here... :tinfoil2:

Oh, nevermind. I'm just evil really.  :-)
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2008, 10:48:27 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:46:29 PM
Quote from: Miss Mia on August 13, 2008, 10:41:08 PM
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:37:04 PM
Yeah, I saw that, Chris. He's insane. And quite frankly, at the risk of sounding like a bitter, success-hating DUmmy, I'm kind of tired of hearing about him.

I googled "Michael Phelps Chuck Norris" because I thought all of the fawning by NBC and the media over this guy is going to give Chuck Norris a run for his money. And wouldn't you know it, people are starting to write "Chuck Norris"-style facts about Phelps.

It gave me a good laugh. I'm over-saturated with news of Phelps' greatness at this point. I'm secretly hoping he gets a silver tonight.  :-)


*gasp*

That's damn near Un-American young lady!  Repent sinner!

I know! I'm so ashamed.

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid, tin foil hat DUmmy, maybe NBC is purposely saturating the news with Michael Phelps' fawning in order to turn normal America-loving individuals like myself into cheerleaders for the ChiComs.

Hey, I think I'm on to something here... :tinfoil2:

Oh, nevermind. I'm just evil really.  :-)


Evil and now I'm starting to doubt if you're a woman...hellllooooo eye candy!

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Offline jendf

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2008, 10:51:41 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on August 13, 2008, 10:48:27 PM
Evil and now I'm starting to doubt if you're a woman...hellllooooo eye candy!



Hey, he's got a laser pointed at him. Looks like I'm not the only one who is ready to take him out!  :rotf:
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2008, 10:56:40 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:51:41 PM
Hey, he's got a laser pointed at him. Looks like I'm not the only one who is ready to take him out!  :rotf:


It's just you and DUers.  LOL! 






Actually, DU's been on a rampage against Womens Beach Volleyball the last couple of days, since they wear bikinis.   :whatever:
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Offline jendf

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2008, 10:58:36 PM »
I want to see the rest of his tattoo.  :evillaugh:
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2008, 11:02:36 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:58:36 PM
I want to see the rest of his tattoo.  :evillaugh:


Here's another angle...




And another pic





Hum, that tattoo is cleverly hidden...    :evillaugh: :evillaugh:
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 11:04:20 PM by Miss Mia »
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Offline debk

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2008, 08:42:18 AM »
I watched him swim in the 2004 Olympics and was in awe....this time I just keep cheering him on. I really hope he wins all 8 medals. He deserves to win them.

The amount of food he eats is unreal.

As is his body.....  :-)


he has size 14 feet, Ladies.....  :naughty:
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Offline Flame

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2008, 09:29:02 AM »
Those pics make me feel like a dirty old woman....but, damn.  :bow: :naughty:


I was watching the diving the other day with the kids (Mr Flame was at work), and commented how nice they looked.  My son got all indignant and said "Mom, you are married!"   I replied, "Yeah, I'm married, but I'm not dead!  I"m still allowed to look!   And anyway, I'm just enjoying God's craftsmanship!"
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2008, 05:45:51 PM »
Phelps is 100% all american stock.... what the heck is wrong with jen?  :hammer:  :lmao:
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2008, 05:51:22 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on August 14, 2008, 05:45:51 PM
Phelps is 100% all american stock.... what the heck is wrong with jen?  :hammer:  :lmao:

She must be moling on DU waaaay too much . . .  :tongue:
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2008, 06:10:35 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on August 14, 2008, 05:51:22 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on August 14, 2008, 05:45:51 PM
Phelps is 100% all american stock.... what the heck is wrong with jen?  :hammer:  :lmao:

She must be moling on DU waaaay too much . . .  :tongue:

Or she is hanging out at CU with the likes of the metrosexual CW.  :uhsure:
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2008, 06:12:42 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:58:36 PM
I want to see the rest of his tattoo.  :evillaugh:

Haha..I was thinking that too..thought thief! :evillaugh: :tongue:
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Offline jendf

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2008, 07:32:52 PM »
Where in this thread did I saw he wasn't all kinds of hotness? I said I was tired of the media telling me how awesome he is. Sheesh, people.  :-)
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Offline john c calhoun

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM »
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...
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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #19 on: August 18, 2008, 12:36:13 PM »
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...


riiiiight.   :whatever:
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Offline Flame

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #20 on: August 18, 2008, 12:41:49 PM »
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...


got any proof there, Mr Conspiracy Theory???
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Offline john c calhoun

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #21 on: August 18, 2008, 12:45:02 PM »
Quote from: Flame on August 18, 2008, 12:41:49 PM
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...


got any proof there, Mr Conspiracy Theory???

phelps has been on Ritalin since he was a child...

ritalin has amphetamine properties & actions..

if you don't believe me, talk to his mother.... she said she got him into swimming to 'burn up all the energy he had" ... (from the ritalin & supposed ADD)

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Offline Flame

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #22 on: August 18, 2008, 12:47:19 PM »
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:45:02 PM
Quote from: Flame on August 18, 2008, 12:41:49 PM
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...


got any proof there, Mr Conspiracy Theory???

phelps has been on Ritalin since he was a child...

ritalin has amphetamine properties & actions..

if you don't believe me, talk to his mother.... she said she got him into swimming to 'burn up all the energy he had" ... (from the ritalin & supposed ADD)



 ::) :mental:
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Offline Scoobie

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #23 on: August 18, 2008, 12:47:58 PM »
Quote from: jendf on August 13, 2008, 10:58:36 PM
I want to see the rest of his tattoo.  :evillaugh:





Olympic symbol on his right hip, M for Michigan on his left hip.

He got a good dose of the hawtness, didn't he.  :naughty:
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Offline Scoobie

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Re: Michael Phelps Facts
« Reply #24 on: August 18, 2008, 01:01:21 PM »
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:45:02 PM
Quote from: Flame on August 18, 2008, 12:41:49 PM
Quote from: john c calhoun on August 18, 2008, 12:30:35 PM
Quote from: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:32:42 PM
Did you see this article that says Phelps has been eating 12,000 calories a day at the Olympics?  Damn!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08132008/news/nationalnews/phelps_pig_secret__hes_boy_gorge_124248.htm

yeah, speed freaks have a very high metabolism...

phelps is on amphetamines, Marc Spitz was not...

marc spitz went up against the soviet union & a  much stronger european contingency...

very few countries care about the olympics these days..... other than the US & china ...


got any proof there, Mr Conspiracy Theory???

phelps has been on Ritalin since he was a child...

ritalin has amphetamine properties & actions..

if you don't believe me, talk to his mother.... she said she got him into swimming to 'burn up all the energy he had" ... (from the ritalin & supposed ADD)




Oh for chrissakes. He was on ritalin AS A CHILD from 9 until the age of 11, when he decided to take himself OFF the medication.

Quote
At age 9, Michael was put on Ritalin, a stimulant used to treat hyperactivity.

His mother thinks it helped a little. “He seemed to be able to focus longer,” she said. “He could get through homework without moving around so much.” She said he was still a middling student. “It might have raised some C’s to B’s,” she said. But if a homework assignment had to be at least four sentences, she said, “he’d just do four sentences.”

After two years, Michael asked to get off the meds. He had to go to the school nurse’s office to take a pill at lunch, she said, and felt stigmatized. “Out of the blue, he said to me: ‘I don’t want to do this anymore, Mom. My buddies don’t do it. I can do this on my own.’ ”

“I was always stern as a parent,” she said, “but from Day 1, I included my children as part of the decision process. So I listened.” After consulting with Dr. Wax, Michael stopped medication.

Link

Got anything else?   ::)
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