As The DUmmies Turn: xmas74 episode

[BannedFromDU]

xmas74 (25,818 posts)

Advice please

(You asked for it.)

My best friend is a male.(Not enough info. Is he a "cisgender?" Bi? Tranny? Pre-tranny?) We've known each other for 25 years and had a fling 18 years ago. Over the past five years he's been back in my life and has become my best friend-there really aren't many others around, since I spend so much time with him and on him.(On him? Sounds like you're  more than just pretty good friends. Notice how we still don't know if xmas74 is male or female...) Over the past two years he's more than hinted at moving this into something more but I've always been afraid of losing the friendship. He know this.

Over the past few months he has become nastier with me and the way he treats me. He talks over me, condescends to me, treats me as though I'm uneducated and not worth having an opinion.(What's his DU name?) He corrects my grammar and my pronunciation of various words and names, even if I am actually saying them properly.(Are you a Nadin sockpuppet?) He makes fun of where I am originally from, of where I currently live and has even made a few comments about my kid and my parenting skills.He lectures me regularly when I don't really want to hear it. Even when we talk it's always on his schedule.(In other words, he's a prolific DU poster) If I don't answer the phone when he calls he will not take a call from me the rest of the night and sometimes not even for the entire weekend. His plans and what he wants to do are always more important.(Sounds like this guy pretty much rules your life.)

Last week he once again corrected something I said to him. I was tired of it and I pulled up a video on you tube with the correct pronunciation. He told me to go to hell and stormed off.(I say again: what's his DU handle?) I have sent him a few texts over the last week but he refused to answer them. Today I called him and tried to talk to him. Instead of talking he yelled at me and told me about how I treat him as though he's an idiot and how we never talk about or do anything he wants to do and how it's always inconvenient for him to do this "stuff". When I tried to explain my side he became even angrier and told me to wait by the phone for his call-he'd call me when he wasn't so angry "in a few weeks". When I tried to say something else he said that he told me to wait until he wasn't angry, that's what he meant and that I could go f*ck myself until he was ready to talk.(Again, these are the people who propose to tell us how to live. A 25-year relationship with a 12-year-old. What a paradox.)

I've deleted his number from my phone and his profiles from all my social media. I love him but I think I deserve better treatment and I don't know if I can go through this again. (He had a tantrum like this around this time last year; it lasted about three weeks and then I took him back.)

Did I make the right choice? I don't want to cut him off if it's really my fault but I feel like it isn't this time. This situation has me wondering if the other times he blamed things on me were my fault or him just assigning blame to get out of his rotten behavior and to manipulate me. I do love him but I just don't know if I can handle any more of this, even though he has said that he's the only man who will ever truly love me and that anyone else will never understand me.(You're both lunatics.)

And now a few words from the lunatic fringe...


The money quote from downthread:

xmas74 (25,818 posts)
24. We had a romantic relationship in the past

and he wanted one again, telling me about how sees us together for the rest of our lives. He would drop little things about twenty, thirty years down the road (when he retires what we'll be doing together, etc). He just got out of another relationship that lasted three years when he started hinting at me about a relationship. My response was that he needed time to get over the last one. Well, he has had other, short term relationships during all of this. During those relationships he'd call and tell me all the details, even if I didn't want them.

I'm just so tired of it all.

Tells you all you need to know. A DUmmy pining for someone who isn't interested.

[CC27]

You had a hookup. It was not romantic.