Rolling Stone has compiled a definitive record of “The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America.†They are, and I’m not kidding here:
Pistols
Revolvers
Rifles
Shotguns
Derringers
Well. The internet will not tolerate such nonsense.
Just one page of the over 2200 comments offered thus far include:
SmokeFan • 2 minutes ago
I'm still trying to figure out where I can get me one o' them dangerous derringers.
tinman13kup • 3 minutes ago
It appears she forgot all the schoolyard guns, which are evidently very dangerous
1-finger guns, with unlimited magazines and nearly silent, aside from the "pew-pew"
2-squirt guns-proven very effective against wicked witches
3-toy soldier guns- easily concealed, military weapons, can amass an army easily
4-paper guns- readily made, never ending supply. AKA throw away gun
5-pop-tart guns- AKA suicide gun as it's as bad for the shooter as the victim
justltl • 4 minutes ago
She forgot Shoguns. Those are dangerous. Especially ones that are also Ninjas.
George Mason > justltl • 2 minutes ago
They are on the list, number 4 right before derringers.
Disgustedwithstupidity • 5 minutes ago
The Five Most disgusting Rags
1) Toilet Paper
2) Kleenex
3) Feminine napkins
4) Baby wipes
5)The Rolling Stone
Seems Legit > Disgustedwithstupidity • 3 minutes ago
Four of those are clean and useful at the time they are purchased.
Carl Wulff • 5 minutes ago
"I still can't believe its not satire"
KaceyC555 • 6 minutes ago
100% chance you will die if you drink water
100% chance you will die if you breathe Oxygen
Oh, the horrors!
James Hough • 6 minutes ago
Five most dangerous seasons:
5. Rabbit Season
4. Duck Season
3. Rabbit Season
2. Rabbit Season
1. Duck Season....FIRE!
Seems Legit • 9 minutes ago
Ten Most Dangerous Trains:
1. Thomas (he's the cheeky one...)...
Carl Wulff > Seems Legit • 6 minutes ago
Diesel, he's bad for the environment.
Jason Cox • 9 minutes ago
I believe that I have lost several IQ points reading this article. Kristen Gwynne, bless your heart...
Seems Legit • 10 minutes ago
"The top five most useful senses..."
Servo1969 • 12 minutes ago
This is the equivalent of an eight grade report on dinosaurs.
Seems Legit > Servo1969 • 7 minutes ago
I kinda recall 8th grade reports on dinosaurs at least teaching the reader something...
markbuehner • 12 minutes ago
The 5 most dangerous countries in North America:
1)The United States
2)Texas (Also America)
3)Mexico
4)The North American Continent
5)Canada, home of the derringer
Seems Legit > markbuehner • 7 minutes ago
You forgot New Mexico. A way more dangerous country than the old one.
pappy51 • 12 minutes ago
So, I'm guessing RS is now beating up little kids and stealing their homework to post as articles. Shame on you RS.
Honorable Bob • 13 minutes ago
Top 5 Cars Shot Up by James Brown:
1. '73 Oldsmobile
2. '67 Bonneville (4 dr)
3. '72 Coupe De Ville Cadillac
4. Post Office Truck
5. '83 Renault Fuego (It deserved it.)
Seems Legit • 13 minutes ago
Can't wait to see Rolling Stone's list of the five most popular Jacksons.
JoeThePimpernel • 13 minutes ago
Government is the greediest, most corrupt and murderous force on Earth.
Governments, primarily "redistributionist" governments, have murdered 262 million of their own citizens since the beginning of the 20th century.
And governments own LOTS of guns.
SheWhoIs • 16 minutes ago
"Only a pimp in a New Orleans whorehouse owns a pearl-handled derringer."
General Patton
Seems Legit > SheWhoIs • 14 minutes ago
...um...I'll be right back...
SheWhoIs • 18 minutes ago
The 5 Most Dangerous lib pundits:
1. Ezra Klein
2. Matt Yglesias
3. Matt Klein
4. Ezra Yglesias
5. Julio Yglesias-Klein
Seems Legit • 19 minutes ago
Look on the bright side, Ms. Gwynne. As far as I cared to check, your spelling is impeccable.
Honorable Bob • 20 minutes ago
Santa Claus's Top 5 Arch Enemies:
1. Crisp Krinkle
2. Hammer Claus
3. Rudolph the Murderer
4. Mr. July
5. Ice Sickle
Zman > Honorable Bob • 9 minutes ago
You forgot Bunbun
Hercules Von Donigal • 20 minutes ago
I find the Derringer quite useful in repelling ne'er-do-wells, scalawags, half-rats, tradesmen and other such low-class fiends when I'm about the town. I'm particularly fond of how well it fits in my trouser pockets, leaving plenty of room for my opera glasses and silk hankerchief!
CrispusA • 22 minutes ago
Those guns would appear less dangerous if they had Tsarnaev, the tussle haired boy, posing with them! That’s why they rejected those photos.
termyt • 23 minutes ago
The Five Deadliest Animals:
1. Mammals
2. Primates
3. Reptile
4. Fish
5. Cats
While Alfred Hitchcock popularized the dangers of birds, definitions of "dangerous" vary and most bird-related dangers come from falling due to panic trying to avoid them. We do know, however, actual birds are a small minority of animal-related injury.
CrispusA • 25 minutes ago
The five most dangerous sports cars:
1. The VW Beetle with a Derringer.
2. The Ford Pinto with a Derringer.
3. Bicycles with Derringers.
4. Pineapples in Corvairs with Derringers.
5. The Matchbox 1968 Mercury Cougar with the Boss 302 instead of the standard 289 cubic inch with a Derringer.
justltl • 25 minutes ago
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Kristen here is blonde. Very blonde.
Alfred E. Newman • 27 minutes ago
Five most stupid Dweebs in Journalism:
1) Kristen Gwynne (the author who must have flunked out of school)
2 ) Kristen Gwynne (the author who must have flunked out of school)
3) Kristen Gwynne (the author who must have flunked out of school)
4) Kristen Gwynne (the author who must have flunked out of school)
5) The editor (who must be the publisher's son in high school)
Seems Legit > Alfred E. Newman • 23 minutes ago
I keep hitting 'refresh' to see if her name gets replaced by 'Rolling Stone Staff'.
PhysicsWon • 28 minutes ago
Oh my. You clearly stepped into one of the 5 deadliest types of doodoo:
1. Dog doodoo
2. Occupy doodoo
3. IRS missing emails (oops!) doodoo
4. Clinton history doodoo
5. A Rolling Stone article pretending to know something
Seems Legit • 29 minutes ago
Rolling Stone's List of Five Deadliest Things:
1. Stuff that kills people
2. Sharks
3. George W. Bush
4. Sharks
5. Derringers
justltl • 32 minutes ago
The stupid is strong with this one.
Mr Magic • 32 minutes ago
List of The 5 Most Deadliest Winds (based on trace weather data and made up guesses):
1. Tornado (also called "Whirly Wind")
2. Hurricane (a big whirly wind)
3. Jet Engine Blast (man made planet killer)
4. Hillary "What Difference Does It Make" Clinton
5. The Derringer
Jorge Garcia > Mr Magic • 25 minutes ago
What about a Sharknado
brucehall • 33 minutes ago
Eh, isn't "deadly" the implied adjective of "weapon"? Pick the "weapon" of your choice.
Seems Legit • 35 minutes ago
Fast forward to gun control comments a month from now:
"Are you kidding??? It's been proven that derringers are one of the most deadly types of guns out there!!!" [insert link to this article]
Servo1969 • 37 minutes ago
This article is so stupid it hurts my feelings.
SecretSquirl • 40 minutes ago
Top five deadliest time zones in the United States:
1. Eastern
2. Central
3. Mountain
4. Pacific
5. Hawaiian-Aleutian
Honorable mention: Alaskan
You have been warned.
Seems Legit • 40 minutes ago
Five Most Dangerous Aircraft:
1. Jet driven
2. Propeller driven
3. Helicopters
4. Gliders
5. That big balloon one that caught on fire on the Led Zeppelin album cover
Kent A. Vining • 43 minutes ago
5 Most Dangerous Derringers:
1. One shot
2. Two shot
3. The ones with longer barrels
4. The little ones
5. Derringers
Seems Legit • 44 minutes ago
Sorry...I know the list is absurd but I have to say I'm impressed with #4. As stupid as this article is, it's the only one where an AR-15 is correctly indicated as a rifle and not pushed into some made up 'assault weapon' category.
Kmac720 • 44 minutes ago
Pistols, Revolvers, Shotguns and Rifles?
Thank GOD muskets weren't on the list...
Jason Whiting • an hour ago
I must say, the person who wrote this is a very special kind of stupid. Lets not forget the moron of an editor either for letting something this bad even appear in the pages of Rolling Stone.
dannyderub • an hour ago
This article is so stupid and poorly thought out that the usual defenders of left wing bs didn't even pop in to defend it. That's bad.
#KristenGwynneIsAnIdiot • an hour ago
I'm gonna up the ante to a bigger list... the 7 most dangerous castaways:
1. Gilligan
2. The Skipper too
3. The Millionaire
4. And his wife
5. The movie star
6. The professor
7. And Maryann
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/pictures/the-5-most-dangerous-guns-in-america-20140714/pistols-0108072
