primitives discuss being harassed on the street

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025050493

Oh my.

Agschmid (8,386 posts)    Wed Jun 4, 2014, 06:59 PM

Smile, Baby! A New Study Shows How Often Women and Gay Men Are Sexually Harassed on the Street.

Whenever I write about the problem of the casual sexual harassment of women in public, someone inevitably attempts to derail the conversation by saying: “It happens to men, too.” And it does—but that’s not the whole story. A new nationally-representative survey, released today by the advocacy organization Stop Street Harassment with the help of market research firm GfK, gives voice to the men who are harassed in public, while demonstrating just how gendered the phenomenon really is.
 
The resulting report is based off a survey administered to 2,000 people across the United States, plus interviews with ten focus groups among marginalized people around the country, like Native Americans in South Dakota and gay, bisexual, and trans men in D.C. It found that 65 percent of women and 25 percent of men reported experiencing public harassment in their lifetimes. More than half of women in the survey reported experiencing verbal harassment, while 41 percent had experienced physical aggression in public: 23 percent of women reported nonconsensual sexual touching, 20 percent had been followed down the street, 14 percent had been flashed, and 9 percent had been “forced to do something sexual” while out and about. Meanwhile, 18 percent of men had experienced verbal harassment and 16 percent had experienced physical aggression in public. Eight percent of men said they’ve been touched nonconsensually, 7 percent had been followed, 5 percent had been flashed, and 2 percent had been forced to do something sexual. Women were also more likely than men to say the harassment “happened sometimes, often, or daily,” and were more likely to respond to the threat of harassment by “constantly assessing their surroundings” or avoiding walking alone. Julia, a 14-year-old Latina girl living in Florida, said that she had not yet been harassed, but still frequently altered her route in fear that she might be.

after which a chart

MadrasT (6,836 posts)    Wed Jun 4, 2014, 08:59 PM

8. Ugh, the city was the worst.

I used to work in center city Philadelphia -- I remember once, like 20 years ago, out on Market Street near the Liberty Bell, enjoying a cigarette break in the middle of my work day, all dressed up wearing a nice suit and heels... some important-acting dude in a suit walking by stopped to lecture me about how "A pretty young girl like you should know better than to be smoking!!! In this day and age!!!" and shook his head with disgust. Like I had ruined his whole day.
 
I didn't even react. I couldn't. I was just standing there thinking, "Excuse me... who the hell are you and who asked for your opinion?"
 
It was so very... odd.

That is just one incident that stuck out in my mind.

Some random dude thinks it's OK to lecture a stranger because "a pretty girl shouldn't smoke in 1995".
 
Sorry to bust up your fantasy, asshole. I wanted to grind out the butt in his face.
 
To this day, I regret not telling him off. And "young girl" my ass, I was 30 years old. And he was like, the same age. Asshole.

Squinch (8,445 posts)    Wed Jun 4, 2014, 10:25 PM

18. And yet, there are those here who insist that entitlement doesn't exist.

YOU ruined HIS day by not living up to his expectations. Because he thought he had a right to have those expectations met by a total stranger. There are a lot of feelings of ownership by men of "pretty young girls." It's the same impulse to a different degree as the Taliban beating strange women on the street whose clothing they don't approve of.
 
I was thinking of when I was taking a course at Brooklyn College years ago, and about once a week a guy would walk up and down the cars till he found me and then would flash me. The school was pretty far out on the subway line, so the cars were pretty empty. Every time, I'd get up and move to another car till one day I had an exam and was studying, so he comes into the car and I yell at him, "Take it out and I'll cut it off," and put my hand in my bag as if I was reaching for something. That day, HE moved to the other car.

redqueen (107,135 posts)    Thu Jun 5, 2014, 11:26 AM

25. I live in a small, rural town and I get it regularly, but it isn't as threatening and not vulgar.

In this small southern town it is cobsidered charming. 'Smile' is the most common one. I did have one very nasty experience but just one.
 
Ive always found it much worse in large or medium sized cities. However when I visited New York I never had any issues. Cause I was with a man the whole time.

^^^along with the BainsBane primitive and the seabeyond bitch, one of the Holy Trinity of the women's-libbers on Skins's island.

pnwmom (53,038 posts)    Thu Jun 5, 2014, 02:10 PM

28. I'll never forget the time in college when my boyfriend was visiting me in

my hometown, so we walked together on the route into town where I could count on honks or whatever. On the 4th or 5th honk, he lost it. He grabbed the bag out of my hands and threw it in the direction of the vehicle that had honked.
 
It was funny to see, but I was glad that he could feel -- in his gut -- why it had always bothered me. It's not a compliment.

Behind the Aegis (32,959 posts)    Thu Jun 5, 2014, 01:56 AM

20. It is embarassing and humiliating.

I used to cringe when my parents came to visit me at college because I was afraid someone would yell something at me and then having to bail my mother out of jail for kicking their asses. I have been with my mother when she has been harassed. I have been with other gay men and women (gay and straight) who have been harassed, and while it is usually men, there have been a number of times where women were the harassers.

magical thyme (7,544 posts)    Thu Jun 5, 2014, 02:59 PM

29. I remember in my 20s, walking down a street in New Haven

headed back to my car. I had just filled out some job applications, so was wearing work-type clothes. As I passed a group of men on the busy sidewalk, one or two of them pulled my skirt up over my head, and the group ran off laughing. I chased them for quite a distance, joined as I crossed a park by a young woman walking her gsd. She turned her dog loose and the 3 of us chased them until they scattered.

And then another time, again in my 20s, on a quiet August Sunday morning in a small city in northern Mass, I had walked about a mile to a convenience store to pick up the Sunday paper, wearing sandals and a sun dress. I was headed home when I heard footsteps running up from behind. A hand reached under my dress, grabbed my crotch and squeezed. I chased the boy for a good mile before he ducked through the gate into a back yard surrounded by a privacy fence. I trapped him in there. He was about 12 years old or so. I beat him over the head with my newspaper while screaming at him.

And of course there are the uncountable instances of being instructed to "smile" by creepy old strange men in the street.

When I was 14 years old, we boarded our pony at a local barn that had been bought by some creepy men who were buying t-breds cheap off the track and letting various students re-train them to show. One of the men put his arm around me to cop a feel. I didn't dare tell my parents or they might have gotten rid of our pony. I started avoiding him and he had the effing balls to flirt with my mother and then complain about me. She apologized to him for my "behavior" and scolded me.

I was also treated inappropriately both by my father, from age 10 or so on up, and by a cousin. No safety in the home or on the streets. I've also be harassed and office-stalked in several jobs, in my 20s, my 30s, my 40s and even my late 50s. And in my home, not only growing up but also in my late 40s by a 20ish neighbor.
 
Now I live alone. Finally, a somewhat safe haven. One more year and I can retire.
 
I've come to the conclusion, based on the most recent incident, that it will not end until I'm dead. Even then I expect some necrophiliac will defile my poor old corpse.

Vattel (4,415 posts)    Sun Jun 8, 2014, 08:40 AM

47. I am a man who has suffered

verbal harassment, physical assaults, sexual battery, and workplace sexual harassment. But I will be the first to say that on average women face way, way, way more of this sort of thing than men do. I find it hard to imagine that these statistics don't underestimate the problem. Every woman I know has had to deal with this.

Oh, I dunno.

Being deaf, I never hear much of what's being said to me on the streets, but I've been told it's usually--if a woman commenting--been "nice ass."  All I know is that if they're smiling when saying it, it's not anything I really want to hear anyway.

[Delmar]

                        Smile Baby!

                                       Here's how it's done:

[GOBUCKS]

magical thyme (7,544 posts)   
Thu Jun 5, 2014, 02:59 PM

And of course there are the uncountable instances of being instructed to "smile" by creepy old strange men in the street.

Now I live alone. 

Wow. I wonder why that is.

[Dori]

I take it if a stranger passes them and smiles or says hello, that they'll put that in their "harassment" column too.

I don't believe a fraction of what they say. 

[Chris_]

center city Philadelphia

Brooklyn College

New Haven

northern Mass

I see a pattern.

[Bad Dog]

I can sympathize with them since I am an incredibly handsome fellow who is accosted by aggressive females all the time.

[franksolich]

I can sympathize with them since I am an incredibly handsome fellow who is accosted by aggressive females all the time.

They like your car.

Women like men with a good car.

[JohnnyReb]

Well I be damned....I've been sexually harassed many times....liberals have lectured me numerous times about smoking. I didn't even know it was sexual assault. Oh, stupid me.

[obumazombie]

A whole lot of displacement, overcompensation, and projection going on over there.

[Ptarmigan]

Everything to DUmmies is a huge injustice to them.

[I_B_Perky]

MadrasT (6,836 posts)    Wed Jun 4, 2014, 08:59 PM

8. Ugh, the city was the worst.

I used to work in center city Philadelphia -- I remember once, like 20 years ago, out on Market Street near the Liberty Bell, enjoying a cigarette break in the middle of my work day, all dressed up wearing a nice suit and heels... some important-acting dude in a suit walking by stopped to lecture me about how "A pretty young girl like you should know better than to be smoking!!! In this day and age!!!" and shook his head with disgust. Like I had ruined his whole day.
 
I didn't even react. I couldn't. I was just standing there thinking, "Excuse me... who the hell are you and who asked for your opinion?"
 
It was so very... odd.

That is just one incident that stuck out in my mind.

Some random dude thinks it's OK to lecture a stranger because "a pretty girl shouldn't smoke in 1995".
 
Sorry to bust up your fantasy, asshole. I wanted to grind out the butt in his face.
 
To this day, I regret not telling him off. And "young girl" my ass, I was 30 years old. And he was like, the same age. Asshole.

He probably worked for the health department... the ones that are banning smoking just about everywhere, even in private residences and turning smokers into lepers. You know... the nanny state government that ya all dummies jones for.

Well I be damned....I've been sexually harassed many times....liberals have lectured me numerous times about smoking. I didn't even know it was sexual assault. Oh, stupid me.

Me too, JR!  I think the next time some busybody fat chick comes up to me and complains about my smoking I'll scream sexual harassment.   

[vesta111]

Turn this around and you will find that some females are in fact sexually harassing the males.

A power statement by some, they enjoy the ability to control a males body by how she dresses and looks.

A check me out for them, what we use to call a tease to all males that see them.

 For crying out loud, my husband has walked into lamp posts walking down the street when a female walked by with her boobs hanging out.

  I find this all so funny as it is a man thing and there have been times when I have seen a well made man that made my eyes open very wide.   It don't matter how old one is, people dress to impress and sometimes things get out of control. 

I do not believe that woman should dress like NUNS, however, a bit of modesty and style is a safe bet that out unescorted  with a big dog one would not be harassed.   

[freedumb2003b]

I can sympathize with them since I am an incredibly handsome fellow who is accosted by aggressive females all the time.

You won't know you are REALLY handsome until you are hit on by a gay hunk... ;)

[BattleHymn]

I see more gay menz and carpet munchers around here speaking lude language in public or ogling at people than I ever witness from normal men and women. 

[Dori]

I see more gay menz and carpet munchers around here speaking lude language in public or ogling at people than I ever witness from normal men and women.

I've worked with a couple of gay men that made no secret of their lifestyle.  They were also the most promiscuous people I've ever known.  Gay women, no.  I did get hit on once by a lesbian and wanted to run and hide.  She knew I was married too.  Her partner saw it and got really jealous and made a scene.  That was one of the strangest and most uncomfortable moments I've ever had. 

[BattleHymn]

Yup, that sounds like pretty much every homo I know. 

The last one that was welcomed at my house was told that he had to check his gayness at the door or don't come over anymore. This was after he threw a hissy fit at Wal-Mart over thirty cents difference on a value pack of toilet paper.
   

[I_B_Perky]

You won't know you are REALLY handsome until you are hit on by a gay hunk...

Well I must have been damned good looking when I was younger cause it seemed like I was a queer magnet for the fags that came in the restaurant.

Women? Nada.   

[landofconfusion80]

Well I must have been damned good looking when I was younger cause it seemed like I was a queer magnet for the fags that came in the restaurant.

Women? Nada.   

maybe you should've left the rainbow suspenders and daisy dukes at home... just a thought.

[Gina]

When I am sexually harrassed on the street (and I don't like the person harrassing me ) I ignore it.  WHOA! Mind blown DUmmies. 

[67 Rover]

To this day, I regret not telling him off. And "young girl" my ass, I was 30 years old. And he was like, the same age. Asshole.

And yet today you have absolutely no problem with the rodeo clown calling a 26yr old a child on the parents health insurance plan. 

[landofconfusion80]

When I am sexually harrassed on the street (and I don't like the person harrassing me ) I ignore it.  WHOA! Mind blown DUmmies. 

Good thing you like everyone here, right?