One’s heaving a great sigh of relief, now that the top DUmmies for 2013 are over.
This year, there were three changes in the contest, and I think they were for the better, but anyone’s free to disagree if they wish.
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The first was not an “official†change--although it’d been considered--in which nominations and voting were restricted to only members of conservativecave. That suggested rule wasn’t actually put into effect, but it was generally observed.
The DUmpster is the largest repository of
primitivia on the internet; while other places may publicize the antics of the primitives, I haven’t yet found one that covers them so thoroughly. And hence it follows that readers of the DUmpster are probably more knowledgeable of the characters and depravities of the individual primitives; the experts.
In the past, when anybody and his uncle could nominate and vote, the Top DUmmies were riddled with nominations and even winners from way out in left field; oddballs that really didn’t belong in the running.
This was because there were some who nominated and voted, who were familiar with only three or two or even just one primitive, rather than slews of them.
It’s a subjective opinion of course, but this year, I don’t think there were, really, any unwarranted nominations. And while some of us disagree with some of the final choices, one can’t disagree that all of the nominees and winners were credible candidates.
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The second was the use of weighted voting, in which each voter voted for ten primitives, but ranked the highest five. All ten weren’t ranked, because really, after about five primitives, one gets hazy about one’s sixth choice or ninth choice. But one’s top five are pretty easy to rank.
One might disagree with their ultimate standings, but I suspect most would agree that the top five DUmmies were, really, the top five DUmmies, even if one disagrees with their eventual order.
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The third was the use of secret ballots only; one was free to publicly state one’s choices, but the votes themselves were secret.
This change was made simply to irk lurking primitives, who in past years could easily determine whether or not they’d won, simply by reading the voting thread. And if it didn’t look as if they were going to win, they stomped off in a huff, never to come back.
Primitives are narcissists; they don’t give a damn about any of their fellow primitives, they care only about their individual selves. They need to grow up; they need to come to the DUmpster to check how their pals are doing too. This lack of interest in other people, especially what are ostensibly their friends, their pals, is one of the most-disturbing characteristics of primitivity.
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I think all three changes should be kept, although one’s free to disagree; I’m not the final arbiter of the rules.
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Because of the pressures of time, and the popularity of the Top DUmmies contest, I think that a third person needs involved in the endeavor. As it is, Mr. Wiggum counts the votes--a more troublesome task than what one might assume; a damnedable bitch of a job, as I learned in 2012--and I write the awards.
This year, the contest was significantly affected by the mood and temperament of the award-writer, which I’m sure showed near the end. After the #06 Top DUmmie (the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive) and the #05 Top DUmmie (
), I don’t think the final four really got their worth.
But I was worn out, dragged out.
This was due to “external factors,†namely the bitterly-cold--and hence highly unusual--winter that descended upon this place beginning in early December; it has been a trial, fraying the nerves and draining the energy. I am wiped out.
The thing that pained the most (and hence had a depressing effect on writing the awards) was that writing them demanded imagination and creativity I don’t possess, and I’m sure it showed, again especially in the last four awards.
I am not an “idea man;†I am simply a “do the job man;†when told what to do, I do it.
When it’s up to me to decide what to do, I’m at a loss.
So future Top DUmmies contests should involve a third person (no need to volunteer now; we got eleven months to figure this out), an “idea man†to determine what “angle†an award should take; after that’s decided, the writing’s as easy as strawberries-and-cream.
