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Author Topic: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)  (Read 1195 times)

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Offline BannedFromDU

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Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« on: October 30, 2013, 10:36:42 PM »
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Link Speed (599 posts)
13. I used to date the body model for Laura Croft - Tomb Raider

She hates to go out (lives in Manhattan) because people just stare at her.

Sure you did, Hollis.

Seriously, how many women has Tom had? Thousands? And EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM was somehow famous and/or rich?

Quote
Link Speed (599 posts)
1. That was an amazing event

We were above it in a helo.

Texas was a pretty cool place before Reagan ****ed up our oil industry - back when Austin was still weird.

Referring to an art event that occurred in 1986 in Houston.

Bullshit, Hollis.
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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2013, 11:20:22 PM »
Oh Hollis - don't worry.  Austin is still weird and full of liberals. 

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Offline Airwolf

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2013, 11:44:36 PM »
Next thing we'll see is him claiming to be the pilot that shot down those Libyan MIGs years ago and his call sign was Maverick.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2013, 11:55:08 PM »
Quote from: Airwolf on October 30, 2013, 11:44:36 PM
Next thing we'll see is him claiming to be the pilot that shot down those Libyan MIGs years ago and his call sign was Maverick.


     Except he was standing on the ground, holding a beer. He picked up a rock and instinctively hurled it in the air, using a formula his grandfather put together with Einstein, who it turns out could play a pretty mean dobro. Many was the night that Tom and Al would stay up all night, discussing quantum mechanics. Anyway, that rock hit the MiG square in its one weak spot, which he knew about because his aunt used to sleep with the guy who designed most Russian aircraft, which by the way that guy brought over the best vodka in the world, and Tom latched onto his secret, and he sells his own private label at $1000/bottle to friends in the wine country.
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Offline liana

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2013, 12:13:26 AM »
This is the same person who claimed to be taking showers only once a week. Sure he dated a model..

 :rofl:  :mental:
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2013, 12:29:36 AM »

     Well, what do you know. The woman Hollis claims he dated is actually a prominent stunt actress with a high profile.

     I'm going to contact her, Hollis, and ask one simple question.

     A question to which we all know the answer.

     
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2013, 09:06:16 AM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on October 30, 2013, 11:55:08 PM

     Except he was standing on the ground, holding a beer. He picked up a rock and instinctively hurled it in the air, using a formula his grandfather put together with Einstein, who it turns out could play a pretty mean dobro. Many was the night that Tom and Al would stay up all night, discussing quantum mechanics. Anyway, that rock hit the MiG square in its one weak spot, which he knew about because his aunt used to sleep with the guy who designed most Russian aircraft, which by the way that guy brought over the best vodka in the world, and Tom latched onto his secret, and he sells his own private label at $1000/bottle to friends in the wine country.

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

H5!
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: Daily Hollis Whoppers (10/30)
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2013, 09:44:28 AM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on October 30, 2013, 11:55:08 PM

     Except he was standing on the ground, holding a beer. He picked up a rock and instinctively hurled it in the air, using a formula his grandfather put together with Einstein, who it turns out could play a pretty mean dobro. Many was the night that Tom and Al would stay up all night, discussing quantum mechanics. Anyway, that rock hit the MiG square in its one weak spot, which he knew about because his aunt used to sleep with the guy who designed most Russian aircraft, which by the way that guy brought over the best vodka in the world, and Tom latched onto his secret, and he sells his own private label at $1000/bottle to friends in the wine country.
Sad thing is that story still too humble for a TiT tall tale/
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