First thing is to take care of yourself, a care giver has a better chance of dieing then the one they care for.
Hard is not the word to describe the part you have played in this episode, Yes your wife went through hell physically, but you went deeper in to hell mentally.
Your stress may have been much worse for you then the wife, she was medicated but you were not.
A good man you are and as your wife recovers you need to get to the doctors that can find a way to realease your stress and repair the damage done to your system with months of worry for you .
It took me 2 years to recover somewhat from my Dads last days, Memories of that time took over from memories I had before he became ill. I still 20 years later remember him as he was in his last days, better then I do when he was healthy.
You and wife have years ahead of you, make sure you will be healthy enough to be at her side.
