primitives discuss changing tires

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022520105

Oh my.

noamnety (18,313 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 09:33 PM

On changing tires for people

I work with teens, and one of the things I've discovered is most of them - male or female - have never been taught how to change a tire. I've had students track me down outside of school to tell me they have a flat and don't know what to do.
 
I could change it for them, but what I do instead is talk them through the process - but have them do the actual work, so they know for next time. It's really not any different than how I would want them to learn in a classroom - learn by doing. That way the next time they have a flat they won't feel scared or incompetent, or have to wait to be rescued, or be at the mercy of a stranger, which has an element of risk.
 
Once, a group of my students found me while I was performing at a Rennfest. They had driven the last few miles on a flat, with the idea that once they were there they could find me and I would bail them out. I went out to the parking lot with them during my break. We got out their tire iron from the trunk and a guy came over determined to help us out by doing it for us. I waved him away and told him we got this. I really wanted the kids to do it. He kept insisting he would do it for them. In the end, amidst my kids' shocked faces, I held up the tire iron in a threatening gesture, while wearing my floor length red velvet gown - full rennfest costuming - and told him to leave us alone. The thing I want to emphasize though is that it wasn't about sexism on my end at all, it was about the difference between treating newly licensed teens like they aren't able to do simple tasks that every driver should know, vs. empowering them.
 
I've had kids follow me on their spare back to my house, then I've shown them how to find the leak, pull the nail if that's the cause, and how to plug it.
 
Sometimes things are about being polite (holding a door). Sometimes things are about realizing someone is lacking confidence or knowledge to perform a basic task. Next time you all come across someone (male or female) who's stranded because they don't know how to change a tire, offer to help - but think about helping by talking them through all the steps. You'll feel good about helping, and they'll drive away with a feeling of accomplishment.

proud2BlibKansan (95,940 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 09:35 PM

1. Or you could just buy a road service plan

Mine is $3 a month.

Curmudgeoness (9,883 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 10:29 PM

11. Yeah, I used to have one of those too.

After sitting there for 2 hours waiting for the road service to show up to do something that I could have done in 15 minutes, it seemed to me I was an idiot.
 
I will say the only problem that I have with changing a tire is getting the lug nuts loose. There is always one that just will not budge.

^^^the primitive with a sensitive bottom.

datasuspect (25,246 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 09:38 PM

3. why would you hold a tire iron in a menacing/threatening manner toward a complete stranger who just wanted to help?

i can understand your passion in working with these young people to help them learn some kind of life lesson, but menacing a stranger who wants to help?
 
it makes no sense.

noamnety (18,313 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 09:40 PM

4. I think it was clear I wasn't going to attack him.

Sadly, it was also clear he wasn't going to take a firm repeated no as an answer. I needed a moment of drama.

alarimer (11,511 posts)    Sun Mar 17, 2013, 12:30 AM

17. You don't know that they just want to help

Sociopaths are very good at faking friendliness to get close to people, for example.
 
It is easier and safer to do it yourself.

datasuspect (25,246 posts)    Sun Mar 17, 2013, 12:33 AM

19. i can tell within 3 seconds if someone means to do harm

if you're in a parking lot at a festival or concert, with a throng of kids around you and possibly nearby crowds, most sociopaths would probably look for lower hanging fruit.
 
faking friendliness to help change a tire in a parking lot to get close to someone one? does not compute. makes no sense.

noamnety (18,313 posts)   Sun Mar 17, 2013, 09:28 AM

24. Yeah, I didn't feel physically threatened in that location

It was more that if someone offers to help, my first reaction is they are an awesome person.
 
And then if it's something I really want to handle myself (or in this case have the kids handle), then I'll nicely decline. I'm used to a bit of the "Are you sure - really I don't mind" dance. But this guy really wasn't taking no for an answer, and at that point it goes beyond nice to controlling in a way I don't appreciate. On his end it likely was a bit of sexism. I understand assuming that women don't know how to change a tire; it's not a typical gender skill. But it became more of an issue of him not allowing women to do it, and that wasn't an attitude I was willing to have my students accept, or see me accept. In the moment, I was costumed as a "damsel" - but in real life I'm an ex-army sgt.
 
That's when I turned from No thanks to FU GET AWAY FROM US. If the kids' response to a flat is to drive on it for miles until they find an adult they know, the most important thing long term is to give them the skill to change a tire, rather than the short term easy fix of letting someone do it for them.

auntsue (195 posts)    Sat Mar 16, 2013, 10:28 PM

10. My dad used to say no daughter of mine is going to be crying on the side of the road over a flat tire. So as we were ready to drive, tire cahnge traing was a part of the drill. Quite a few times I have been so glad of that training. It feels good to say..I got this.

I am right with you about teching a skill rather than doing the task. When I was a nanny the 5 year old came to me to replace some batteries in a toy...instead of just putting them in, I showed him how to see which way they go.

When I was about 7..I threw a ball to my dad and he said "ah you throw like a girl" I said, "I AM a girl". He said, "That's no excuse...her let me show you how to throw where you're lookin'." He never treated us as if girls were incapable. AND when a son finally came along it was the same and the boy got to learn "girl stuff" too.

nadinbrzezinski (117,229 posts)   Sat Mar 16, 2013, 10:32 PM

12. We had to change the one in the ambulance.

Take my word for it...much harder than the car.

You can as the same about using jumper cables

alarimer (11,511 posts)    Sun Mar 17, 2013, 12:28 AM

16. I learned how to do because I do not want some strange man stopping by to help me.

Sorry, guys, if I don't know you, I don't trust your intentions.

Besides stranger danger, there was the time I hit a pig on a deserted Texas back road near dawn in the fog. There was nobody around and I couldn't even see far enough to find a house or anything. I had AAA, but they take hours and I needed to be somewhere.
 
It is faster and easier to do things for yourself than to rely on others. NEVER, EVER rely on other people for anything. And certainly don't rely on the "kindness" of strangers. Because they are not kind usually or well-intentioned,

You know, I was 37 years old, and had been driving for 22 years, by the time I first changed a flat tire myself.

I dunno what it is; it also needs pointed out the only time I ever ran out of gasoline (defective fuel gauge on the dashboard) was.....at a gasoline station.

Anyway, one can drive for hours, and miles and miles, in the Sandhills of Nebraska, without ever seeing another motor vehicle.  So it's always best to know how to do these things.

But it's always been really odd, that something suddenly goes wrong, and as one's pulling over to the side of the road, another motor vehicle appears as if out of thin air, and stops.

I've still only ever changed one tire in my life.

[Skul]

You can as the same about using jumper cables

I hope she remembered to torque the lug nuts. 

[Carl]

They still have their knickers in a knot over this benevolent sexism idiocy?

My God what pathetic and miserable lives they live.

[NHSparky]

I got my license on my 15th birthday.  I changed my first tire (alone, up in the boonies) about a month after that when I hit a berm too hard.

[Freeper]

I find it odd that a group of people who need the government to provide their next meal is talking about doing things for themselves.

[BlueStateSaint]

I helped a woman, who I knew was a lesbian, change a tire on her car one day.  She mad a small snide remark afterwards.  Not unexpected.

[jukin]

The DUchebags take pride in not being able to do anything but force totalitarian policies on productive people.

They are right, today's kids know how to do very little than play on their phones. Do they understand that it is their policies that have brought self-reliant Americans to this point? A leak in a roof is tantamount to complete disaster for most of society.

[IassaFTots]

I can change my own tire.  I don't care to, but I have, and I can if I have to.

[Big Don]

I have AAA so I don't have to change tires.
Or, drive home after drinking... as often as I go out, it isn't wasteful.

[J P Sousa]

  I work with teens, and one of the things I've discovered is most of them - male or female - have never been taught how to change a tire.   

Hmmmm, maybe they.........were in public school and can't read ? The owners manual has specific directions on changing a tire. 
.

[Dori]

I have AAA so I don't have to change tires.

That's my solution too...

I've changed three tires in my life.....and all three were in the rain...

[Chris_]

I wonder if Allstate has a sober driving program.

Best $13 a month I've ever spent.

[Chris_]

That's my solution too...

I've changed three tires in my life.....and all three were in the rain...

I don't mind changing tires as long as the car I'm driving has a spare.  The last car I bought, I had to buy an extra wheel and have a tire put on it.  My cars seem to enjoy sucking up nails and screws.  I spent $200 on an air compressor just to have something at home to keep my tires inflated. 

[longview]

It's good for the kids (and doesn't hurt for anyone, IMO) to know how to change a tire.  I would appreciate any adult in my kids lives that just included practical info.  Oh, wait, mine DID have many adults like that.  It sounds like maybe she knows the kids through something with school, and I will agree that schools aren't responsible for teaching basic things like this, unless it's related to the class.  But, putting an incident to good use is not a bad thing.

Considering that the kids this person knows are probably driving cars paid for and maintained by their parents, she's doing the parents a favor, too.

My friends and I have taught a few teens how to change oil, flush radiators, change brake pads,  just basic stuff.  I don't even think it matters if they are never going to do any of those things.  In some cases they might, in others, it might just be good to be around an adult who will spend time with you.  I've also volunteered at a church in Casper, WY that taught low income people (mostly single moms) how to change oil, their tires, when to buy new tires or brakes, etc. .