http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022524359Oh my.
coeur_de_lion (1,111 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 05:24 PM
So last night I told my oldest sister not to contact me anymore
During the presidential campaign, we argued over whether the taxpayers pay for Obama's campaign stops. I explained back then that campaign finance laws dictate that an incumbent president reimburse the government for expenses of the campaign (including the use of Air Force One). That this doesn't just apply to Obama; it applied to GW Bush too. I also explained that Obama is the first incumbent president to forgo public financing, so he raised all of his campaign funds on his own. No involuntary taxpayer funds paid for Obama's campaign.
She blocked me on facebook.
Then last week my grand niece was born. Sister sent me an email telling me to check out her granddaughter's pics on facebook. I wrote back a one line email that I couldn't because she blocked me. Back and forth a few times, she came back with the same tired argument that the taxpayers paid for Obama's campaign expenses, vacations, and "boondoggles" whatever that means. That Obama was vacationing too much. And that she couldn't be bothered to unblock me on facebook because she is to busy, and I can check out the pics on her son's facebook.
So I linked her an article comparing presidential vacation days. As we all know * used more days than any president in recent history. I reiterated the campaign finance laws.
Tied into all of this is that she is getting married the week before I am, so I can't go to her wedding. She is angry at me for not clearing my wedding date with her. I explained that my wedding was going to be a private quiet destination wedding, with possibly a public reception on our 1st wedding anniversary. That it had been planned before she got engaged, and that I didn't need her permission set a date to get married. That all of my vacation days were used up for my honeymoon so no matter what I couldn't have attended her wedding anyway.
Then I pulled out the big guns. Keep in mind we are a very large Irish family with ferocious tempers, and I was losing mine fast. I've been fed up with her spouting Fox News crap for a few years now.
I told her that I couldn't think of a good reason she would hate the president so, that I was starting to wonder if she was racist. But since I don't want to believe that of my own sister, I choose to believe she merely likes to create drama. That I don't even know her anymore, I've recently lost respect for her because of this.
She certainly never used to be this type of person. Out of a large noisy Irish family she was always the most mellow, slow moving, apathetic of my siblings. Couldn't be stirred to argue.
Finally, I asked her to leave me off her facebook, and not to contact me anymore.
When I lose my temper it stays lost a long time. I'm not sure I'll speak to her again and it doesn't bother me at all.
ZombieHorde (23,000 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 05:31 PM
2. I'm sorry you are fighting with your sister over politics.
And then Ugly, she with the face like Hindenburg's, jaws in:
Warpy (67,615 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 05:37 PM
7. Well, you've surely heard of Irish Alzheimer's
That's when you forget everything but a grudge.
Likely big sister's conversion to right wing hate has something to do with the lout she is marrying.
Since it's a big family, you can be content with getting messages from her second hand for the short term.
Long term, a birth or death will eventually throw you together and you can patch things up or confirm that you want nothing to do with each other.
Irish tempers are pure hell to cope with, I have one of those myself. It sounds like this one's been building up for some time and it will also take time to get over it, if either of you ever does.
Honeycombe8 (16,939 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 05:43 PM
12. I hate to hear that. My family is mainly rightwingnuts.
Rule #1....avoid politics with rightwingnuts. I tell them we will have to agree to disagree. They keep trying to draw me into a political discussion (on the phone...they're in another state). Sometimes I do, but we manage not to get too out of sorts. But I am careful to keep it short, and I NEVER bring it up.
I don't have to wonder about MY family. They ARE racist.*
I hate to hear that you and your sister have cut off communications. I cut off communications with a prior sister in law, but she's not blood relative. Families get more important as I get older. I'm glad we've stayed in contact and managed to stay on speaking terms. The sharing of medical conditions, particularly genetic or hereditary, is important, as well as the shared memories, and in my case, the same sense of humor and same likes and dislikes of some things, because we were raised the same.
Still...sometimes it's unavoidable and a person just has to accept that that's a bad relationship and not healthy for you. I have done that for years at a time. You are your first consideration. There's no need to subject yourself to a mean, rude person just because she's a relative.
She probably won't change, though. Rightwingnuts...they're something else. Hatred forms a big part of who they are, IMO
*reminds me of that old saying by Oscar Wilde, about a dinner guest: "the more he boasted of his virtues, the more I counted the linen and silver."
Linen and silverware of course being highly-expensive items during the 1880s, and susceptible to theft.
LeftInTX (1,437 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 05:44 PM
13. Avoid discussing politics with her
My dad is one of those right wing nuts, who is a neocon. He tries to impose his view on me and I just ignore him. I don't think he even knows what my political views are anymore. We've been disagreeing since Vietnam. He went to Vietnam, when I was 10, and rubbed it in our faces when we protested as teenagers. He hates Democrats and I have no idea why anymore, nor do I want to know why. I just avoid politics if he brings it up.
LeftofObama (1,990 posts) Sun Mar 17, 2013, 06:03 PM
19. Agree 100%!
I have a right wing aunt that I have absolutely no use for. I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with right wing nuttery. Either start acting like a normal sane human being or leave me the hell alone.
