pilgrim primitive has fight with wife

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11513403

Oh my.

HereSince1628 (25,907 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 12:32 PM

Can a flashback be back to an emotion rather than a memory of an experience...

I just went through another emotional crisis with the SO surrounding helping her with the computer.
 
Not to put her down, but she's somewhat phobic/resistant to learning technology. As she gets frustrated she gets vocally hyperbolic saying things like "I never should have bought this!...I'll just throw this away!...Help me!...You can never explain anything!...I'll just throw this away, so I'll just have to left back in the dark ages looking like an idiot!"
 
It's become quite a problem for me. I want to help her, but I often don't know anymore than she does. It makes me extraordinarily anxious and emotional. It ties my intestines into knots, and I feel overwhelmed with a fight or flight response, I find myself in a space where all I desperately want is for her to "shut the **** up!" and stop the tirade and _that_ sentiment quickly sends us into conflict
 
So, after the last one an hour ago I was contemplating the experience bad behavior and self-loathing about that, and after asking myself for the thousandth time why she + me + a technology problem ALWAYS goes that way. And a thought crossed my mind--Is it possible to flashback into an emotion rather than a memory?

mopinko (39,473 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 12:41 PM

1. i dunno, but for years

DH and i couldn't change a lightbulb together. and the emotion underneath it was trust. i would get especially frustrated about stuff that i knew way better than he did. but the situations where we were closer to equal did have a different feel.
 
so, i think the answer is yes.

^^^the hypochondrial primitive; she's had ever ailment and affliction known to mankind, including hemophilia and prostrate problems.  And yes, not only the West Nile virus, but the East Nile virus too.

BainsBane (5,954 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 12:41 PM

2. Scientific studies show that memory is linked to emotion

Which is why we tend to remember moments of pain or great joy over mundane experiences. The emotion you felt with your SO during the computer instruction might have been somewhat similar to the experience about which you had the flashback. Even if not the case, emotion is clearly linked to memory and PTSD especially. I saw a program on PBS about this a while back.

HereSince1628 (25,907 posts)   Wed Mar 13, 2013, 12:59 PM

3. I always thought of flashbacks in terms of memories that relived trauma

It never registered with me, and maybe it's an error to frame it so, that a flashback could be returning to a previous traumatic emotional state.
 
I've often felt like I snap into subroutines of personality that are emotionally/rationally limited...maybe this is also, or instead, a snapping into a previous traumatic emotional state???
 
And when I say trauma I don't necessarily mean a physically or emotionally abusive event, but something that generates extremely high anxiety or fear.
 
I've never run into anything about while poking around the internet in search of clues to understanding myself.

<<<doesn't use internet when looking around for clues to understanding self; God's bigger than google, and more accurate anyway.

fizzgig (17,175 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 01:23 PM

4. i don't see why not

i can't quite form fully coherent thoughts yet as i just started my first cup of coffee, but having an experience that takes us back to negative emotions rather than a specific memory makes perfect sense to me.

^^^the stout matronly primitive.

get the red out (6,973 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 02:29 PM

5. I have had those

I have even had them triggered by a particular (ironically peaceful) weather situation that was going on during a particularly wretched and painful part of my life. It is a particular feeling in the air in the middle of winter when it is damp and perhaps has snowed a little bit. It can trigger some very real feelings of anxiety that I am certain relate to that time period.

[Dori]

after asking myself for the thousandth time why she + me + a technology problem ALWAYS goes that way. And a thought crossed my mind--Is it possible to flashback into an emotion rather than a memory?

The only flashing back your doing is to her past temper tantrums.   Tell her your not going to help her and if she wants to learn the computer, she needs to grow up, put on her big girl panties and take a class to learn it. 

[seahorse513]

I agree with Dori, ghere are so many community courses, or adult classes that teach intro to computers, the web, etc...grow the **** up already!@!!

[Evil_Conservative]

fizzgig (17,175 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 01:23 PM

4. i don't see why not

i can't quite form fully coherent thoughts yet as i just started my first cup of coffee, but having an experience that takes us back to negative emotions rather than a specific memory makes perfect sense to me.

Does this DUmmy wake up at 1pm every day or something?

[USA4ME]

If his wife is a moonbat, she's probably still pissed he held the door open for her.

.

[vesta111]

Does this DUmmy wake up at 1pm every day or something?

Don't know about flashbacks, are these just memories that come in when a sound, smell or sight bounce into ones head ???

Music will do that to me, a song that relates to sometime in the past that was either good or bad.

Fresh baked Bread or a baking Turkey sometimes.   Scent, woman's perfume or mans calone I have not smelled in a long time.

 Worse for me was after 3 years of a meatless diet I walked into a mall with a steak house pouring the smell of charred medium cooked steak into the air.   I went into a fog and found myself inside ordering the biggest steak they had.   So much for that foolishness, I went back to my old ways and told myself if God had meant me to be a herbivore He would have given me cow teeth.    

I hit the grocery store on way home and bought every kind of meat they sold.   In one month I dropped 10 pounds.  My face cleared up, the pasty white turned a nice pink and I had tons more energy,     Some times these so called flashbacks are good for you.



  


  

[JohnnyReb]

MY GOD, do DUmmies have to psychoanalyze every little thing in life?

[Big Dog]

if God had meant me to be a herbivore He would have given me cow teeth.    

vesta, this is, without a doubt, the most cogent thing I have ever read from your posts. Hi5!

[JohnnyReb]

If God had meant me to be a herbivore He would have given me cow teeth.    

Well, take out your uppers because cows only have teeth on their lower jaw.

[wasp69]

HereSince1628 (25,907 posts)    Wed Mar 13, 2013, 12:32 PM

Can a flashback be back to an emotion rather than a memory of an experience...

I just went through another emotional crisis with the SO surrounding helping her with the computer.

Seriously?  This is who's going to be leading the proletariat to glorious revolution?  A whiny bitch that likens dealing with his **** of a wife to something as mind crushing as combat?  This is who's going to line us up against a wall?

 

**** you, you worthless sissy-mary.  It's obvious your wife is the man of the ****ing house.

[Chris_]

What a delicate little flower.

[wasp69]

What a delicate little flower.

A shrinking violet, as it were.

[vesta111]

Well, take out your uppers because cows only have teeth on their lower jaw.

What the heck are you talking about ??????   My cow who died was dragged into the woods to feed the forest dwellers.    A couple of years later we found her bones and skull.     

I brought home her head skull with horns still attached, soaked her in Clorox, and painted her up and she is hanging on the wall still with, I just counted 9 back molars still intact.  We never found her lower jaw bone but the very idea a cow can chew its cud with no upper teeth is frankly unlikely.